Into the Wilderness. Laura Abbot
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and beginning her ritual one-hundred brush strokes. Knowing that those three words would not satisfy her sister, she went on. “Like many of our officers, he is lonely. I provided a temporary diversion, no doubt.”
Rose hooted. “Are you blind? The way he looked at you was special.”
“He can look all he wants, but I will not encourage him. He would only be a distraction in my life.”
“The life that’s taking you to St. Louis?”
Lily set down her brush and put her hands on Rose’s shoulders. “I’m sorry it’s difficult for you to understand, but I have to be true to myself.”
Rose reached up and clasped Lily’s hands. “I know. Papa and I have realized for some time that this place is too confining for your spirit.” She bowed her head, whispering so quietly Lily had to bend closer to hear her. “But it is so hard to let you go.” Rose looked straight into Lily’s eyes. “I suppose I had hoped that if you married an army officer, our paths would cross now and again. And of the lot, Captain Montgomery seems a good man—a man who would cherish you or whomever else he chose.”
“It is a fine thing to be cherished. Pray that I may find such a suitor in the city.”
“I cannot honor your request. I will pray for you, of course, but for your well-being, happiness and the fulfillment of God’s purpose for you, wherever you may be.”
Lily embraced her sister, so good and true. Then she blew out the candle, and they curled into the depths of the feather bed they had shared since childhood. Soon she could hear her sister’s gentle exhalations, but sleep eluded Lily. She lay awake for some time, not thinking so much about St. Louis as remembering the name Caleb and how he had needed to hear it spoken.
She turned on her side and shortly before falling asleep whispered to the shadows, “Dear God, why can’t life be simple?”
* * *
When Caleb entered his quarters, Will Creekmore was sitting at the desk writing a letter by lantern light. “Did you enjoy the concert?”
Caleb stripped off his gloves and jacket and tossed them on a chair. “It was a welcome morale boost. Routine drills get mighty boring for the men.”
“And for us.”
Caleb noticed a daguerreotype sitting on the desk. He pointed to it. “Your family?”
The lieutenant picked it up and gazed at it fondly. “No. Fannie, my sweetheart back in Wisconsin.” He hesitated and then added, “She’s been waiting a long time. I’m asking her to come here. To be married. But it’s far from her home. I don’t know if...” He sighed. “All I can do is ask, though I do hate to inflict such a long journey on her.”
“It’s a lonely life out here. For your sake, I hope she says yes.”
“Speaking of the ladies, how was your evening with Miss Kellogg? I couldn’t help noticing how you favored her.”
In the confusion of his feelings, Caleb didn’t want to discuss Lily, but neither did he want to be rude. “She is a delightful young woman.”
His fellow officer speared him with a look. “Whose company you enjoy.”
Caleb shrugged helplessly, wishing he had done a better job of resisting Miss Kellogg’s charms.
Will stood and clapped a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Heaven help us, then. We can fight the rebel and the savage, but one look from a pretty woman and we’re goners.” He gathered up his ink, pen and paper. “I’m turning in. Good night, Montgomery.”
“Good night. Leave the lantern. I want to read for a while.”
After the man departed, Caleb picked up the book he’d left on the shelf and settled in a chair. But the book remained unopened, forgotten in the swirl of his thoughts. Lily Kellogg was a puzzlement. At the same time she had seemed interested in their conversation, he’d sensed a reserve on her part, as if she was unwilling to commit fully to their dialogue. Perhaps he had been too forward and she was merely being proper. Given his lack of recent experience with women, he was at a loss. He fingered the leather-bound volume in his lap. If only there were a treatise to teach him how to read women. How to court them without the fumbling awkwardness he had felt when he left Lily at her doorstep.
Courtship? Where had that idiotic notion come from? But even as the idea formed, the specter of Rebecca rose in his mind, and his spirit curled in on itself. He was too near his goal of joining his family in the cattle business to be waylaid by a woman.
He closed his eyes, picturing the verdant hills of the Montgomery Ranch, the beauty of the blooming redbuds his brother had described and the panorama of orange-pink sunsets stretching across the horizon. It was there he would ultimately build a home and father children. Someday he would have a wife. But why, lately, did the “someday” wife of his imagination look like Lily? Could she—or any woman—endure his nightmares? Accept his role in the Washita battle, especially when he couldn’t?
* * *
The unseasonably warm April afternoon was made even more unpleasant by wild winds rattling windows and blowing dust high into the air. Lily moved among the beds of men laid low by spring fevers, following her father as he stopped to recommend treatment or offer encouragement. After their rounds, Lily prepared medications and folded clean laundry.
She consciously tried to appear busy to avoid the unpleasant stares of one of the enlisted men recently assigned to hospital duty rotation. He had a weasellike appearance and followed instructions to the bare minimum a chore might require. It seemed every time she moved around the ward, he was lurking nearby with the same insolent look on his face. She was probably overreacting, but something about Corporal Adams made her distinctly uncomfortable. She shuddered before resuming her work.
Late that afternoon her father asked her to go to the post office to check on a package he was expecting, a medical book about the treatment of snake and insect bites. She welcomed her escape.
However, when she stepped outside, strong winds buffeted her, whipping her skirt around her legs. She tightened the sash on her bonnet and struggled toward the sutler’s. Once there, she checked with the officious postal agent. “Have you a parcel for the surgeon?”
“Nasty day, what?” he said, his eyes roaming over her in an unseemly manner.
“Indeed.”
He waited another beat before withdrawing a package from under the counter. “Wouldn’t do to get it wet. Best hasten home, missy. Clouds are comin’.”
“I’ll hurry.” She grabbed the package and turned to leave, stunned to see Corporal Adams slouched against the door, hands in his pockets. When she tried to slip past him, he fell in beside her. “Doc sent me to help you.”
She eyed him with suspicion. Her father had never before sent anyone in such a situation. “I’m fine, thank you, Corporal.”
Despite her dismissal, he followed her outside. Suddenly the fierce winds died, and a humid, pea-green canopy fell over the fort. Looking to the west, Lily saw thunderhead upon thunderhead mounting to the heavens and rolling toward them. She picked up her pace, leaning protectively over the package as the first pellets of rain fell. Then before she had gone more than a few yards, the sky went black, a gust of wind hit her and the heavens opened up.
“Here, miss.” Adams seized her by the arm and pulled her into a darkened storehouse. “We’ll be right cozy in here.” His eyes glinted dangerously, and his grip on her arm hurt.
She struggled against him. “I’m going home.”
The soldier moved closer. “You’ll get wet. Now don’t be a spoilsport. Besides, ole Adams just wants to have a bit o’ fun.”
He grabbed her around the waist, and she smelled his foul breath on her face. She could hardly breathe. “Get your hands off me!”
In the dim light,