Crazy, Stupid Sex. Maisey Yates

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Crazy, Stupid Sex - Maisey Yates


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bit breathless now. “After all…there could be…ointment involved which is…not sexy.”

      He winked and pressed his lips against hers. Light. The pressure so faint she almost thought she’d imagined it. “Not really,” he whispered. “Luckily, you are quite sexy.”

      “Even with the awkward?”

      “It’s charming.”

      “Is it?”

      “I don’t know. I’ve been staring at your breasts this whole time. I can tell you without a doubt that they’re charming.”

      Her heart jumped, a little shiver of pleasure skating over her skin. “How do you do that?”

      “What?”

      “Say the most douchey things and make them sound hot?”

      “It’s a gift. I wasn’t good in school. I’ve been fired from almost every job I’ve ever had. But I can pick up a woman in a bar without even trying. In fact, I can actively attempt to push a woman away and still wind up in bed with her.”

      “That’s douchey, too, and it’s still making me feel fluttery. Which was probably also detrimentally honest of me.”

      He cupped her cheek and kissed her again, deeper this time, his tongue sliding along the seam of her lips. It was so strange, to kiss another man for the first time in a decade. For the first time ever. His lips felt so different. His technique made it like another activity entirely. She opened for him and the hot slide of his tongue against hers nearly buckled her knees.

      He cupped her cheeks, his hands hot, rough on her skin, his mouth insistent on hers. If she hadn’t been certain about going home with him before, she was now.

      She was making out with a stranger in a bar. And it was amazing.

      When they parted, they were both breathing hard.

      “Ready to go?” he asked.

      “Did I agree to go with you?”

      “I’m sure you did. Anyway, doesn’t your list say you need to go with me?”

      It did, in fact, say that leaving the bar and securing a hotel room or returning to a residence was the next step. “Yes, it does.”

      “Do you have a car?”

      “No, I got a cab so I could drink. Which…not drunk but a little bit dizzy, so probably a good thing I’m not driving.”

      “I’ll have my driver bring the car around.” He pulled out his phone and pushed a couple of buttons. “Ready.” He hung up again.

      “A driver?”

      “Yes.”

      “I thought you said you got fired from all your jobs.” Granted, his clothes spoke of money, and she’d noticed that from the first moment she’d seen him.

      “I’m surprised you didn’t notice the silver spoon in my mouth,” he said.

      “You’d think I would have noticed when we kissed.”

      “You would think.”

      A sleek black town car pulled up to the curb and Caleb opened the door for her, waiting. “So I just get into the car with you?”

      “Yes.”

      “Are you going to hurt me?”

      He arched a brow. “Only if you’re into that sort of thing.”

      Heat flooded her cheeks. “I’m not.”

      For some reason, just then, she pictured him wrapping her hair around his hand and giving it a hard tug. That was tip number twelve. She remembered it well because reading it had made her feel warm all over.

      Made her think that it was something she might really, really like.

      “Then no. I won’t.”

      “Good to know.”

      “Getting in the car with me, going home with me…I don’t take it for granted that means you’ll sleep with me. But you want me. So I don’t think you should say no.”

      “You’re so sure of yourself?”

      “Sure of this,” he said, tracing her lips with the tip of his finger. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel it.”

      “Okay,” she said, feeling a little fuzzy.

      “Are you going to make me beg?” he asked. “Because I just might. I could get down on my knees if you want. Though, I’d rather have you on yours.”

      Heat coursed through her veins. Yet another line that shouldn’t have turned her on, but did. But who the hell even cared what should turn her on? The fact was that he did.

      “I won’t do anything you don’t want,” he continued. “But if you ask…there isn’t a lot I won’t do.”

      She looked around and took a deep breath. “That might actually be nice for a change of pace,” she said, getting into the car and leaning back against the seat.

      “Will it?” he asked, his tone cautious, his movements slow as he got into the car. Like he was taking special care not to frighten her off.

      “Well, you know, battery-operated devices can only do so much.”

      “And they can’t talk dirty to you.”

      “No. But then, neither did my ex. The buzzing sound is actually an improvement over listening to him mouth breathe during the main event.”

      “Ouch,” Caleb said, chuckling. “My place, right?”

      Evie pictured her apartment. It was clean, and it was nice. Redecorated since Jason had moved out. But she still had the same mattress. Which she’d never really thought of. But now it bothered her and she wasn’t quite sure why.

      “Your place,” she said.

      She’d rather contend with the ghosts of Caleb’s hookups past than her own.

      “Take us home,” he said to his driver. “So, do you think you’ll be able to use this for your app?”

      She almost said what app? but stopped the words from spilling out just in time. “Oh…yeah. The app. This will be very helpful. The ten man-catching tips are verified…”

      “Sort of.”

      “Yeah, sort of.”

      “And now you can see how those sex tips work,” he said. “If you really want to.”

      “Some of them are pretty wild,” she said.

      He laughed. “I’m sure they aren’t going to shock me.”

      Well, that made one of them. She had a feeling she would be shocked a few times. She was shocked now. Or maybe in shock. She was numb everywhere except for her lips, which were burning from that kiss, and between her thighs.

      There was wet and aching. She wanted him so much it hurt. Wanted in a way she hadn’t since before she’d discovered how sex really was. Since before her body had become conditioned to expect the buildup to be better than the finale.

      “I might like it if you shocked me a little,” she said. She wasn’t sure if she’d said the words loud enough. It was hard to hear over the traffic. Even harder over the pounding of her heart.

      “How shocked do you want to be?” he asked, his voice husky, low.

      “Well, this would be one of those one night things, right?” she asked.

      “That’s all I do.”

      “Okay then. So if it’s one night—” she looked up, met his eyes in the darkened car, and playing hard to get was completely forgotten “—then you’d better make sure I never forget


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