Bound by a Child. Katherine Garbera
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playing a game with her.
She closed her eyes and let herself experience the embrace of a man who made her want to forget she was a Chandler, and just enjoy being a woman.
His mouth was warm, and he tasted good. So good she never wanted the kiss to end. She shifted to get closer to him, but he kept the distance between them and she realized she was in danger of losing this bet. She hadn’t anticipated having to fight her own urges while she kissed him.
She tried to think of Allan, tried to stem the need welling up inside her to feel his solid chest pressed against hers. Tried to forget that she’d seen him shirtless enough times to know that he had solid pecs and a well-developed six-pack. Tried to forget that the man was seriously ripped.
She was losing it and losing the challenge. But then she felt the barest movement of his fingers against her neck. The tracing of a pattern that sent shivers down her spine and electric tingles through her entire body. Dammit, she thought, as every nerve ending started to pulse in time with her heartbeat.
She reached for his head. Tunneled her fingers through his thick hair and pulled him closer. She thrust her tongue deep into his mouth and forced him to take her. Reminded him that she was in control of this desire and this embrace.
But then he answered back and she was once again adrift. Forced to forget about wagers and feuds and every single thing except the way his mouth felt against hers and the way he made her wish this kiss would never end.
She rubbed her thumb against the base of his neck in a small circle and felt his heartbeat quicken. She took her time spreading her fingers out and enjoying the feel of his scalp under her hand, until she shifted forward and forced his head to the side, where she could take more control of their embrace.
But it was no longer about power or winning. Now she was kissing him because the taste of him was addictive. She’d never forget this one moment for years to come; she knew it with bone-deep certainty. The way he felt with just her hands in his hair and her lips on his. The way his tongue felt deep in her mouth as the smell of his aftershave surrounded her.
The dreams and desires she’d forced aside for too long came rushing up to her and she saw a chance to have everything she’d ever wanted. A man who could make her feel real desire and an out to walk away from the gaming world once and for all. All she’d have to do was give up everything she’d made herself into as an adult.
She’d have to lose to Allan. She’d have to show him that she could be vulnerable, and she’d have to admit it all out loud.
She sucked his lower lip into her mouth and bit down, and then rubbed her tongue over it to soothe it. She didn’t think she could do that. But when she felt his hands tightening in her hair for a moment and a low groan issued from the back of his throat, she realized she might not have to.
He pulled his mouth from hers. She opened her eyes to look up into his intense gaze, and shook from what she saw there. He might want to pretend that she was nothing more than an old enemy to him, but the truth was there in those dilated pupils and in the flush across his cheekbones.
She almost cursed out loud as she realized there was no winner in this. No outcome that could be decided other than the truth. She was attracted to him. And though she’d hoped that maybe kissing him would distract her from the lonely feeling in her soul, it hadn’t worked. In fact, she really wanted to just curl up next to him and forget about challenges and the world outside, and take some comfort in his arms.
If he hadn’t made this a contest and if she’d been a different sort of woman—the kind who was okay being emotional and needy—then she’d be able to just rest her head on his shoulder and admit that she hadn’t ever felt this scared and alone before.
“So...” he said. “That was more than I expected.”
“Me, too,” she admitted. “I guess we underestimated how much we’d enjoy each other.”
“I sure did. Tonight especially, I...I enjoyed kissing you, Jessi.”
“Me, too, Allan. I don’t think you’re my archnemesis anymore.”
“That’s good. So what are we going to do about this? Is it just grief? Did we turn to each other because our friends are gone?”
She shrugged. A part of her wanted to say yes and make this about the tragedy that had brought them both together. But she knew that would be a lie. And lying even to herself was something she didn’t like to do.
“I really don’t know,” she admitted.
“Me, either. I have always been able to... Never mind. The real question is what are we going to do about it?”
She didn’t have an answer. There wasn’t a clear solution. He had surprised her and made her realize that there was more to this man than she’d previously thought. Because if he’d been all ego, then he would have swaggered away from her. But he was sitting across from her, looking just as perplexed as she was.
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