Fool’s Fate. Робин Хобб
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collar, assessing his fever. ‘For how long,’ he asked me, ‘has he been fasting?’
‘It has been at least three days since he took any substantial food that stayed with him.’
Chade breathed out noisily. ‘Well, that is where we must begin. Get nourishment into him. Salty broths, thick with soft meat and vegetables.’
I nodded, but Thick groaned and turned his face to the wall. His music had an odd floating quality to it. It seemed to fade into a distance, as if it were leaking into a place I could not access.
Chade’s hand on my wrist distracted me. What did you do to him, last night? Did you cause this sickness, do you think?
His query shocked me and I answered it aloud. ‘No. No, I think this is just the result of his seasickness, his nights on deck in the rain and a lack of food.’
Thick had, perhaps, been aware of our Skilling. He rolled his head toward us and looked at me balefully. Then his eyes sank shut again.
Chade moved away, motioning for me to follow. He sank down onto a well-padded bench built beneath one of the windows and indicated I should sit close beside him. The Prince had been setting out game pieces for stones. Now he lifted his gaze to regard us curiously.
‘Strange, that speaking softly may be the best way to keep this private.’ Chade pointed out the window as if bidding me observe something. I leaned forward and nodded. He smiled, and spoke quietly near my ear. ‘I could not sleep last night. I’ve been practising Skill-exercises on my own. I fancy that I’ve become more attuned to it. Thick’s music was strong and wild. Then, I sensed something … someone. You, I thought. But there was another presence, one I thought I had glimpsed before. It grew stronger, more masterful; then Thick’s music calmed.’
A part of me was astounded that Chade was strong enough in the Skill to have witnessed anything. I didn’t think fast enough and I was silent for too long before I asked innocently, ‘Another presence?’
Chade smiled toothily. ‘Nettle, I think. You are bringing her into the coterie this way?’
‘Not really,’ I said. And it was like a wall collapsing, this surrendering of my secret to Chade. I resented it, and yet I could not deny the relief that I felt to speak of it. I was tired of my secrets, I realized abruptly. Too tired to protect them any more. Let him know of Nettle and her strength. It didn’t mean I’d allow her to be used. ‘I asked a favour of her. I needed to let her know that Swift was safe and that I’d watch over him. Before we left Buckkeep, I’d told her that he was coming home, because that was what I believed. When I discovered he’d come aboard with Web, well … I couldn’t leave her in suspense, wondering if her brother were dead in a ditch somewhere.’
‘Of course not,’ Chade murmured. His eyes glinted with hunger for information. I fed it.
‘In return, I asked that she soothe Thick’s nightmare. She seems very skilled at controlling her own dreams. Last night, she proved capable of controlling someone else’s.’
I watched his face as avidly as he watched mine. I saw him ponder the possible uses of such a thing; saw sparks kindle as he recognized how powerful a weapon it could be. To take control of the images in a man’s mind, to guide his unguarded thoughts into channels grim and daunting, or uplifting and lovely … what could not be done with such a tool? One could craze a man with nightly terrors, inspire a wedding alliance based on romantic dreams, or poison an alliance with suspicions.
‘No,’ I said quietly. ‘Nettle is unaware of the power of what she does. She does not even know it is the Skill she plies. I will not bring her into the coterie, Chade.’ And then I told the most cunningly crafted lie I could swiftly fashion. Had he been aware of it, Chade would have been proud of me. ‘She will work best for us as a solo, uncognizant of the full import of what she does. She will remain more tractable so. Even as I was, when I worked as an unknowing youth.’
He nodded gravely, not bothering to deny the truth of it. I saw then a blind spot in my mentor. He had loved me, and yet still used me, and still permitted me to be used. Perhaps, just as he had been used. He did not guess that I would shield Nettle from such a fate. ‘I’m glad you have come to see that that is for the best,’ he said approvingly.
‘What’s out there?’ the Prince asked curiously. He rose to come and stare out of the window. Chade replied some nonsense about us playing tricks with our eyes, seeing first the ships as moving upon the water and then blinking, to make the water move beneath the ships.
‘And what was it that you wished to speak to us privately about?’ Dutiful asked curiously.
Chade took a breath and almost I saw him scrabble for a topic. ‘I think this is an excellent arrangement. With both Thick and Fitz here, we have access to our entire coterie. I think it would be well if we let it be known that Thick has grown very attached to Fitz and wishes him near. With that excuse, it will not seem so odd for an ordinary guardsman to attend his prince so closely, even after Thick’s health improves.’
‘I thought we had already discussed that?’ Dutiful queried.
‘Did we? Well. I suppose we did. Excuse an old man’s wandering mind, my prince.’
Dutiful made a small and sceptical noise. I made a tactful retreat to Thick’s bedside.
His fever had in no way abated. Chade called a servant and commanded the foods he thought would be most helpful for Thick. I thought of the surly cook I’d encountered and pitied the boy sent with the order. He returned far too soon with a cup of hot water with a piece of salt meat in the bottom of it. Chade fumed at that, and sent a second serving man with terse and precise orders. I coaxed plain water into Thick, and listened anxiously as his breathing grew more hoarse.
The food arrived. The cook’s second effort was much better than her first, and I managed to spoon some of it down Thick. His throat was sore and swallowing pained him, so the meal was very slow. She had also, at Chade’s direction, sent food for me so that I could eat without leaving his side. That became the regular pattern of my meals. It was nice to be able to eat at my leisure without competing with the rest of the guardsmen but at the same time, it isolated me from any talk save Thick’s, Chade’s and Dutiful’s.
I had hoped to get a solid night of sleep my first night in the Prince’s cabin. Thick had settled and did not toss or moan. I dared to hope that he had found his own peace. My pallet spanned the threshold to his closet. I closed my eyes, longing to find my own rest, but instead breathed deep, centred myself and dove into Thick’s dream.
He wasn’t alone. Kitten-Thick nestled in the middle of a big bed upon his cushion while Nettle moved quietly around the tiny room. She seemed to be busy with evening tasks. She hummed as she tidied away discarded clothing and then set foodstuffs into the cupboards. When she was finished, the little room was neat and bright. ‘There,’ she told the watchful kitten. ‘You see. All is well. Everything is where it should be and as it should be. And you are safe. Sweet dreams, little one.’ She stood on her tiptoes to blow out the lamp. I had a sudden odd realization. I had known she was Nettle, but perceived her through Thick’s eyes as a short, stout woman with long greying hair bundled into a knot and deep lines in her face. His mother, I realized, and knew then that she had borne him very late in her life. She looked more of an age to be his grandmother. Then Thick’s dream retreated from me, as if I gazed at a lighted window from a distance. I looked around me. We were on the hillside, the melted tower above me and a bramble of dead briars surrounding me. Nettle stood at my side. ‘I do this for him, not you,’ she said bluntly. ‘No soul should have to endure dreams so plagued with fear.’
‘You’re angry at me?’ I asked her slowly. I dreaded her answer.
She did not look at me. From nowhere, a cold wind blew between us. She spoke through it. ‘What did they really mean, those words you told me to say to my father? Are you truly a callous beast, Shadow Wolf, that you gave me words to pierce his heart?’
Yes. No. I lacked a truthful answer to give her. I tried to say, I would never want to hurt him. But was that true?