The Wives. Lauren Weisberger
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sound of a utensil clinking against crystal interrupted them. ‘Ladies! It’s that time!’ Ashley called out, beaming.
Everyone held aloft a drink and clinked. Miriam heard a woman behind her say quietly to another, ‘She spun for a girl with number three, and when that didn’t work, she had in vitro with this one. Why are we all acting like this is some sort of big surprise?’
‘Let’s have Christina open her gifts,’ Ashley announced. ‘Chris, which would you like to start with?’
Everyone turned to the gift table, which was surprisingly sparse. Miriam counted exactly three gifts, one of which she knew to be her own.
Christina ripped the card off the first box, which was wrapped in the most beautiful floral paper and tied with a bunch of live peonies. She read the card and, after announcing it was from her mother-in-law, opened the package to reveal a sterling silver rattle, baby spoon, and sippy cup.
‘And they’re engraved with Rose’s name,’ a thin woman in a Chanel skirt suit announced from her seat.
Christina blew her a kiss and then opened the second gift. ‘Oh, Marta, you shouldn’t have!’ she squealed, holding up a generic hooded-towel-and-washcloth set trimmed in itchy-looking pink lace. She motioned for the uniformed maid who had greeted the guests at the front door to enter the room, and the woman shyly approached. ‘I love it. Thank you so much!’ The housekeeper bent down for an awkward hug and then scurried away. Christina handed it off to Ashley. It was not monogrammed. It was not woven from Egyptian cotton. It did not orginate in a French boutique. Even Miriam knew the chances that the towel or washcloth would ever so much as graze an inch of that baby’s skin were nil.
‘Here you go,’ Ashley chirped, handing over the last wrapped box: Miriam’s.
Christina quickly unwrapped it and revealed the contents to the crowd. Two pink onesies with zippers – Miriam had loved the zippers instead of snaps with her own babies – a coordinating newborn hat, and a pair of furry pink booties. ‘Oh, how precious. I love it! Miriam, thank you – that was so sweet.’
Christina seemed to appreciate and admire the outfit, and Miriam felt a wave of relief that she had chosen well. But where were everyone else’s gifts? Why was it only Miriam, the mother-in-law, and the maid?
A hush fell over the room. Christina looked eager, anticipatory.
‘Okay, ladies! The moment you’ve all been waiting for. It’s time for the group present!’ Ashley called as though she were the head cheerleader at a football game.
Only then did Miriam notice a gigantic pink sheet thrown over something large in the corner. A baby swing, she figured. Probably one of those new high-tech ones that you could control with your phone through an app and have it link to Spotify. Who knew these days? It could come with a camera or an aromatherapy diffuser, for all she knew.
‘So, this is from the rest of us,’ Ashley sang. ‘Because we know it’s only two weeks until you can work out again, and with four kiddos it might not be so easy to get to the studio, so … Ta-dah!’ And with a great flourish, Ashley yanked off the blanket to reveal a brand-new Peloton spin bike. Perched on a side table next to it, collected in a gigantic wire-mesh basket, were an extra set of clippable pedals, wireless headphones, sleek white spin shoes, a YETI water bottle, and a pile of Lululemon workout clothes so massive that it looked as though someone had purchased the store’s entire size-four stock.
‘Oh my God, it’s exactly what I was hoping for!’ Christina squealed with obvious delight. ‘Thank you! Each and every one of you! You are all just so amazing!’
The entire room clapped and cheered and lined up to receive their grateful hug.
‘Where’s the baby?’ Emily hissed. A little too loudly, Miriam thought. ‘Even in L.A. – which I previously thought was the most fucked-up place ever – women bring actual babies to a viewing party!’
Miriam was scanning the room when she felt her phone vibrate. Worried that it was one of the kid’s schools, she pulled it out. A meeting reminder. She’d set it when she first started working at Skadden so she never forgot the weekly lunch meeting, where the partners would take turns presenting their case updates to everyone else. Twelve-thirty on the dot, every Wednesday. She had hated that meeting, absolutely dreaded it, but for some reason, she had never deleted the automatic reminder. Now she looked around the beautiful room at all the beautiful plants and the stylish women, nibbling gourmet treats and sipping morning cocktails, and she felt a pang of yearning for that drab conference room with its droning partners and dry turkey club sandwiches. Only for a split second. But still.
Emily raised her champagne glass. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m fine sipping and not seeing, but good God.’
They were interrupted by Ashley, who was cradling an armful of the most sumptuous-looking cashmere blankets in a very tender way.
‘Oh! Is that baby Rose?’ Miriam cried, moving closer for a peek just as Emily stepped away.
Ashley looked confused. ‘What? Oh, this?’ She tossed the pile on the couch, and both women gasped. Ashley stared at Miriam and Emily as if they were crazy. ‘Those are gifts.’
‘Got it,’ Miriam said.
‘Listen, do you two have a minute? It would be so great if you could help me hand out the favors. We had white S’well water bottles personalized with “Rose,” and we had them wrapped with a bottle of Whispering Angel for each guest. Get it? Rose and Rosé? They’re so cute.’
‘Got to keep our sip going,’ Emily said, raising her eyebrows in Miriam’s direction.
Miriam shot Emily a warning look and turned to Ashley. ‘Of course. We would love to help.’
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