The Gift of a Child. Laura Abbot
Читать онлайн книгу.
Rose’s eyes were drooping when she was brought to awareness by the sound of horses approaching. A jolt of fear wound through her as she remembered what Papa had said about the men’s meeting the night before. Beside her, Ezra sat up straight and, shading his eyes, squinted at the road ahead. Finally he sighed in relief. “It’s Sophie and Seth.”
Sure enough, racing toward them were the brother and sister, initially oblivious to the buggy. Then Seth wheeled his horse and held up his hand to halt Sophie. The pair trotted slowly toward the buggy. “Sorry for alarming you,” Seth said, doffing his hat.
Sophie grinned. “Me, too. It’s just as well, though, because Seth was winning our race.” She swatted her hat at her brother.
Rose studied Sophie, confident and comfortable in her unconventional riding skirt and dust-covered boots. Watching the two riders so at ease with one another, Rose had greater appreciation for Seth’s concern about Sophie’s ultimate departure from the ranch.
The cessation of buggy movement roused Alf. “Sett!” He stood up and held out his arms.
“Ready for a horseback ride, Alf?” Seth spurred his horse to the side of the buggy and glanced quizzically at Rose, as if asking for permission. She nodded.
Seth plucked Alf out of the buggy and settled the boy in front of him. “Horse! Horse!” Alf waved delightedly to Ezra and Rose. “Brown, white,” he crowed. He patted Seth’s leg and then stroked the horse’s neck. “Big. Sett big. Horse big.”
Unaccountably, Rose blinked back tears. Her boy looked so happy, and Seth held him as if he were a bundle of gold.
Sophie pulled her mount alongside Seth’s. “Are you ready, Alf? It’s gallop-a-gallop time.” She winked at Rose and trotted ahead of Seth and Alf. When Seth followed, Alf’s delighted giggle filled the growing distance to the buggy.
Grinning, Ezra patted Rose’s leg. “We’d best follow. I doubt Seth and Sophie are planning to go clear into town. Nice of them to give Alf a ride, though.”
“We’ll probably never hear the end of it.”
“Right. ‘Big. Brown. White. Horse.’”
Rose nodded, silently filling in another of Alf’s new words, a word that was becoming increasingly important to her, as well. Sett. She drew herself up short. It was nonsense to dwell on such foolish notions and risk jeopardizing a perfectly good friendship.
Seth relinquished Alf into Rose’s care, and he and Sophie turned for home, trotting side by side. Seth could tell his sister was itching to say something, and the urge finally got the best of her. “Well, now, brother dear, what was that all about?”
Seth pulled his hat down over his eyes, determined to avoid his sister’s knowing smirk. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Balderdash. You’re quite attached to that little fellow. And he to you.”
“So?”
“You’ll have to be careful not to let him down. In his young life, he’s probably had more than his share of disappointments.” She waited, as if permitting him the opportunity to think about his role. “To prevent that from happening, you’ll have to spend a good deal of time with him.”
He knew what she was going to say before she said it, and sure enough, the next words out of Sophie’s mouth were “and with Rose.”
He grimaced. The situation was a double-edged sword. On the one hand, Sophie was right. He was attached to Alf. He liked the boy. But if he was honest, he also liked Rose and found himself thinking about her way too often. To put an end to Sophie’s probing, he responded, “I’ll spend time with them when it suits my convenience, but I won’t be making any special trips to town.”
Sophie shot him a skeptical look but had the grace to keep her mouth shut the rest of the way back to the ranch.
The silence, instead of comforting him, was unnerving, especially since now, as if the power of suggestion held sway over him, all he could think about was Rose. She was a good woman in every way. He liked talking to her and watching her being such a caring mother for Alf. He squelched the longing rising deep in his chest. He so wanted to be someone’s father, but he’d long ago decided he couldn’t do that to himself or to some innocent woman, no matter how much he loved her. He’d watched his own mother die giving birth. He’d witnessed his father crumple at her bedside, wailing out his pain.
Marriage was serious business and it didn’t always end happily. Oh, he entertained fantasies about having the kind of union Caleb and Lily had, but fate was capricious. There were no guarantees. It was cleaner, simpler to live the bachelor life, enjoying other people’s children without any of the responsibility. That way he could be at peace with the God he often questioned and avoid causing pain for others.
Seth saw his father waiting for them at the barn. After they’d stabled their horses, Sophie hurried into the house to begin dinner preparations, but Andrew laid a hand on Seth’s shoulder. After discussing the herd and the upcoming banknote due date, his father came to the point. “You’re mighty fond of that little Alf.” When Seth merely nodded, his father went on. “Children take to you. Have you thought about settling down, getting married?”
Seth groaned, suspecting his father and sister had been discussing his single state, and that they were in cahoots. “Yep. I reckon it’s not for me.”
There was no escaping his father’s steely gaze. “Why not?”
Seth struggled for words, then simply shrugged.
“It’s because of your mother.”
Seth swallowed, unable to speak.
His father planted his hands on his son’s knees. “Look at me. I know what you’re thinking. You were there that night. You saw something no small boy should ever witness.” Andrew heaved a deep sigh. “It was horrible and made no sense, but sometimes bad things just happen. Whatever you may think, though, God didn’t fail us. He sent us beautiful Sophie.” He leaned back then, folding his arms across his chest. “I don’t know much, son, but I know this. Love is worth the risk. You’ve always shied away from that risk.”
Stunned, Seth realized this was more truth from his father than he’d ever heard. “I don’t want to hurt anybody,” he said.
“Can’t promise that, Seth.”
Maybe if he weren’t so methodical, dissecting everything. If he could ever, just once, be passionate about a woman, then...but that was foolishness. He had no idea even how to court one. “It’s just who I am, Pa.”
His father stood up and pulled his pipe out of his shirt pocket. “Maybe, maybe not. Be open, son. God has great things in store for you.” Andrew struck a match on his boot, then puffed on his pipe, the savory tobacco aroma filling the air.
Seth wanted to believe his father, but it was difficult. “Best get washed up,” he said, then walked toward the house, all the while sensing his father’s eyes on his back.
* * *
Friday was baking day and after wiping down the table, Rose stood back in satisfaction, inhaling the yeasty smell of bread and surveying the pastries in the pie safe. Alf sat contentedly munching on a warm slice lathered with apple butter and sprinkled with cinnamon. Rose placed her hands in the small of her aching back and stretched, then took off her flour-dusted apron and turned to Alf. “How about a walk around town?”
He clapped his sticky hands. “See some horses?”
Rose laughed. “Yes, indeed, but first finish your bread so you can wash up.”
The boy took another big bite and looked at her with sparkling eyes. After he’d finished, she washed his hands and face, and they set off down the street. For Alf, exercise was not the point of their