Christmas At Cade Ranch. Karen Rock
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“You su—” Jewel cut off at Joy’s swat. “I mean, you duck,” she amended, glaring at Jared. “You really, really duck.”
“Quack you very much,” Jared rejoined and the brothers guffawed, the family rhythms returning, temporarily loosening the pressure valve that’d been present since Jesse’s death.
James had given up hoping things would ever return to the way they’d been. A time when his mother hadn’t cried at odd times of the day, Jewel hadn’t retreated into her saddle, Jared hadn’t spent all his free time away from the ranch, Justin hadn’t risked his life with his reckless antics and Jackson had been home...
No. This was their new normal. Though it didn’t stop James from missing the old days—especially during the holidays. He wished December would disappear right off his calendar to end another painful year.
Javi climbed on Jared’s lap and patted his cheeks. “Can you teach me?”
“Sure.”
“After you eat your ten grapes,” James said, feeling a growing sense of duty to this child who might be a Cade.
“Ugh. Always the lecturer,” Jewel groaned.
“A man honors his word,” James insisted.
“As does a woman,” Sofia added. They exchanged a quick searching glance and the morning’s easy rapport returned to him, followed by her inconsistencies about her wallet.
A car revved outside and backfired. The sound cracked through the air like a gunshot. Javi jumped, spilling the bowl of grapes. He bolted around the back of the couch and started crying.
The family swapped concerned glances as Sofia crouched by the small space. “It’s just a car, honey.”
“Justin’s hunk-a-junk,” Jewel said over Sofia’s shoulder. “He’ll show it to you before he goes to the demolition derby.”
“No,” Javi sobbed. “Shooting.”
“Honey. You’re safe,” soothed Sofia.
“No,” he choked out, hyperventilating, by the sound of it.
It amazed James how quickly Javi had gone from rambunctious to fearful. Spirited to terrified. What had happened in his life to make him react this way? No one should ever feel afraid on Cade Ranch, especially not a child.
He leaned over and spoke firmly, steadily. “Javi. I want you to take a deep breath in through your nose, then push it out through your mouth. Can you do that ten times, bud?”
“Yes.”
Sofia gripped the back of the sofa and the sides of their hands touched. The urge to thread his fingers in hers, to reassure her, seized him.
Javi’s breathing slowed.
“Okay. Now. When I say a body part, I want you to squeeze it hard, then relax it.”
“With my hands?”
“No. Just use your muscles.”
He guided Javi through the relaxation technique he’d learned while on his first tour of duty in Afghanistan. It’d helped him get through those dangerous months, and sometimes, it even helped him sleep...or doze...at least.
“Your head...” he concluded, after having Javi work his way up from his toes, tensing, then releasing the muscle groups. He felt rather than saw Sofia’s eyes on him.
“I can’t squeeze my head,” Javi said with a giggle. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Sofia’s relieved smile and returned it.
“That must mean you’re a knucklehead,” he joked, and to his relief, Javi emerged from behind the couch.
He shook his finger at James. “I heard that.”
“Well. At least that means you don’t have cotton between your ears.”
Javi giggled again and wriggled free of his mother’s embrace.
“Do you want to check out Justin’s hunk-a-junk with me?” he asked, an urge to connect with Javi taking hold.
“Okay.”
A small hand slipped into his and a feeling of protectiveness surged. Such a trusting gesture. Tender. Vulnerable. A child’s faith could slay the most stalwart dragon, he marveled, and he felt the walls he’d built up about the boy begin to crumble.
He led Javi out on the porch and Sofia followed.
“Thank you,” she said to him softly, a heartbreaking smile on her face. A sliver of pink gum showed above her top teeth.
Justin leaned out of the driver’s-side window of a rust-brown, banged-up Chevy Impala, the number 212 spray painted on its side. The engine rumbled in the night air. James’s nostrils stung from the spewing exhaust.
“Ma! You coming? I need to get moving if I’m going to take out Daryl Loveland in the first round.”
Joy’s hand fluttered to her hair, her necklace. “Actually, I don’t think I’ll go out after all.”
James exchanged concerned glances with his siblings behind his mother’s back. She’d seemed so animated before.
“Suit yourself. Hey, kid.” Justin beckoned Javi. “Want a ride before I head to the demolition derby?”
His teeth flashed stark white against his dark beard, his grin more pirate than rancher. Justin’s many speeding tickets, accident reports and wrecks came to mind.
“No,” James insisted. He met his family’s surprised stares, chin raised. Heedless Justin was the last person he trusted to drive Javi. “I’ll take him.”
“Do you want to go, honey? You don’t have to.” Sofia brushed back Javi’s hair. James’s heart somersaulted at the tender gesture.
Javi nodded, his eyes on the muscle car.
“Want me to go with you?”
Javi peered down at his hand clasped in James’s and shook his head. “Can I ride up front?”
“Yes. But only because I’m going to go very slow, and you’re wearing a seat belt.” He met Sofia’s eye. “Okay, Mom?”
She smiled tightly. “Just don’t go far.”
“We won’t. Let’s go, Javi.”
And a moment later, he guided the Impala down one of the dirt roads that separated pastures. The sports coupe growled and whined, bouncing over potholes, kicking up clouds of white snow, dust and pebbles. His thoughts and feelings swirled around his head like quicksilver, unpredictable and reluctant to coalesce. As he drove alongside barbed wire fences and stared at the white-crusted land illuminated by his headlights, he allowed himself to think about Jesse. Was Javi really Jesse’s son? And if so, had he disavowed the child? Why?
Although he didn’t imagine he’d ever have children, he knew he’d never turn his back on his own. He’d always take responsibility and protect what was his.
He shut down the traitorous thought of his brother. Believing Javi was Jesse’s son meant accepting his sibling had acted worse than he’d imagined, hurting not just his family, but inflicting pain on an innocent child. On Sofia.
He cast a sideways glance down at the wide-eyed boy beside him. Javi huddled in the passenger seat, fidgeting with the large seat belt that crossed his lap. Cool air streamed in through the open window and he breathed in the bovine scent that mingled with the hay they’d tossed out to the livestock earlier.
Javi was quiet. Too quiet. Concern rose. “Want me to turn around?”
“No.”
“Where do you want to go?”
Another moment of silence. Then, “Home.”
“You