A Baby by Christmas. Linda Warren
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“Don’t you have an office you should be in?”
“Sure do.” Beau stood. “If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”
“I won’t.”
Beau frowned. “Why do you have to be so hard and unforgiving?”
“That’s just me” was the quick answer.
“No, it isn’t. It’s just a front to hide your emotions.” Beau took a breath. “For God’s sakes, why can’t you talk to her?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why not? She’s your mother.”
“Not anymore.”
“Sometimes, Jake, you make me so angry.”
“Close the door on your way out,” Jake said, then went back to his paperwork.
“One of these days, Jake, you’re going to need someone, and I hope to God that person’s not as hard as you are.”
Jake tried to shut out Beau’s words, but he couldn’t. All he could remember was a ten-year-old boy who cried himself to sleep wanting his mother—a mother who’d deserted him without a second thought. That might be hard for Beau to understand, but he wasn’t the one left behind. Jake refused to see Althea under any condition; that was a vow he’d made to himself when she walked out of his life—the day she abandoned him to start a new life with Andrew Wellman. That kind of betrayal he couldn’t forgive and neither could his father. A heartbroken man, Joe McCain died way before his time.
Jake had never met his half brother, Caleb, the child of Althea and Andrew Wellman, nor did he want to. Caleb was now almost twenty-eight, but Jake still had no desire for any type of relationship. He realized that was a flaw in his nature, but he couldn’t get around it. The pain from the past was always with him, and even though Caleb had nothing to do with it, he represented part of that betrayal.
Jake reached for his hat. If he had a son, he’d never be able to walk away from him. He’d never do to a child what his mother had done to him—even if it meant losing Elise.
THAT EVENING JAKE DROVE TO Elise’s house, unable to stay away any longer. Her car was in the garage, so he knew she was home. At the door he started to pull off his boots, then changed his mind. He wasn’t doing that anymore. He wondered if he should knock but decided against that, too. He used his key, as always.
Elise was sitting on the bed staring at Derek’s picture but thinking about Jake. She’d thought about calling him all day but wanted him to make the first move. He was the one who’d created the turmoil in their lives, so he had to make it right. She heard the back door open and jumped to her feet. It had to be Jake. She glanced at herself in the mirror and straightened her blue suit.
“Elise,” she heard him call.
She slowly made her way to the living room. Jake was standing in the middle of the room with his hat in his hand. He wore his customary jeans, boots and cotton shirt and he looked so handsome. Just seeing him made her heart beat a little faster. Now he’d tell her that the boy wasn’t his and everything would be okay. They’d have their baby as planned.
“Hi,” he said softly.
She noticed him looking at her hair, which was pinned up. She wore it like that to work. She thought it gave her an added edge of maturity, but Elise knew Jake liked her hair down—he enjoyed taking it down.
“Hi,” she replied, her heart beating so fast now she could barely breathe. They had to resolve this situation; that was all she could think.
“We have to talk,” he said.
“Yes.” She sat on the sofa and he took a chair.
“I had the test done this morning,” he told her, placing his hat on the end table.
“But you still don’t have the results?”
“No,” he admitted. “But I need to tell you how I feel.”
Elise leaned back and grabbed a decorative pillow for support.
“My mother walked away from me when I was ten years old. I would never do that to a child. If the boy is mine, I have to take responsibility.”
God, she knew that. She knew Jake. This nightmare was not over.
“What about our plans for a baby?” She had to have an answer to that question. It had been with her day and night.
Jake drew a deep breath. “We have to wait for the test results before we can go any further.”
“Our lives have changed,” she had to say. “We have this tension that wasn’t there before.”
“Yes, and I apologize for that, but this has been a big shock.”
“I’m having a hard time dealing with it.”
“I can see that.”
“So where do we go from here?”
Jake swallowed. “If the boy is mine, you’ll have to ask yourself a big question. Can you raise another woman’s child?”
Another woman’s child.
Suddenly she felt a deadweight in her arms and fear clogged her throat, her senses, her thinking. How did she explain to him what she was feeling? She had a hard time understanding it herself.
Jake was taking in the expression on her face, looking like he’d been punched in the chest. He swallowed again. “I suppose the DNA test will decide our future.”
She stared at him. “Have you considered that I might be pregnant?”
“Yes,” he said, and looked away. “We’ll have to wait about that, too. So I’ll stay at the farm until this is resolved. It’ll give us the time we need.”
“Yes,” she muttered, squeezing the pillow so tight her fingers were numb.
He walked over and kissed her cheek. She felt cold and didn’t respond to his touch. How could she? He straightened and picked up his hat.
“I’ll call when I get the results.” Then he walked out of the room.
ELISE’S HAND WENT to her cheek. She could still smell his aftershave. She closed her eyes and her body started to tremble. Placing both hands over her stomach, she prayed a baby was growing inside her. If she had Jake’s baby, he’d come back. They would be together, but that didn’t make the other problem disappear. It only made things worse. God, she was losing her mind, just like her mother and sister, Judith, had said. And she was losing Jake.
She wiped a tear away and tried to understand what she was feeling. A little girl’s blue face swam before her eyes and that old fear gripped her, just as if it were yesterday. Then the memories came flooding back.
Her mother was getting ready for a party at the university. She was going with her friends, the Abbotts. Even though Elise’s father had passed away, her mother still had close ties to the university.
Mae Abbott called at the last minute in a panic because her baby-sitter had canceled. Elise’s mother had volunteered her for the job.
Elise was fifteen and didn’t know a thing about babies, but her mother gave her a list of instructions and told her it would be easy. Tammy was eleven months old and adorable and Mrs. Abbott had brought a playpen full of toys to occupy her. Elise fed her, changed her diaper and let her play while Elise lay on the floor reading. Engrossed in her novel she forgot about Tammy, then she heard her gagging. Elise jumped up to see what was wrong.
Tammy’s face was red and tears rolled from her eyes as she continued to gag. Elise picked her up and patted her back, but it didn’t work. Tammy turned blue and stopped breathing. Elise was horrified and didn’t know what to do. She shook the baby, turned her upside down, but nothing worked. Tammy was limp and unresponsive.