Chapter 3

      Foolishness. Or so Lilly quickly told herself. That didn’t stop her from enjoying the respite from the constant buzz of trepidation that usually swirled inside her, mingling with the fear. Abstractly, she knew she wasn’t supposed to be so uneasy, but the queasy feeling that there was danger all around her persisted. She didn’t know how to stop it. Therapy was supposed to help, but it hadn’t.

      In fact, she could count on the fingers of one hand the moments of calm since she’d been freed from captivity. Last night and right now—this was huge. Allowing herself a small smile while making sure Kane couldn’t see, she sighed. She closed her eyes and let herself slide into sleep.

      She’d slept a little, and then they’d stopped for lunch and stretched their legs, and gotten right back on the road. They didn’t talk much, which to her surprise felt comfortable.

      That night, they stopped in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. When he pulled into the small motel’s parking lot, asking her to wait in the car while he got them a room, anticipation filled her rather than dread. Because later, surely he’d sing. Stunned, she realized she craved this, the same way she’d once craved water.

      After checking into their room, which oddly bore a close resemblance to the previous one, Kane suggested they walk across the parking lot to the small, brightly lit café.

      “Okay.” She didn’t even have to consider her answer. The fast-food they’d consumed hours ago for lunch had long since been digested and she felt hollow. Which meant she was hungry. Not a new sensation by any means, but her body had once been accustomed to being starved. Allowing herself to want food, to actually anticipate the flavor on her taste buds, was yet another thing that should have brought her happiness, but instead stressed her out. She couldn’t shake the certainty of believing if she allowed herself to enjoy one thing—anything—it would be promptly taken away from her. Conditioning, her shrink had said. Whatever it was, it was a part of her that she now hated.

      He stayed close to her side as they crossed the well-lit motel lot into the café. The place was bright and crowded, and the scent of hamburgers cooking made her mouth water.

      “Heaven,” she breathed, before realizing what she’d done and immediately trying to shut the instant of pleasure down.

      “Don’t,” he said quietly, as if he understood. And then, shocking her, he took her hand. When he closed his large fingers firmly around hers, she struggled against a sharp stab of panic.

      “I...” Tugging, she stopped when she saw the kindness in his eyes. “Sorry.”

      “Don’t apologize.” Instead of releasing her, he continued to hold on to her hand while they waited for the hostess to gather menus. As they followed the woman to their booth, Lilly wondered when Kane planned to let her go.

      He released her when they reached their seats, sliding into the booth on the side facing the door. Studying him, she thought he appeared relaxed. Which was good, as that would mean they weren’t in any immediate danger.

      She wished she could relax, as well.

      “Are you always so jumpy?”

      As if to underscore his comment, she started at his words. “Yes,” she answered, refusing to sugarcoat it. “As I’m sure you noticed, I’m pretty messed up.”

      “That’s understandable.” No censure, only compassion in that wonderful, rich voice of his. He opened his menu, to her relief. “What are you in the mood for?”

      “A burger,” she blurted, her mouth starting to water, “and fries.”

      He nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll have the same.”

      With a start, she realized the waitress stood nearby, ready to take their orders. Lilly’d been too lost in her thoughts to notice.

      “And two milkshakes,” Kane continued, handing the menus back.

      “What flavor?” the waitress asked.

      Kane’s silver eyes met Lilly’s, causing a spark to flare low in her belly. “Are you a chocolate or vanilla person?”

      “Do you have banana?” she blurted, forcing herself to meet the waitress’s gaze.

      “Yep.”

      “I’d like that.”

      “We’ll take two,” Kane seconded, grinning so broadly Lilly wondered if she’d made some sort of public mistake.

      Once the waitress moved away, Kane reached across the table and lightly touched her cheek, pretending not to notice when she flinched. “You know what you want,” he said, his tone vibrating with praise. “I like that.”

      To her befuddled amazement, she felt her face heat at the compliment. “Thanks.”

      When their food arrived along with the milkshakes, huge burgers next to a mound of crispy fries that looked every bit as good as they smelled, she froze. After shooting Kane a quick glance, she snatched hers up and sank her teeth into it. The flavor exploded in her mouth, making her hum with pleasure.

      Half the thing was gone before she realized it. Glancing at Kane, she saw he watched her while he ate his own, much more slowly. Sheepishly, she put her burger down and made herself take some of her fries.

      “You look like you’re enjoying that,” he said, smiling.

      “I am.” Careful not to talk with her mouth full, she took a long drink of her shake, almost purring out loud at the sweet banana deliciousness as it slid down her throat.

      He laughed, a sound of genuine pleasure. “I take it you like your milkshake, too.”

      She nodded, swallowing one last sip before answering. “This is great.” Looking up, she met his laughing gaze. With a sense of shock, she realized Kane was damn near beautiful when he smiled. The thought made her full stomach hurt. Careful to look away, she tried to think of something else.

      As seemed to be his wont, Kane came to the rescue. “Didn’t Lucas feed you back there in Seattle?”

      “He did.” She tried to think of a diplomatic way to explain. Since there was none,