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her ribs as it did because of the ghastly London traffic on the streets all around her. Because of the traffic, and not this mix of fear and expectation, anticipation and—she could scarcely admit it to herself, she could barely allow that it was true on any level—desire.
She thrust that from her mind. For the rest of the drive she braced herself for the impact of seeing him again—and was not at all prepared for the rush of disappointment she felt when she didn’t.
He wasn’t there to meet her. He wasn’t there at all.
That first day, and every day that week, she met with a team of solicitors. At least eight of them, gathered around the large, gleaming, probably ancient and frighteningly expensive table in the elegant dining room of Rafe’s extremely fashionable town house in a neighborhood of central London so impossibly wealthy that hereditary fortunes seemed to hang in the air, like ripe fruit on bountiful trees.
Angel had felt distinctly underdressed and unworthy simply exiting the sleek silver car when it rolled to a stop at the curb. As if the pavement itself rejected the likes of her. As if the neighborhood was judging her as she stood there, trying not to gape about her in awe and a kind of anticipatory wonder; as if the desperately lofty Georgian town houses that ringed the famous and well-photographed square, with their impressive facades and storied, monied histories, were looking down their figurative noses at her and her grand plans to rise so far above her station.
She knew that was all in her own head. She was equally certain, however, that the forbidding and encompassing censure of the assembled collection of solicitors was not.
“I thought I was meeting Rafe,” she said when she took the seat she was waved into with something just short of actual courtesy, and looked around at the blank wall of uniformly condemning male faces. She was only happy that her voice remained steady.
“We are the earl’s legal team,” the most visibly disapproving, most outwardly judgmental one said from his position at the head of the scrum. “We are here to represent the earl’s interests and, naturally, to protect yours.” His fine, patrician nose let out a single, pointed sniff, a veritable masterpiece of judgment swiftly and irrevocably rendered. “Miss Tilson.”
Angel smiled thinly, feeling far more raw and exposed than she should. More raw and exposed than she’d ever allow herself to show these haughty, self-important men.
“No need to say my name as if it hurts your mouth,” she said sweetly, leaning against the stiff back of the chair to brace herself, knowing full well it would look casual and assuming to the men frowning at her. “It will be Countess soon enough.”
Upon reflection, it did occur to her that a comment like that no doubt cemented the entire legal team’s already low opinion of her in one fell swoop. But there was no taking it back, and she told herself it was better to get on with the whole of the inevitable judgments and the snide glances from the start. The excruciatingly chilly reception of the solicitor brigade was, after all, a pale shadow of the reaction she could expect from the press. From the world. Like mother, like daughter, and so on.
So she simply accepted it. And signed.
And signed.
There were reams upon reams of documents. Towering stacks of them. Many, many duplicate copies. There were contracts to go over clause by mind-numbing clause, and then question and answer periods for each one of them. Yes, she understood the meaning of the word dependant. No, she did not foresee any issues arising from compliance with rider B, clause 8. And on. And on. There were a thousand little details before the Eighth Earl of Pembroke could marry that, apparently, had to be raised and then handled accordingly by a fleet of trained professionals assigned to each separate, extremely overanalyzed minor point in question. The definition of adultery. The consequences thereof. The schooling of any and all heirs. The discharge of debts
Her debts, to be clear.
Cheques were written to Chantelle’s credit card company, and to the letting agency that rented Angel her flat. Angel was required only to sign where bidden to sign, and to divulge all the information requested when asked for it. Her entire financial as well as personal history, for example, while the phalanx all around her took copious judgmental notes and requested additional documentation.
It was all so practical, so cold-blooded, Angel thought, on something like the eighth day, sipping at the tea that was perpetually at her elbow, always steaming hot, and always accompanied by a tempting array of small, perfectly formed pastries. The constant perfection of the tea and pastries reminded her why she was doing this, should the wall of dreary dark suits all about her tempt her to forget. The tea and pastries represented the perfect, carefree life she was about to start living, for which this purgatory of papers was no more than a necessary precursor.
And this approach to a marriage put everything on the table, didn’t it? Why suffer through the traditional trials of the first year of a marriage when it could all be dealt with so efficiently in advance? You only had to check your more tender feelings at the door, and every possible area of future contention between you and your spouse-of-convenience could be ironed out well before any vows were exchanged.
What could be better? she asked herself. What could be more rational, more reasonable? She was delighted with herself that she was approaching this new phase of her life in so pragmatic and thoughtful a fashion. She was.
“I was under the impression that British courts did not, historically, look kindly on prenuptial agreements,” she said at one point, as she eyed yet another stack of papers in front of her.
“There is significant debate on that issue in the legal community,” the nearest lawyer snapped.
Angel only smiled.
She told herself she didn’t mind when she was trotted off to Rafe’s personal physician and asked to subject herself to a comprehensive set of physical exams, including a great battery of blood tests and other more sensitive procedures. She didn’t ask what they were testing for, because, of course, she knew. How had it never occurred to her to wonder about how this side of things would work? She shouldn’t be at all surprised. Naturally, Rafe wanted to be sure that she was both fertile and disease-free. He wanted to get his money’s worth, didn’t he?
She had absolutely no reason at all to feel hollow inside, she told herself fiercely. Every night when she was home alone in the flat that looked dingier by the day, and every morning as she sat in the back of a car so expensive its price had made her gag slightly when she’d looked up similar models online. She had signed up for this. This was what this kind of arrangement looked like. It was all very thorough. It made sense.
This was, at the end of the day, exactly what she wanted.
Wasn’t it?
She saw him, finally, almost ten full days into the tests and contracts and explanation of clauses. Angel walked through the high-ceilinged foyer of the distractingly elegant town house, leaving for the day after having spent hours signing away her rights to any and all fortunes that Rafe might or might not settle upon the children they might or might not produce in the course of their marriage, which might or might not last any significant amount of time. Over and over again, on all the necessary copies. Just as she’d done every day so far, in one form or another.
He did not speak. He only stood in the arched doorway to what she’d been told was a reception room of some kind. She might not have seen him at all, so completely still was he, and so fully did he blend into the darkness of the unlit room behind him. But she felt an odd shiver skate down the back of her neck. She turned her head, and just like before in the ballroom of the Palazzo Santina, there was nothing at all but his cool gray gaze.
She stopped walking. She slowly pivoted. Without meaning to move, she took a step closer to him, then caught herself. He stood there in the doorway, watching her, more solid than she remembered, as if he stood firm and commanding on the ground. As if he demanded no less than that from the air he breathed. Ruthless, she thought, and had no idea where that word had come from. When had she ever seen him be anything but kind, if, perhaps, severe? No matter how he hinted he might be otherwise?