Protect And Serve. Terri Reed
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blocking her from his view. Now if he could only block her from his thoughts as easily.
* * *
Gina stared at the door. Confusion swirled through her mind. For a moment, she’d seen something in Shane’s expression that had her heart fluttering and her pulse skittering. Interest. There’d been definite interest in his green eyes. Answering attraction flared within her. But then his gaze had shuttered and he’d retreated, leaving her wondering if she’d only imagined the look.
What did it matter? There was no sense in letting herself feel anything for him. For anyone. With her brother back in her life, she was intensely aware that she, too, had the propensity for evil. She shared Tim’s DNA. DNA that could be passed on.
She’d never have the family she longed for. What man in his right mind would want to saddle himself with her?
With sadness filling her heart, she filled the dogs’ bowls with water and placed them on the bathroom floor, and she sank down on the edge of the bed. She dropped her head into her hands.
What a nightmare her life had become. Tim was attempting to follow through on his threat to kill her. She didn’t understand what purpose Tim had for wanting her dead. It wouldn’t change the fact that he was wanted for murdering their father.
That he hadn’t succeeded in killing her so far was a blessing.
It hurt her heart to believe Veronica had died because of her. She had no doubt Tim had killed her boss. What other explanation could there be?
“Oh, Lord, please. I...” She didn’t know what to say or how to pray.
She wanted to ask God to stop her brother, yet the words wouldn’t come. They felt like rocks stuck in her throat. Would God even hear her? She was so used to being disappointed she was afraid to try anymore.
She lay back, wishing the oblivion of sleep would take her away, but her mind was buzzing with all that had transpired. The image of Veronica’s lifeless eyes staring at the sky tormented her. Worry for the missing puppy scraped her nerves raw.
“Please let us find Marco, Lord,” she whispered, finally finding some reserve of faith. She curled on her side. The sleeping puppies looked so peaceful. So vulnerable. They needed her now. She had to be strong for their sake.
Her mouth felt like cotton. She needed water. She rose to check the bathroom for a cup and found none. She left the bedroom to pad barefoot to the kitchen in search of a glass. As she passed the living room, she noticed Shane sitting on the couch, brushing Bella, who sat at his feet, obviously enjoying the attention to her coat.
Light from the gas fireplace played in the dark strands of Shane’s hair, making them appear more blue than black. Once again the pull of longing lurched at her and attraction flickered through her. He was so handsome and capable. And she appreciated the fact that he’d apologized for jumping to an assumption of her guilt before knowing all the facts. She figured it was probably hard for him to admit he was wrong. But he’d owned up to his mistake and that meant a lot to her.
Plus, she had enjoyed working with him during their training. Even if he was a bit impatient with the progress, he’d never once taken that impatience out on Bella or Gina. But Gina had seen the frustration in his eyes and the tension in his shoulders. She wasn’t sure what had driven him. Wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Getting too close to her protector wouldn’t be smart.
She paused, contemplating turning back. But then Shane’s gaze lifted and met hers.
He swiftly rose, the brush dropping to the floor. “Are you okay?”
The concern in his tone caused warmth to flow through her. Bella cocked her head and stared at Gina as if waiting for her answer, as well.
She smiled. “I’m fine. I just wanted a glass for water.”
He nodded and resumed his seat. “Glasses are in the cupboard to the right of the sink.”
Bella lay down at his feet, apparently reassured that all was well.
She filled a glass from the tap. She drank the cool liquid and then refilled the glass to take to her room. She halted on the threshold of the living room. “Why are you still up?”
“Someone has to stand guard. Just in case.”
A shiver of dread skated over her flesh. She felt bad that he was losing sleep to keep watch over her. However, she did appreciate his sacrifice. “Have you heard if anyone has reported finding the puppy?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m sure the chief will let us know if he turns up.”
Heaviness burdened her heart. Her hand tightened around the glass. “What if no one finds him? What if he’s hurt? Or worse?”
“Don’t go there. You can’t give up hope. We’ll find him.”
He sounded so confident. She wanted to believe him.
“Tell me about your brother,” Shane asked, surprising her. “You’re twins. Who’s older?”
She moved to sit on the edge of the recliner facing Shane. Warmth from the fire curled around her. “I am, by two minutes and forty-five seconds.”
“How long has Tim been...?” His voice faded with uncertainty.
She bit out, “It’s okay, you can say it. Mentally ill.”
“Right.” He sounded uncomfortable. Which was how most people reacted when they learned of Tim’s condition. “Mentally ill.”
Memories crashed over her, making her heart ache. “The professionals had a hard time diagnosing him. His symptoms were all over the place. No impulse control, inattentive, hyper. But then, as we got older, his mood swings became more erratic, violent even. Our mom was the only one who could handle him.” Her heart burned with grief. “She died when we were fifteen.”
“I’m sorry. How?”
She appreciated the sympathy in Shane’s voice, but she dared not look at him or the tears would break through. Instead she focused on the blue-gold flames in the fireplace. “A car accident. She hit a patch of black ice and slammed into a concrete barrier.”
Shane made a sympathetic noise in his throat. Bella shimmied closer and put a paw on her foot as if sensing her sorrow.
Gina leaned down to run her hand over Bella’s soft coat. “Tim took Mom’s death really hard.” Her heart squeezed tight and she straightened. “It was hard on all of us. I miss her every day. Dad did the best he could. But being a cop and a father of two teenagers was a lot for him to handle.”
“That’s right, you’d said your dad was a police officer. So is mine. And my grandfather was and both brothers are.”
“Ah.” That explained his drive. He had a family legacy to live up to and he was anxious to get going on his career.
“My dad would be lost without my mom,” he said softly.
“Yeah, Dad had a rough time of it. Especially as Tim’s behavior became more unpredictable. He hung around some bad influences and started down a very destructive, criminal path. Dad forced him to see a counselor, who passed Tim on to a psychiatrist. But Tim wasn’t interested in getting help. I can’t blame all of his behavior on his mental illness. He made his choices of his own free will.”
“And you? How are you?”
She could feel Shane’s gaze on her. More than curiosity drove his question. She understood. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last someone asked if she, too, had a mental illness. As soon as anyone learned of Tim’s disorder, she became suspect, since they were twins. “I saw the same psychiatrist, just in case.”
“And?”
“He said I didn’t display any of the markers. But no one can guarantee I won’t develop a mental disorder one day. It runs in my mother’s family.” A constant fear that hung