The Cowboy's Family Christmas. Carolyne Aarsen
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could they possibly have to say to each other?
“Hey, Leanne,” he said, surprised at the hitch in his voice when their eyes met.
To his surprise and disappointment, old feelings gripped his heart.
For years she had occupied his waking thoughts and drifted through his dreams. Now here she stood, Dirk’s widow, with his nephew resting on her hip. Two reminders of the distance between them.
“Hey, Reuben.”
Her voice was cool and clipped. He felt his own ire rise up, wondering what right she had to be bent out of shape.
“What are you doing here?” His father’s gruff voice grated and once again Reuben fought the old inferiority his father always created in him.
When Reuben received the email from Owen Herne, chairman of the Cedar Ridge Rodeo Group, asking him to assess the unfinished arena for them, he’d been tempted to delete it. He had no desire to return to Cedar Ridge and face the woman he had loved, now the widow of his forever-favored older brother. And why would he deliberately put himself in the line of his father’s constant disapproval? He had lived with that long enough when he was a teenager.
The last time he was in Cedar Ridge was three years ago to attend his brother’s funeral. George had been so bitter, he hadn’t acknowledged Reuben’s presence. No personal greeting. No question about how he was doing. No recognition of Reuben’s own pain at the loss of a brother.
As for Leanne, she’d still been unconscious and in the hospital. While seeing her so incapacitated had gutted him, in some twisted way it was probably for the best. Reuben wouldn’t have known what to say to her after she’d left him for his brother.
But the tiny part of him that still clung to hope pushed him to come home.
“Owen asked me to come talk to the Rodeo Group. About the arena,” Reuben said, determined not to let these two show how much influence they had over his life and emotions.
“He never said anything to me,” George complained.
“You’ll have to take that up with him,” Reuben said, trying to keep his tone light and conversational. “But the ranch was on my way to town. I thought I would stop by and say hello.”
“It’s been a long time since you were here,” George said.
On this point Reuben couldn’t fault him, though he stifled a beat of resentment at his father’s frowning disapproval. Didn’t matter what he did when he was growing up, George criticized him.
Come home with good marks?
Well, he could have done better.
Ride the rankest bronc in the rodeo?
Could have scored higher.
Never as good as his brother. Never as good as Dirk.
“It has been a while,” Reuben agreed. He wasn’t apologizing for his lack. As the son of the wife who had taken off, Reuben often felt his father held him to account for his mother’s behavior. And Reuben had taken that on, as well, always trying to find ways to earn his gruff father’s approval.
But it never happened. In fact George had made it clear Dirk would take over the ranch when he was old enough and that there was no place for Reuben in spite of all the work he had done here year after year. Reuben left home as soon as he graduated high school. He rode rodeo in the summer and took on any odd job to help pay for his structural engineering classes. He was determined to show his father he could go it alone. Now he had a degree and had already racked up some impressive jobs. Though his heart had always been here in Cedar Ridge, once he discovered that Dirk and Leanne had had a baby, he shelved any hope of coming back.
His eyes drifted again to Leanne, the woman who, at one time, he had dared to weave dreams and plans around.
“So, here we are,” he said.
Instead of responding, she set his nephew, Austin, on his feet and clung to his chubby little hand. She adjusted the little cowboy hat he wore, then glanced over at George.
Looking everywhere but at him as a tense silence fell between them.
Since she’d moved here with her sister, Tabitha, and her father when she was in high school, Leanne Rennie had only had eyes for his older brother, Dirk. And he knew why. Dirk was the good brother. Steady. Solid. Dependable. A Christian.
Reuben knew exactly who he was. The irresponsible younger brother who could only worship Leanne from afar.
Though Leanne had dated his brother for years and been engaged to Dirk for four of them, Reuben had never been able to completely let go of his feelings for her.
But Dirk held off on setting a wedding date for four years. Then, as if she couldn’t wait any longer, Leanne broke up with Dirk. His brother left for Europe, and he and Leanne met up at his cousin’s destination wedding in Costa Rica. They’d spent two glorious weeks together. She’d confessed that, while she had always wanted the security Dirk could offer, she had a hard time denying her changing feelings for Reuben.
They decided they wanted to be together but she had said that she needed to tell Dirk first. Reuben couldn’t figure out why, but he gave Leanne the space she asked for.
Then when Dirk came back from his trip, the next thing he heard, via his cousin Cord, was that Dirk and Leanne had eloped. Reuben was devastated, hurt, then the anger kicked in and he threw himself into his work. He was determined to prove he didn’t need anyone. That he could be successful.
And he had accomplished that. In two weeks he would be starting with a company that promised him prestige and financial independence.
He thought he had put Leanne out of his mind for good, but seeing her now, even more beautiful than he remembered, created an unwelcome hitch in his heart.
In the uncomfortable silence that lingered, a bird warbled, and the wind rustled through the trees sheltering the house beyond them. No one said anything more.
“Well, just thought I’d stop by and say hi.” He looked away from his father and Leanne, then crouched down in front of Austin. “And I thought I would get to know you, little guy. I’m your uncle Reuben.”
Austin pursed his lips, frowning slightly, as if he didn’t believe he had an uncle.
The idea that his only nephew didn’t even know who he was cut almost as deep as Leanne’s chilly attitude.
“Wooben,” Austin said finally. “Uncle Wooben.”
“That’s right.”
Austin stared at him then pointed at Reuben’s hat, then his own, looking proud. “My hat. I have my hat.”
“It’s a pretty cool hat,” Reuben agreed.
But then Austin looked up at Leanne, no longer interested in his uncle. “Firsty, Mommy.”
“We’ll get something in a minute, sweetheart.” Leanne hesitated, then glanced over at Reuben, her eyes barely skimming over him. “Would you like some tea?”
“He might not have time,” his father said, as if Reuben was no more than a salesman whom George felt he had to be polite to.
Reuben pushed himself up, glancing from his father back to Leanne. He guessed her invitation was more a formality than anything. That his father could be so cool to him he fully understood. Nothing new there.
But Leanne? The woman he had, at one time, thought would be his?
“No. I should get going,” Reuben said, fighting down his own resentment and anger.
Good thing the opinion of other people had never mattered to him. Otherwise this could have been a genuinely painful moment.
“Will you be coming by again?” his father asked.
“I’ll have to see how things go” was all he would say.