Just The Way You Are. Lynsey James
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is,’ he continued, seemingly having read my mind, ‘I can’t just be seen with any old heifer. My agency’s looking to get me into acting and presenting so who I’m seen with is everything. Don’t get me wrong love, you seem nice enough although your face is quite plain and you could be doing with losing about a stone. A big bowl of pasta isn’t going to do you any favours; I’d have gone for a salad if I were you.’
I sat opposite him, open-mouthed and scarcely able to believe what I’d heard. He’d called me ugly and fat and critiqued my food choices; he’d only known me five minutes! Cheeky bastard.
‘Goodbye Greg.’ I calmly got up and walked away from the table as fast as I could.
Just before we wound up for the day, Paddy and Miranda called a surprise editorial meeting. As usual, they’d sprung it on us on a Friday evening, when everybody was too busy thinking about the weekend ahead to contribute good ideas These meetings almost never happened at the start of the week when people were refreshed and full of energy.
‘Right everybody, I know it’s only October but we need to start planning for our Valentine’s Day issue right now. Our competitors Mirage and Glitter will already have started and you can bet your life they’ll have something big planned to shift issues. It might be an exclusive interview with a big celebrity or a huge features project but whatever it is, we need to do something bigger and better. Mirage beat us in the circulation figures last year and we can’t let the same thing happen again. I want us to pull something spectacular out of the bag. I know it’s quite soon to be thinking about it but does anyone have any ideas?’
Maddie’s hand shot straight up in the air. ‘We could compile a list of the city’s top Valentine’s date spots.’
How original, I said to myself, our competitors would never think of that. Then again, I didn’t exactly have a list of amazing ideas myself.
‘That’s good Maddie, but I want you all to think big. Think amazing, think of something that’ll really pull the readers in.’ Paddy sat forward and rubbed his hands together, waiting in anticipation for one of us to produce the gold nugget that would blow Mirage and Glitter out of the water.
A sketchy idea formed at the back of my mind but I wasn’t sure it was any good. Then again, I reasoned, it couldn’t be any worse than Maddie’s one.
‘Um…’ I tentatively raised my hand. ‘What about doing a Valentine’s love story with a twist? M-Maybe the couple met or got together in unusual circumstances? We could even gather two or three together and make a feature out of them.’
Miranda rolled her eyes and shook her head. ‘I don’t really think the readers want any twists on Valentine’s Day stories. We should stick with traditional boy-meets-girl tales, the ones that everybody knows and loves.’
She shot a sideways glance at Paddy, waiting for him to agree with her like he usually did. However, his deep brown eyes were still firmly fixed on me.
‘You know, that’s not a bad idea Ava. Mirage and Glitter will probably stick with the old tried-and-tested formula but I think we should try something different! In fact Ava and Maddie, I’d like you both to research and write unusual Valentine’s Day stories for me. You girls both have talent and I think you could produce some fun, off-the-wall pieces for us. Why don’t we make it a competition? I’ll choose my favourite article and the winner will get a spot on the Valentine’s issue cover, which as usual will be unveiled at the Kiss and Tell Ball.’
My jaw dropped slightly but I managed to correct myself before Paddy or Miranda saw. The Kiss and Tell Ball was huge. It wasn’t your run-of-the-mill office party with tired-looking balloon displays, paper cups filled with weak beer and someone photocopying their bum. The Kiss and Tell Ball had often been described as “what happens when Disney meets prom night”. Laid on by Sleek’s publishers every January, it was an opulent, grand occasion that called for the sparkliest dresses, highest heels and falsest smiles for when sleazy Mr Lloyd, the head of the publishing group, came round. The Valentine’s cover was always unveiled there, since it was our biggest-selling issue. To think that my article had a chance to be on the front was mind-boggling.
We discussed a few more ideas – Valentine’s fashion, top present ideas, a special Out and About feature – then the meeting dispersed. As I began to walk back to my desk, Paddy called me over to him.
‘Ava, could I see you in my office for a second?’ he asked.
I nodded and followed him to his office at the back of the building. It was a tiny, cramped room with views over the car park and the commercial units opposite.
‘Take a seat!’ he boomed in his rich deep voice. He gestured to a scabby-looking chair with frayed upholstery that looked like it might fall apart if anyone sat on it.
Reluctantly, I sat down while Paddy took a seat on his huge black executive chair.
‘Now I know you really wanted the dating columnist job,’ he said. ‘But obviously your pitch didn’t go quite as planned…’
‘No,’ I agreed. ‘It definitely didn’t.’ I tried hard to stop my cheeks from flushing crimson but failed miserably.
‘Well I’ve had a chat with Miranda and we’ve agreed that Maddie is the best person for the job. However, we’ve also come up with an exciting new role for you.’ He paused and quickly dialled her extension number, murmured for a moment then hung up. ‘She’ll be through in a second to tell you all about it.’
Moments later, she strode into the office with a look of pure glee plastered to her face.
‘Ava, we want you to be our new wedding reporter!’ she cheerfully announced.
Kill me, I thought, just kill me now.
A text from Max was all it took for me not to cancel The Dog and Duck after work that night. After the day I’d had, I decided I’d more than earned a few glasses (bottles) of wine.
The Dog and Duck was an amazing little pub carved into the corner of a street in central Manchester. It was a slice of olde-worlde heaven with a large roaring fire and rustic oak beams; a sharp contrast to the ultra-trendy bars dotted around the city centre. My two best friends and I had met there various times during our decades of friendship. Exam results, crushes, break-ups and everything in between had been discussed within its cosy brown walls.
It was there, less than fifteen minutes later, that I found Gwen, Max and Amira waiting for me.
‘How’d it go today then, Munchkin?’ Max asked, getting up to greet me with a pat on the back. ‘Are you Sleek’s next top dating columnist?’
‘I’m afraid not,’ I answered. ‘I… er… may or may not have thrown up before I could do my pitch. Stupid fear of public speaking!’
‘Oh Munchkin.’ Max’s voice was low and sad. ‘Never mind, I’m sure they’ve got an amazing job lined up for you.’
He enveloped me in one of his signature bear hugs. Out the corner of my eye, I was sure I saw Amira’s shoulders tense as she sat in the cramped little booth. When I looked over at her, she mustered a polite smile then returned to her drink.
‘What’s this I hear about amazing jobs?’ Gwen tottered over in her ridiculously high heels and eyed me hopefully.
‘Well I didn’t get the job I went for,’ I said as we walked to the booth. ‘But never mind eh, I don’t fancy dwelling on it.’
‘Who did?’ Gwen asked. Obviously me saying I didn’t want to dwell on it had completely passed her by.
‘Maddie McQueen, who’d you think?’ I replied with a shrug. that I hoped would mask how I truly felt.
‘No flipping way! What does she know