The Cowboy's Christmas Baby. Carolyne Aarsen
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but I can fix your siding and replace your windows,” he said, wishing he could keep the anger out of his voice. Seeing his ex-girlfriend’s pitying look just before she dumped him had been a tough pill to swallow. Going through the slow and painful steps of rehab even more so. But to have this girl whom he once admired and dreamed of dating treat him like less of a man was like a slap. “It might take me longer than usual and if that’s a worry, I’ll tell Jan to adjust your bill,” he snapped. “Call it a disability discount.”
Erin took a step back, looking as if he had hit her and he regretted being so defensive.
“I’m sorry” was all she said. Then she turned and strode back to the house, her sweater flaring behind her in her hurry to get away from him.
He blew out a sigh as she closed the door, shaking his head at his stupid outburst. Way to go, Moore, he chided himself. Way to treat the customer.
She was probably in the house, calling Jan up and telling him she didn’t want this crazy man on her yard anymore.
He sucked in a breath and picked up one end of the ladder, pulling it away from the truck. Then he started toward the house, his steps deliberate as he dragged the thing behind him.
He hoped she didn’t look out the window at this point to see just how disabled he really was. He knew it shouldn’t matter to him what she thought.
But it did. Far too much.
As he lifted the ladder against the house, moving slowly and carefully, he struggled with his own doubts.
He would finish up here today and then he would phone Jan and tell him he had to find someone else.
No way was he going to work for someone who didn’t think he could do the job.
Especially not Erin McCauley.
Erin drizzled the glaze on the bundt cake she had made, then stood back to admire her handiwork.
Too much? Not enough?
What kind of cake did you bake for the man in front of whom you’d made a complete fool of yourself? What kind of cake said “I’m sorry” the best?
This morning, after her run-in with Dean, she had packed up Caitlin and made a quick trip to town to talk to the people at Dis-Connected about getting her internet up and running. From there she’d headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things she was missing, as well as supplies to bake this cake.
But now that it was done she was having second thoughts. Should have just gone with cookies. Or muffins.
She tossed the bowl with the remainder of the icing into the sink. Seriously, how indecisive could she be? Had Sam done this to her? Stolen her identity and her confidence?
The answer to that would be a resounding yes if she were honest with herself. But she didn’t want to admit he’d had that much influence in her life. Lauren had always accused her of being a people pleaser. Her life with Sam was the epitome of that personality trait.
She could hear Dean clattering around outside, going up and down the ladder. She didn’t know what he was doing out there, only that she wasn’t going out to watch. After his outburst she doubted he would appreciate spectators.
Well, the cake was done and it was a quarter to twelve. He would be quitting for lunch soon. Perfect time to bring it out to him.
She glanced at the clock again just as her phone rang.
It was Jodie.
“Hey, sweetie,” Jodie trilled, “I’m about five minutes away. Can I stop in?”
“Of course. You’re always welcome here.”
“I kind of figured, but I don’t want to intrude.”
Jodie’s words gave her a tick of sorrow. In her shame and retreat from her sisters had she come across as so unapproachable?
“Will Caitlin be awake?” Jodie asked.
“She’s sleeping now, but I’m sure she’ll be up soon.” Thankfully Caitlin had settled in last night. It was as if she too sensed they had arrived at their final destination.
This morning Erin had gone for a walk around the property and down the road, just to get a sense of the place. To let herself enjoy the space, the quiet and the simple fact that this belonged to her and only her.
Then she’d made a fool of herself in front of Dean.
“Then if it’s okay, I’m coming over,” Jodie said.
“That would be great.”
This way she could put off the agony of indecision over the cake she had just made and, instead, catch up with Jodie. She wanted to talk about the wedding and settle back into her sister’s life. The easier sister’s life.
Though she and Lauren were twins, she always felt like the younger sister around her. She knew Lauren loved her, but the dismayed expression on Lauren’s face when she’d arrived with Caitlin showed Erin how disappointed her twin was.
Whereas Jodie’s reaction had been one of joy.
Erin set the cake aside, quickly washed up the dishes she had used, tidying with a sense of anticipation. She shot a glance around the house. Everything was in order.
Outside she could hear thumps and the occasional screech of nails. She was very curious as to what he was doing, but her embarrassment over how he had misinterpreted their last interaction kept her inside the house, uselessly tidying. Then she heard a muffled squawk from the bedroom and she rushed to pick up her daughter. Just as she came out of the room she heard a vehicle pull up.
And as Jodie came up the cracked and uneven sidewalk, carrying a bouquet of flowers, Erin’s throat thickened and tears welled up in her eyes.
She opened the door and Jodie hurried toward her, arms wide.
“Hey, sis,” Erin managed as Jodie grabbed her in a careful hug.
Jodie held her close, Caitlin snuggled between them as tears spilled.
“Oh, honey,” Jodie murmured, rocking her back and forth. “It’s been a long road for you, I think.”
Erin sniffed, annoyed at how easily she cried in front of her sister, yet thankful for someone whom she felt comfortable enough around to do exactly that.
Jodie pulled back and smoothed Erin’s tears away with the balls of her thumbs, her expression sympathetic. “You’re home, you know.”
“I know. I think that’s why I’m feeling so weepy.”
“And you just had a baby.”
“That, too,” Erin said with a tremulous laugh.
“So, you take these and I’ll take her,” Jodie said, handing Erin the flowers while she carefully removed Caitlin from Erin’s arms, cradling her as they walked into the house.
Jodie sat down on the couch and bent over her niece, inhaling slowly. “Oh, my goodness. She smells so sweet.” She rubbed her nose over Caitlin’s tiny one. “And you are such an amazing gift. You are, you know,” she cooed to Caitlin. “You are a perfect little gift to our family. We’re so blessed to have you.”
Erin felt the bonds of guilt and shame that had held her soul loosen at Jodie’s simple, accepting words.
“By the way, Lauren and Aunt Laura both say hi, hence the flowers,” Jodie said indicating the bouquet Erin was cutting the ends off of. “They both wanted to come, but they both have to work whereas self-employed me can take time off and have you and Caitlin all to myself,” she said, her head tilting slightly as she heard the sound of hammering. “So I noticed Dean’s here already?”
“Yeah. He came