Christmas at the Cornish Café: A heart-warming holiday read for fans of Poldark. Phillipa Ashley
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have my ways. You just bear it in mind. Just because you came to me begging me to save him doesn’t change a thing between any of us, and it isn’t only me who thinks he’s a selfish bastard.’
‘You may be bitter and twisted and blame him for your mum leaving you, but any reasonable person would see it’s not his fault.’
‘It’s not only me, and the amateur psychology you spouted when you turned up at my house uninvited had nothing to do with my decision to back off.’
‘Drop the act, Mawgan. If you want me to think you gave up your opposition to our plans for financial reasons, that’s fine, but we both know there was more to it than that. You just can’t admit you found you had a conscience after all.’
‘I’ve no idea what you’re referring to, but I told you that our conversation was private.’
No one can hear us in the kitchen, but I lower my voice anyway. ‘It was and it is. I kept my word. Cal has no idea that I came to see you or what we spoke about. As far as I’m aware, he also has no idea about your mum and his dad.’
She snorts. ‘Really?’
‘I think he would have mentioned it if he did.’
‘He tells you everything, does he?’ she says.
‘Not everything. I don’t share everything with him either, but I would have thought that considering the trouble you tried to cause over the summer, he might have told me about the situation if he knew.’
She sniffs, and seems at a loss for words for a few moments, then her lip curls. ‘I couldn’t care less anyway. You can relax. I’ve decided not to waste my time with little people like you and Cal.’
‘That suits us fine,’ I say, glad she can’t see my stomach drop to my shoes. If I never see Mawgan Cade again it will be too soon. Judging by the sneer on her face, I’m guessing she hates having betrayed any weakness to me. I could tell her that it wasn’t weak to allow her sister some happiness, or to let go of her bitter feud with Cal – but she wouldn’t listen.
‘Mawgan! We’re going. I’d like a word with you before we leave.’
Mawgan presses her lips together as Rev Bev pops her head round the door. ‘Goodnight,’ she says tightly. ‘I’m sure we’ll meet again soon.’
Shouldering her neon-pink ostrich-effect bag, she wobbles out of the kitchen on her pointy heels. I focus on loading the dishwasher, reminding myself that Mawgan is full of crap. I won’t let her empty threats hurt me because that’s exactly what she wants. I’m a successful cafe owner, I’ve a film crew to deal with in a few weeks, and Cal was going to say something nice too, although he didn’t actually say it.
Cal
My head throbs as I reach for the clock by the bed. The green digits glow in the gloom. Wednesday 9 October. 09.23. Shit. Is it that late? I need to get up. Those old staff cottages won’t renovate themselves.
I lift my head off the pillow and instantly regret it. Pain pulses in my temples. I’m shivering yet sheened in sweat. No wonder, I’ve woken up to find I’m lying on top of the duvet in my boxers. Last night, after I staggered home from the Tinner’s Arms in the small hours, I must have collapsed on top of the bed. At least I had the presence of mind to get undressed, which is amazing considering I was off my face. I haven’t been to one of the pub’s lock-ins for months. I’d already started to cut back on my drinking since Demi and I got Kilhallon off the ground, and I’m almost back within the so-called ‘healthy’ limit now. Correction, I was in the healthy limit until last night’s lapse.
Last night Demi went out with her mates to see a film in Penzance. I could and should have spent the evening doing the accounts for the resort, but I needed a break too. I only intended to have a quick pint at the pub, but one turned into two, then more, plus a few whiskies as well. Before I knew it, the landlord had locked the doors, joined his regulars for a game of poker and the evening had become early morning.
Snatches of conversation from the night before slowly come back to me, along with scenes from my nightmare and memories of my time in Syria. I remember someone talking about the Harbour Lights Festival in the bar. They reminded me of my conversation with Demi on Monday night before the committee meeting.
I told her I wasn’t having a fun time during last year’s festival. A slight understatement. I remember exactly where I was on that day. I was working in a refugee camp a couple of miles from the front line of a conflict zone, trying to do what I could for hundreds of wounded and displaced people. The sights, the sounds and smells will never leave me. Although I pretend to the people around me that I’ve put that time behind me and it doesn’t affect me, I’m lying.
I’m fully awake now. After I crashed out, some of the events from Syria came back to haunt me in a nightmare; albeit in a bizarre, jumbled way, like a story where the chapters have been swapped around or are missing altogether. I’m not sure why I had a nightmare or why the memories are so vivid and troubling now. Since I returned to Kilhallon, I’ve tried to lock my time in Syria away so I can try to get on with daily life, but it’s impossible to forget. The guilt I feel about what happened that day will never leave me, and perhaps it never should.
Lying in my bed now, I tell myself that my bad dream was probably just the result of too much Doom Bar, too many whisky chasers and a very stupid urge to scoff bacon, egg and black pudding at two o’clock in the morning when I eventually staggered into Kilhallon. I lift my head and see a tangle of sheets at the foot of the bed. I must have kicked them off while I was fighting imaginary attackers in my dream. The new sash window is open a few inches and the curtains flutter against the frame. A cold wind keens around the farmhouse, changing pitch every now and then and making my head hurt even more. It was only a dream, I remind myself, as my throbbing temples send a bolt of nausea straight to my stomach.
Yet the images from that day are still vivid now I’m awake. I remember my friend Soraya lying on top of a pile of bricks and broken furniture. A red checked tablecloth covered her legs; it must have fallen on top of her when the mortar round hit her home. She didn’t have a mark on her beautiful face and her eyes were closed as if she’d lain down to rest and pulled the cloth over her. Her upper body was covered with a fine powder, just as though someone had shaken icing sugar over her.
I’d been blown off my feet by an explosion and when I came round, I spotted her in the clouds of smoke and dust. From a few metres away, I’d almost believed she was asleep. I’d started to cough, my eyes stinging, and then I looked around for her little girl, Esme.
No matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t see her anywhere.
The sounds and smells come back to me, along with the scene of devastation all round. Clouds of dirt and debris rose up like a fog, yet one that was hot and acrid and burned my throat. My eyes were raw and streaming. Rumbles like thunder shook the ground to one side and the chatter of gunfire echoed on the other. A soldier loomed out of the dust and yelled at me: ‘We’re going. Come with us now or die here.’
I could not move. All I could do was stare at Soraya sleeping on her rubble bed, knowing she’d never wake up. And then I knew what to do and my feet moved: not to run after the soldier but to clamber over the rubble piles to search for Esme. I knew I had to find her and take her back with me to safety.
I clawed at the rubble, looking for her. My knuckles were bleeding. I couldn’t find her. Then I heard the soldiers again, their voices, and realised that they weren’t ‘our’ side, but the insurgents who had shelled the town. I had to leave, or be killed. Instinct told me to run and hope I could find Esme at our camp. So I ran, tears streaming down my face. It was too late. Too late for Soraya, for Esme and for me.
Suddenly, another scene from my nightmare floods my mind and merges with my memories. I was in a dusty room, the