Till The World Ends: Dawn of Eden / Thistle & Thorne / Sun Storm. Julie Kagawa
Читать онлайн книгу.
we did, what happened at that lab, there’s no excuse. We unleashed something that could destroy everything. And if I...” He paused, closing his eyes. “If I deserve to die for that, if killing me will make things right for you, then...do it.” Opening his eyes, he met my gaze, sorrowful but unafraid. “If this will bring you peace,” he rasped, “for Maggie and Jenna and everyone, then do what you have to. No one will fault you for pulling that trigger.”
My arms shook, and the gun was cold in my hands, the curved edge of the metal trigger pressing into my skin. It would be so easy, I realized—a quick pull, barely a motion in itself. I gazed down the barrel at the body in the rain, my throat and chest tight, my mind spinning. No one would hear the gunshot this far from the city. And even if they did, no one would care.
Ben stood there, unmoving, the rain falling lightly around his shoulders, waiting to see if I would kill him.
God, Kylie, what are you doing? You’re really going to murder this man in cold blood? Horror, swift and abrupt, lanced through me. I was a doctor, sworn to save lives, regardless of circumstances or personal feelings. Ben had saved my life. If he hadn’t been there when those things attacked, I would be a pile of blood and bones on the clinic floor. Just like Maggie and Jenna.
And then, all the fear, frustration, sorrow and guilt of the past three days rose up like a black wave and came crashing down. Tears blinded me, my throat closed up and the world went blurry. The gun dropped from my limp grasp, falling into the mud, as, to my horror, I started to cry.
Strong arms wrapped around me a moment later, pulling me to a broad chest. For a heartbeat, anger flashed, but it was immediately drowned by everything else. I had failed. I had lost everything, not only the patients whom I had sworn to save, but my family, my friends and, very nearly, my humanity. And now, the world was filled with monsters and things I didn’t understand, I had nearly been eaten by my dead patients and I had nowhere to go, nowhere left that was familiar. I leaned into Ben and sobbed, ugly, gasping breaths that blotched my face and left the front of his shirt stained with tears.
Ben didn’t say anything, just held me as I cried myself out, the rain falling around us. My back and shoulders were cold and damp, but my arms, folded to his body, and the side of my face where his cheek pressed against mine, were very warm. Eventually, the tears stopped and my breathing became normal again, but he didn’t let me go. One arm was wound across the small of my back, the other rested near my shoulders, holding me to him. His head was bowed, and I could feel rough stubble against my cheek.
My arms, trapped against his chest and stomach, began to wind around his waist, to pull him to me as well, but I stopped myself. No, I thought, as my senses finally returned. Just because he saved you, do not excuse this man for what he has done. Jenna and Maggie are dead. If he’d never come to your clinic, they would still be alive.
I stiffened, and Ben apparently sensed the change, for he let me go. I stepped back to compose myself, wiping my face, pulling my hair back, deliberately not looking at the man beside me. Because if I glanced up and met those haunted, soulful brown eyes, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from reaching for him again.
The shotgun still lay in the mud between us, and Ben casually reached down for it, as if it had simply fallen and hadn’t been aimed at his chest a few minutes earlier. I looked at the weapon and shuddered, appalled at myself, what I had almost done.
“What now?” I whispered, rubbing my arms as the rain started to come down hard again. Ben hefted the shotgun to one shoulder, staring out into the darkness.
“I’m going home,” he said without looking back. “Back to the farm. It’s been...too long since I’ve seen everyone. If they’re still there.” He paused, then added, very softly, “You’re welcome to come with me. If you want.”
I nodded, feeling dazed. “Thanks. I...I think I will. Come with you, I mean.” He finally glanced back, eyebrows raised in surprise. I shrugged, though I was a little surprised at myself, as well. “Might as well. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
He didn’t say anything to that, and we walked back to the truck in silence. Ben pulled open the passenger door, and I slid inside, blinking as he handed me the shotgun as if nothing had happened. Shivering, I placed it on the dashboard and watched Ben use a rubber tube to siphon fuel from one of the abandoned cars into a gas can. It was a slow, tedious process, but it couldn’t be helped. Many of the everyday conveniences—like ATMs, smart phones and gas pumps—were no longer working since the plague and the collapse of society. There was no one left to keep the grids going, no one to man the towers and the internet servers. It was a wake-up call for everyone, to realize how much we relied on things like electricity, running water and easy communication, and how crippling it was to go without.
When he was done, Ben slid into the driver’s seat, closed the door, and sat there a moment, staring out the glass.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asked in a near whisper, glancing at the weapon on the dashboard. “I won’t force you to come with me. I can drop you off anywhere between here and home.”
“No.” I gave my head a shake. “Like I said, I have nowhere to go. And I don’t want to be by myself right now, not with what’s happening out there. Not if those things could be spreading across the country like the plague.” Ben looked away, hunching his shoulders, and I wasn’t sorry. “I’ll figure out what to do next when we get there. If your family doesn’t mind me hanging around...”
“They won’t. Mom, especially. She’ll be thrilled I finally brought home a girl.”
That tiny bit of humor, forced as it was, finally coaxed a smile from me. I settled back against the leather seat and pulled down the seat belt, clicking it into place. “Then let’s not keep them waiting.”
Ben nodded. Turning the key in the ignition, he eased the truck down the ramp and onto the empty road, and we roared off toward our destination.
Chapter Six
We drove through the night, down a road that was desolate and empty, snaking through the darkness. No cars passed us, no headlights pierced the blackness but our own. Ben and I didn’t speak much, just watched the quiet, primitive world scroll by through the glass. Out here, far from cities and towns and dimly lit suburbs, it truly felt as if we were the only humans left alive. The last two people on earth.
I dozed against the window, and when I opened my eyes again, Ben was pulling into the parking lot of a small motel and shutting off the ignition. The streetlamps surrounding the lot were dead and dark but, oddly enough, a Vacancy sign flickered erratically in the window of the office.
“We’re stopping?”
“Just for a bit.” Ben opened the door, and a gust of rain-scented air dispersed my drowsiness a little. “It’s almost dawn. I need a couple hours of sleep, at least, or I’m going to drive us off the road. This looks safe enough.”
It might’ve looked safe enough, but he snatched the gun off the dashboard and handed me a flashlight before walking up to the office door. I followed closely, peering over my shoulder, shining the beam into windows and dark corners. We stepped up to the porch, and my heart pounded, imagining gaunt, pale faces peering through the windows. But they remained dark and empty.
After several moments of pounding on the office door and calling “Hello?” into the darkened interior, Ben raised the shotgun and drove the butt into the glass above the door, shattering it. Ducking inside, he emerged seconds later with a key on a wooden peg, jingling it with weary triumph. I trailed him down the walkway to a battered green door with a brass 14B on the front and watched as he unlocked the door and pushed it back. It creaked open slowly, revealing a small room with an old TV, a hideous pink-and-green armchair and a single bed.
“Damn,” I heard him mutter, and he glanced over his shoulder at me. “Sorry, I was hoping to get one with double beds. I’ll see if they have the keys to another room—”
“There’s no need.” Bringing up the flashlight, I brushed