The Chosen Child. Brenda Mott
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today being his day off.
“You’ll call if you need me?” Jana’s voice drew her from her thoughts.
“Of course.” Nikki lifted her hand in a wave. “Thanks again.”
“You bet.”
Inside, she found Cody in the kitchen. He’d made a sandwich, but had left it half-eaten. She sat at the table near his elbow. “What’s happening to us?”
“I don’t know,” he said quietly.
Silence gripped the room. “We need to find a way to get past this,” Nikki said. “How can we do that if you’re not willing to try?”
There were sorrow and hurt in the look he gave her. “I am trying, Nikki. But you don’t seem to understand that. You think going to town once a week to spill our guts to some stranger is going to make everything right. But it won’t.”
“And neither will your obsession with finding the drunk driver.” Nikki struggled to contain her temper. “Cody, I want to see justice for Anna, too. I want the jerk who ruined our lives to pay.” She leaned toward him, and laid her hand on his wrist. “But if you let revenge consume you, we’ll never be able to move on with our lives.”
He pulled away from her and stood. Raking his hands through his dark hair, he began to pace. “I’m a cop. It’s my duty to uphold the law.”
“You’re too close. Let the Highway Patrol and the sheriff handle this.”
Cody stopped pacing. “You do what you need to do to cope with Anna’s death. Why can’t you leave me to do what I need to?”
She leaned back in her chair. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your hair. Your clothes.” He shook his head. “I’ve known you since high school, and this—” he indicated her bright pink jeans, lacy blouse and pink cowboy boots “—is not you.”
Stung, Nikki’s jaw dropped. “I thought you liked my new look.” She fiddled with a strand of her recently dyed-blond, shoulder-length cut. “And what’s wrong with my clothes?”
“Nothing is wrong with the clothes, Nikki.” Heaving a sigh, Cody sat down again and stared at her. “They’re just not you. The colors, your makeup, none of it is you. Even Regina noticed the changes.”
“Yes, but she said they were good changes.” Defensively, Nikki folded her arms, suddenly conscious of her extra weight. She’d eaten her way through her depression, until she’d gone from the severe weight-loss she’d suffered since Anna’s death, to being ten pounds past her normal body size. But food gave her comfort. Something she hadn’t found anyplace else lately.
“Exactly my point.” Cody looked at her as if she were dense. “You cope your way, now let me cope in mine.”
“So, what you’re saying is that once you’ve tracked down the hit-and-run driver and put him away, things will be A-OK again? Everything will just go back to normal?”
“You know that’s not what I mean.” He pursed his lips and shook his head. “And women say men don’t listen.”
“I’m listening, Cody. You’re the one who’s not.” Tears burned her eyes, and her throat tightened as she struggled not to cry. “I’ve found a healthy outlet for my feelings. Revenge isn’t healthy. You’ve got to find a better way than that to move past our little girl’s death. Regina can help us get back on track and work through this together.”
“I’m not so sure that’s the answer.” The look in his eyes chilled her.
“What are you saying?”
He was silent a moment before he answered. “I’ve been thinking about moving in with Jordan for a while. I need some time and space.”
Fear gripped her. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yes,” he said. “I do.”
Nikki fought to control her panic. She’d never been one to let emotions overrule good judgment. “Please don’t.”
“I’m not giving up, I just…” He let the sentence trail away. A fly landed on his discarded sandwich and he flicked it away, scowling. “I’m just taking a step back, Nikki. I think it’s best.”
Best. Not the word she’d use to describe what he proposed. “Please, Cody, just…wait.” God, if he moved out there might be no turning back.
“Wait for what?”
For us. For whatever it took to stop this hell they’d lived in for the past four months. She took a deep breath. “When I talked to Amanda on the phone last week, she asked me to come to Tennessee for a visit.” The accident had left Amanda unable to cope with her job as an RN in the maternity ward of the local hospital, or with anything else for that matter, including the tension between the three of them. She’d fled Colorado and now lived in the hills of Tennessee, in the cabin where their granny had taken care of them for the better part of their childhood. “I’ve been thinking I might take her up on her offer. I had planned to talk to you about it today, after our session with Regina.”
Now it was Cody’s turn to look apprehensive. “You’re going to fly out there?”
She shook her head. “Drive.”
His eyes widened. “Nikki, it’s fifteen hundred miles to Boone’s Crossing.”
“I know. That’s why I want to drive. It’ll give me some time to think.” She stared at the tabletop. “If I leave in the morning, I can be there by Saturday. I don’t want Amanda to face Sunday by herself.” She felt his gaze on her, and out of the corner of her eye, recognized the set of his jaw.
Sunday, June twentieth, would’ve been Amanda’s due date.
Cody would talk about little else besides his need for revenge. He had yet to open up and talk to her about their baby girl.
“Amanda’s been through hell,” he said quietly. “And you need to be with her, too.”
It hurt Nikki to admit that she couldn’t let herself lean on him. She nodded. “And when I come back, you and I can decide what our next step should be.”
“How long will you be gone?”
Her job as a kindergarten teacher left her with the summer months off, school having let out last month, the end of May. “I don’t know. Two weeks, maybe three?”
Cody’s jaw muscles tightened and she knew he wasn’t happy with the idea. “I really hate for you to be out on the highway alone like that. Especially after…” His words trailed away, but she knew what he’d been about to say.
After what had happened to Amanda.
“I’ll be fine, Cody. I’ll take my cell phone and check in with you.”
“Sounds like your mind’s made up.”
“It is.” She hadn’t fully realized it until now. But maybe this was best. Time apart might give them both a chance to cool down. Maybe when she got back home, Cody would be more willing to talk.
And less willing to simply give up and move out.
“All right.” Cody turned his hands palm up in a gesture of resignation.
“Will you wait until I get back to discuss moving in with Jordan?” Her heart raced, and she held her breath.
He nodded. “Yeah, I’ll wait.”
“Okay then.” She got up from the table. “Guess I’d better start packing.”
Nikki headed for the bedroom, half hoping Cody would call out for her not to go. To instead stay with him.
But he said nothing as she left the room.
THE DRONE of the dispatcher’s radio