Dragon Haven. Робин Хобб
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‘What cause has he to be unfriendly to you?’
Alise sighed heavily. ‘Well, you know he hasn’t been well. Sedric usually has excellent health, so it would be hard for him to be ill at any time. But it is especially hard for him when he is in what he regards as very uncomfortable living circumstances. His bed is narrow and hard, he doesn’t like the smell of the boat or the river, the food either bores or disgusts him, his room is dim, there is no entertainment for him. He’s miserable. And it’s my fault that he’s here. He didn’t want to come to the Rain Wilds, let alone embark on this expedition.’
Another big lunker had come into the shallows, investigating the silt. For an instant, he seemed to see her. Thymara stood perfectly still. Then, as he began to sift the silt with his whiskers, she struck. She was so sure that she had hit him, it was a surprise to have the silt clear and find that her spear was simply dug into the mud. She pulled it out.
‘You missed again,’ the Bingtown woman said, but there was genuine sympathy in her voice. ‘I was so sure you got that one. But they’re very quick to react, aren’t they? I don’t think I could ever manage to spear one.’
‘Oh, it just takes practice,’ Thymara assured her, keeping her eyes on the water. No, it was gone, long gone. That one wouldn’t be back.
‘Have you been doing this since you were a child?’
‘Fishing? Not so much.’ Thymara continued her slow patrol along the water’s edge. Alise kept pace with her. She kept her voice soft. ‘I hunted in the canopy mainly. Birds and small mammals up there, some lizards and some pretty big snakes. Fishing isn’t that different from hunting birds when it comes to the stalking part.’
‘Do you think I could learn?’
Thymara halted in her tracks and turned round to face Alise. ‘Why would you want to?’ she asked in honest confusion.
Alise blushed and looked down. ‘It would be nice to be able to do something real. You’re so much younger than I am, but you’re so competent at taking care of yourself. I envy you that. Sometimes I watch you and the other keepers, and I feel so useless. Like a pampered little house cat watching hunting cats at work. Lately I’ve been trying to justify why I came along, why I dragged poor Sedric along with me. I said I was going to be collecting information about dragons. I said I’d be needed here to help people deal with the dragons. I told my husband and Sedric that this was a priceless opportunity for me to learn, and to share what I’d learn. I told the Elderling Malta that I knew about the lost city and could possibly help the dragons find their way back. But I’ve done none of those things.’
Her voice dropped on her last words and she sounded ashamed.
Thymara was silent. Was this grand Bingtown lady looking to her for comfort and reassurance? That seemed all wrong. Just when the silence would have become too obvious, she found her tongue. ‘You have helped with the dragons, I think. You were there when Captain Leftrin was helping us get the snakes off them, and before, when we were bandaging up the silver’s tail. I was surprised, I’ll admit. I thought you were too fine a lady for messy work like that—’
‘Fine a lady?’ Alise interrupted her. She laughed in an odd shrill way. ‘You think me a fine lady?’
‘Well … of course. Look at how you dress. And you are from Bingtown, and you are a scholar. You write scrolls about dragons and you know all about the Elderlings.’ She ran out of reasons and just stood looking at Alise. Even today, to walk on the beach at dawn, the woman had dressed her hair and pinned it up. She wore a hat to protect her hair and face from the sun. She wore a shirt and trousers, but they were clean and pressed. The tops of her boots were gleaming black even if fresh river mud clung to her feet. Thymara glanced at herself. The mud that caked her boots and laces was days, not hours, old. Her shirt and her trousers both bore the signs of hard use and little washing. And her hair? Without thinking, she reached up to touch her dark braids. When had she last washed her hair and smoothed it and rebraided it? When had she last washed her entire body?
‘I married a wealthy man. My family is, well, our fortune is humbler. I suppose that I am a lady, when I am in Bingtown, and perhaps it is a fine thing to be. But here, well, here in the Rain Wilds I’ve begun to see myself a bit differently. To wish for different things than I did before.’ Her voice died away. Then she said suddenly, ‘If you wanted, Thymara, you could come to my cabin this evening. I could show you a different way to do your hair. And you’d have some privacy if you wished to take a bath, even if the tub is scarcely big enough to stand in.’
‘I know how to wash myself!’ Thymara retorted, stung.
‘I’m sorry,’ Alise said immediately. Her cheeks had gone very red. She blushed more scarlet than anyone Thymara had ever known. ‘My words were not … I didn’t express what I was trying to say. I saw you look at yourself, and thought how selfish I’ve been, to have privacy to bathe and dress while you and Sylve and Jerd have had to live rough and in the open among the boys and men. I didn’t mean—’
‘I know.’ Were they the hardest words Thymara had ever had to say? Probably not, but they were hard enough. She didn’t meet Alise’s eyes. She forced out other words. ‘I know you meant it kindly. My father often told me that I take offence too easily. That not everyone wants to insult me.’ Her throat was getting smaller and tighter. The pain of unsheddable tears was building at the inner corners of her eyes. From forcing words, suddenly she couldn’t stop them. ‘I don’t expect people to like me or be nice to me. It’s the opposite. I expect—’
‘You don’t have to explain,’ Alise said suddenly. ‘We’re more alike than you think we are.’ She gave a shaky laugh. ‘Sometimes, do you find reasons to disdain people you haven’t met yet, just so you can dislike them before they dislike you?’
‘Well of course,’ Thymara admitted, and the laughter they shared had a brittle edge. A bird flew up from the river’s edge, startling them both, and then their laughter became more natural, ending as they both drew breath.
Alise wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. ‘I wonder if this is what Sintara wanted me to learn from you. She strongly suggested this morning that I seek you out. Do you think she wanted us to discover that we are not so different?’ The woman’s voice was warm when she spoke of the dragon, but a chill went up Thymara’s back at her words.
‘No,’ she said quietly. She tried to form her thought carefully, so as not to hurt Alise’s feelings. She wasn’t sure, just yet, if she wanted to be as friendly as the Bingtown woman seemed inclined to be, but she didn’t want to put her on her guard again. ‘No, I think Sintara was manipulating you, well, us. A couple of days ago, she pushed me to do something, and well, it didn’t turn out nicely at all.’ She glanced at Alise, fearing what she’d see, but the Bingtown woman looked thoughtful, not affronted. ‘I think she may be trying to see just how much power she has over us. I’ve felt her glamour. Have you?’
‘Of course. It’s a part of her. I don’t know if a dragon can completely control the effect she has on humans. It’s her nature. Just as a human dominates a pet dog.’
‘I’m not her pet,’ Thymara retorted. Fear sharpened her words. Did Sintara dominate her more than she realized?
‘No. You’re not, and neither am I. Though I suspect she considers me more her pet than anything else. I think she respects you, because you can hunt. But she has told me, more than once, that I fail to assert myself as a female. I’m not sure why, but I think I disappoint her.’
‘She pushed me to go hunting his morning. I told her I preferred to fish.’
‘She told me to follow you when you hunted. I saw you here on the riverbank.’
Thymara was quiet. She lifted her fish spear again and walked slowly along the river’s edge, thinking. Was it betrayal? Then she spoke. ‘I know what she wanted you to see. The same thing I saw. I think she wanted you to know that Jerd and Greft have been mating.’
She waited for a response. When none came, she looked back at Alise. The Bingtown