The Texan's Christmas. Linda Warren
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woman in sight. I feel the pain of his death every day. I feel the pain of your betrayal every day. So don’t talk to me about anger because I’d just as soon shoot you, you low-down bastard.”
She jumped into her truck and tore out of the parking lot, spewing gravel across his chest.
Oh, my God! His knees gave way and he sank into the rocks as a pain like he’d never known before slashed through him. The spotlight was clearly on him and his sins, but it wasn’t the one in the parking lot. It was from above, exposing the guilt that had haunted him for years.
They’d had a child. A son.
He’d let Lucky down and, God help him, he’d let their baby down.
How did he live with that?
CHAPTER FOUR
LUCKY DROVE STEADILY HOME, breathing heavily.
A tear slipped from her eye and she slapped it away.
She wouldn’t cry.
Kid Hardin would not make her cry.
Lights flashed behind her and she pulled over. She knew it was Travis because she’d called him about the cowboys before she’d gone outside to confront them. Turning off the engine, she wiped her face with the back of her hands. Why was it wet? She wasn’t crying.
Drawing a deep breath, she got out of the pickup. The moon was bright and she could see Travis strolling toward her.
“There’s a man kneeling in the gravel back there. What happened?”
“The cowboys were waiting for me. They flirted and drank most of the evening. No big amounts of cash, though. I gave you time and then I went to my truck. They were there, but Kid Hardin interrupted.”
“Of the oil Hardins?”
“Yes.” Her stomach clenched.
“What was he doing there? Is he hurt?”
“I supposed he came to see me. I didn’t know he was there until Clyde grabbed my arm and they got into a fight.”
She could feel his eyes boring into her. “There’s a lot more to this story than you’re telling me.”
“Kid and I have a past, but he won’t be coming back.”
There was silence for a moment and the warmth of the night seemed to calm her shattered nerves.
“I knew there was someone,” he said, startling her, “but I sense you didn’t want to talk about it.”
“No.” That was the last thing she wanted. Kid was out of her life for good now.
“I’m worried about you. You’re taking risks that you shouldn’t. You’re not ever to confront the criminals, especially alone.”
“I knew you were on the way.”
“That’s not the point. It’s not worth you getting hurt.”
“Okay, I screwed up, but I didn’t want them coming back inside. They were too drunk to drive so I called Walker, the constable, and he notified the highway patrol. They’re probably being arrested as we speak. There might be some evidence in their truck.”
“I’ll follow up on it. Your safety is my main concern and I don’t want a repeat of what happened tonight.”
“Okay, Travis, I get the message.”
He sighed. “Lucky, you’re so consumed with your job that it worries me. Do you even have a private life?”
“Of course.” She was lying. She didn’t even know what a private life was anymore.
“Lucky.”
By the soft tone of his voice she knew the conversation was headed in a personal direction—one she wasn’t ready for and she didn’t know if she would ever be. Once burned, a lifetime shy was her motto.
“I better check on my dad. He won’t go to bed until I’m home.”
“I’ll see if Hardin is hurt.” He moved toward his truck. “Talk to you in the morning.”
She slipped into her pickup and wondered what was wrong with her. Travis was a good man and with just some encouragement from her they could have a relationship. But something held her back. Maybe the past had crippled her emotionally and she wasn’t ever going to love like that again.
When she went through the back door of the house, she heard the TV. Her dad was asleep in his chair, snoring. Picking up the remote control, she turned it off. He immediately woke up.
“Lucky, girl, you’re late.”
“Busy night.” She sank down by his chair and laid her head on the arm.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting up.
“I told Kid about our son tonight.”
“Holy cow, girl, why did you go and do that? You said you never would.”
“I don’t know. He kept asking why I was so angry and the words just came spewing out like all this venom I had inside me.” She took a breath. “I saw the hurt on his face and the pain in his eyes and I wanted to feel some kind of victory. But I didn’t. Where’s my victory, Dad? I wanted to shatter his big ego, but all I felt was his agony.”
“Oh, Lucky. Sometimes we think we want something and we really don’t. It’s just human nature.”
Unable to stop them, tears flowed from her eyes. “I hurt him, Dad, and I feel more empty now than ever.”
“Shh.” He stroked her hair. “It will be different tomorrow.”
“I don’t think so.” She was always going to see that tortured look in Kid’s eyes. Ollie whined and she wrapped her arms around the dog. “I’ve asked myself a million times why I didn’t come home when I found out I was pregnant. Why did the town’s opinion matter so much to me? If I’d been stronger, I’d have my son today.”
“That’s my fault. When you kept making excuses not to come home, I should have gone to Austin to see you. But I thought you were building a new life, getting over that Hardin boy. I never dreamed you weren’t in school and going through such turmoil on your own. It’s my fault for not keeping tabs on you.”
“No, Dad, what happened is all because of me and my insecurities and my self-doubts.”
“I should have choked the life out of old lady Farley and Mrs. Axelwood a long time ago. Nothing but vicious gossipers with narrow minds.”
It wasn’t their fault, either. All of it lay squarely on her shoulders. She’d stood up to three drunken cowboys tonight. Why hadn’t she had that strength years ago? She’d been weak, but now she was strong and no one was going to take her pride again. Not even Kid.
Her father continued to stroke her hair. “You know Kid will be back.”
“Why?”
“Remember when he was about fourteen, Chuck told him he couldn’t come over here on your birthday ’cause it was a school night? After Chuck and Carol went to bed, he cranked up the tractor and came anyway.”
“Yeah. He brought me flowers from his mother’s garden.”
“Damn fool woke us up.”
“Only Kid does things like that,” she murmured.
“Chuck grounded him for a month.”
“I never liked Chuck Hardin.” When she was a teenager, she’d seen the man with more than one woman at The Beer Joint, about a mile from where he lived with his wife. She never understood how Chuck could do that.
“Did you ever tell Kid what you knew?”
“No. I couldn’t. He looked up