Lone Star Christmas. Jolene Navarro
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my father. He created this mess, and now I can’t even yell at him. I don’t know anything about kids, especially grieving ones.”
“No, your brothers need you. They’re young. They don’t understand what’s going on. Ethan, well, he’s a teenager. They’re not good at expressing what they need because they’re confused in general. You’re doing the right thing.” Without thinking about it, she reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. “You’ve all had a loss, and they need family right now. So do you.”
He snorted. “My father didn’t build a loving community with his kids. It was more or less every man for himself. People are easily discarded in the Delgado clan.”
“You can make your own choices.” She remembered the sensitive boy she had fallen in love with. “I know you’re not your father, Max. Do you still write?”
“No. You don’t know me anymore. We were kids back then. We didn’t know anything, let alone who we were.”
She pulled back. “If you don’t like the way your father was, then change. God created you in His image. You don’t have to carry on your father’s legacy. With God, you can start new, you and your brothers.” She looked down. He didn’t want to be preached at. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” His gaze stayed focused on the slow-moving town outside the window. “Pastor Wayne said pretty much the same thing.” A cold wall fell between them that had nothing to do with the weather outside.
The hard jaw flexed as his attention touched her briefly before moving away again. “Listen, I know what you want, and I can’t deliver. My uncle is in charge now, and he wants the wood salvaged and sent to Flower Mound. More people will see them there if that makes you happy.” He shrugged. “That’s where they’re going, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
She pulled back. What had she been thinking? Maybe everything her father said about the Delgado family was true and Max wasn’t the sweet boy of her memories. It was all about what they could sell or who they could use. They didn’t care about their history.
Leaning forward, she crossed her arms and looked him straight in the eye. He was going to learn what it meant to be a Bergmann. “I’m not giving up that easily. Get me in touch with your uncle. I’m sure we can work out some sort of deal. Maybe some positive PR.” Her heart pounded in her ears. This was her gift to her mother. To finish the work her mother had started. So many years working on this project. It couldn’t come down to one simple no.
“Max, the history is so important to protect and preserve. It won’t cost y’all any money. I have grants and city support. I’ve been working on this a long time. I just need the buildings. They belong to Clear Water. It’s what my mother—” she bit her lip “—and your mother wanted.”
“Don’t go there. What does it matter anyway? Saving the buildings won’t bring them back.”
Leaning closer, she looked him right in the eyes. A couple of inches separated them. “History is how we remember where we came from.”
He rested his arm on the back of the booth, trying to act as if he didn’t have a care in the world, but she could see the pulse at the base of his neck, in the space near his collarbone. “There’s your problem. With my family’s past? I would rather forget. My parents are gone, and I’d rather plunge in to the future. History belongs behind us.”
She wasn’t sure what to say to that. “How can you not want to honor them?” Her voice sounded rough to her own ears. “I’ll never forget my mother. This was important to her. And to yours.” He had to understand. “The boy I spent that summer with would have understood.”
“That boy is long gone.” He pinned her with a stare. His once-warm eyes now stared coldly at her, as though they were strangers. “Jackie, some rotted-out buildings are not going to bring them back. Is that what this is all about? Our mothers?”
Yes. No. She couldn’t think. Before she could respond, Sally was passing out plates full of giant burgers and hand-cut fries. “Anything else I can get y’all?”
Jackie smiled and thanked her, her face stinging from embarrassment and unshed tears. She had lost her appetite. There was no way she could eat a bite. “Yes, I’d like a to-go box.”
Max stood. “I’ll get the boys. If we could get it all to go, that’d be great.” He glanced at Jackie, then looked off to where the boys had gone. “You can take us back to the ranch. I’ll go to Uvalde for our supplies.”
Sally shot a frown his way, and a few of the people around the café cut hostile stares at him as he walked to the back to get the boys.
She wasn’t going to feel sorry for him.
Once and for all, Max Delgado was out of her heart and gone from her thoughts. He had been hiding in the deepest part of her subconscious without her even being aware he was there. It was good that he was here and she could let go of any teenage fantasy.
She could focus on what was important. Getting those buildings restored. Their mothers had wanted this for the town and their families. She wanted this for them, so they would never be forgotten. Maybe some of the guilt would finally fade away.
She finished her hot chocolate and pushed back her cup.
* * *
Ignoring the suspicious glares, Max stood in the archway and scanned the small game room located between the café and the convenience store on the other side of the building. He hated the feelings Jackie brought out in him. He didn’t want to think about his mother or his father. Especially his father. It wouldn’t change anything. He’d just get angry, and he was tired of living with anger.
Ethan was in a race car simulator. Max didn’t see Tomas or Isaac. “Where are the boys?”
The lanky teen leaned to the right, then pulled to the left. “They said they had to go to the bathroom.”
“You let them go by themselves?” He was not in the mood for this. Pulling in a deep breath, he forced his voice to remain calm. No need to take his frustration out on Ethan.
“They seemed old enough to be potty trained.” Ethan yelled at the screen and jerked left.
Max wasn’t in the mood for the teen’s sarcasm. He spotted the large restroom sign next to the soda counter. “This is a public gas station. You don’t let them go off on their own. I put you in charge of them.”
Ethan slammed his palms against the faux steering wheel as his race car came in last. With a grumble, he finally looked at Max. “Maybe I don’t want to be in charge. That’s your job. You volunteered for babysitting duty. I didn’t.”
Max gritted his teeth. He wanted to point out that Ethan had asked to come along; no one had invited him. But even though his knowledge was limited when it came to kids, he knew that getting into a power struggle with a teenager was an exercise in futility.
Stepping into the public restroom, he knocked on the stall doors. “Tomas! Isaac!”
No answer came back to him. Glancing under the doors, he found the stalls empty. Sheer panic froze him in place for a moment. They had to be here. Horror stories of kids disappearing swamped his brain. That kind of stuff didn’t happen in Clear Water, not here in Smalltown, USA. “Tomas! Isaac!”
They had to be here somewhere. Coming out of the bathroom, he walked briskly over to the convenience store side. The boys would love to play with the souvenirs and toys over there. Maybe they’d wandered that way. “Ethan! They aren’t in here. Get Jackie. I’m going to see if they went into the store.”
Ethan stood, his mouth open. “What do you mean? They have to be there.”
Max took a deep breath to keep himself from yelling. “They’re gone. Tell Jackie.” Without waiting, he rushed over to find a clerk who might have seen the boys.
His mind was racing with all the worst possibilities.