Incite. James Frey
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John asked, and took a sip.
“It’s scary shit,” Tommy said.
Mary squeezed my hand.
“There’s a lot to know,” John said. “The history of it would take hours to tell. I’ll start with a question—what do you believe about the end of the world?”
I laughed for a moment, because I didn’t think he was being serious. But I was the only one laughing. “The end of the world? I don’t know. My mom is the churchgoer in our family. A Baptist. I’ve never paid much attention. Raining fire and brimstone, and all the sinners go to hell and the good people go to heaven, I guess? Why’s that important?”
“You want to know about Endgame, right? Mary, tell us what you know,” John said.
“What I know? Or what I was taught in catechism?”
“First what you were taught.”
She brushed some loose strands of hair out of her face. “I was raised Catholic. The Bible says that Christ will return, and that no one knows the time of his coming. The wicked will grow worse and worse and the Antichrist will come and the entire world will fall away. Finally Christ will come down to purge the wicked and sit in judgment of all people. That’s what I was taught, anyway.”
I smiled, first at her and then at John. “Are we really sitting in the back of a bar talking about the end of the world? Do you know what I’d be talking about if I was back home? Furniture. And if I went out with my friends—which I never had time to do—we’d talk about baseball. And I hate baseball.”
“Oh, you’ve just never seen good baseball,” John said with a laugh. “But yeah—the end of the world. It’s is a crazy topic. You’ve got to be a little bit nuts to deal with it all. Tommy, how about you? What do you believe?”
Tommy rolled his eyes. “I’m Hopi. Everything is different for us.”
“Yeah,” John said, “but I like to hear it. And it will help Mike understand.”
“There are, supposedly, nine signs to watch for. The first one is that white men will come. As you can see, that one’s already happened.” Tommy laughed. “There are prophecies about covered wagons and longhorn cattle and telescopes. But it all comes down to the ninth sign. All the others have happened already. We’re currently in the Fourth World, and the ninth prophecy says we’re going to hear a crash in the heavens and see a blue star. The Blue Star Kachina will be revealed and take the faithful to the Fifth World.”
“So,” I asked, “what happens if you’re not Hopi?”
He pointed at Mary. “What happens if you’re not Catholic?”
John took a sip of his drink, looked at me, and said, “What do you think the truth is?”
“Nuclear holocaust,” I said. “Sooner or later.”
“And you don’t believe in a god or a kachina or the Rapture or anything like that?”
“I’m not saying there definitely isn’t a god. I’m just saying I never really believed in one, like you.”
John eyed me carefully. “I don’t believe in God,” he said. “I believe in Endgame.”
“What?” I asked. “What religion is that?”
“It’s not a religion. It’s the end of the world. It could start at any moment. I don’t know.”
I looked at Tommy, who stared at me like he was waiting for me to say something. Mary still held my hand, her other holding her bottle of Budweiser. She looked back at me as I stared, our faces close together.
“This,” I said, turning back to John and laughing, “is why I never drink. You guys are freaking me out.”
“I like you, Mike.” John leaned back and laughed. “Listen, when do you start work?”
Mary’s hand brushed against mine, but I tried to focus on John. “Uh … not till next week.”
“We’re having a get-together this weekend with a lot of my friends. Up at Mary’s ranch. Nothing formal, just fishing and shooting and hiking. Come with us—it’ll be fun.”
“Thanks, man. But I don’t have a car.”
“That doesn’t matter,” John said. “We have plenty of people coming who can give you a ride. Why don’t you get a lift with Mary?”
She nodded emphatically. “I have my dad’s old Buick. I’ll pick you up.”
Tommy spoke up. “C’mon, Stavros. It’s cool. You should come.”
I never did anything like this. And not only that, but I never did it so spontaneously. “Well, I don’t know how to shoot, and I haven’t fished since I was in the Boy Scouts, but sure, sounds good.”
I was happy. I’d found a group of friends who felt like they could be my people. And for a moment I forgot about all the talk of the end of the world as John bought another round of drinks.
Tommy and I walked back to our dorm. He was drunk—we’d played pool for two straight hours. For my first day of college, this had been pretty cool. I’d met a bunch of new people, including a beautiful girl who’d stayed next to me most of the night. I had no idea where that had come from—I didn’t know what she meant by it.
I hoped it meant something.
“Tommy,” I said, “how long have you known Mary?”
“Not long. I only started hanging out with that group … um … during fall semester?”
“So you’re pretty new?”
“Yeah,” he said, his words slightly slurred from all the beer. “I guess. She’s been with the group for only a little longer than me. But I always get the feeling that she’s known John forever.”
“Forever?”
“For a long time. I don’t know. Longer than a year anyway. Are you interested in her?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Hey man, that’s cool. She’s not my type anyway.”
We turned onto a street without any streetlights.
“A totally hot girl with deep blue eyes and blond hair isn’t your type? She’s on a scholarship at Stanford, so she’s smart too. What is your type?”
“I like brunettes,” he said.
“Well, your loss is my gain.”
Tommy winked at me. “I assume this means you’re coming on our ranch trip?”
“A whole weekend with Mary?” I said. “Are you kidding? Of course I’m in.”
I really did want to go—and not just because of Mary. I’d had this picture in my head of what Berkeley was supposed to be like, and suddenly I was living it. Getting together with friends, talking about big issues—the war, the government. Even the end of the world.
Of course, at that point I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
We all met in the grocery store parking lot Friday at five in the morning, and I was stunned by who showed up. I thought it was going to be just our group, but it turned out to be a whole lot bigger than that. There were the people I knew—Mary, Tommy, Jim, Julia, and John—but there were also many I’d never met.
Other than a change of clothes, I hadn’t brought anything with me, but most had fishing poles or shotguns or deer rifles. When we got there, Mary threw her arms around me in a huge hug. She smelled