Lindsey Kelk 8-Book ‘I Heart’ Collection. Lindsey Kelk
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knew she was paying attention when the M&Ms she was throwing down her throat missed her mouth and clattered against the window. ‘Angie, what the hell?’
‘Well, things didn’t go well with James and so I came back and had a couple of drinks.’ I really hadn’t thought this through. How could I phrase this? ‘A lot of drinks, actually. And then I went upstairs for more drinks.’
‘When we get back to New York, I swear I’m putting you in AA,’ Jenny muttered. ‘Or at least getting you one of those Lindsay Lohan ankle monitors. You picked up a guy in the bar?’
‘Mm-hmm,’ I traced the edge of my big toenail and wondered when I’d chipped my pedicure. ‘Jenny, I’m such an idiot.’
‘Angie,’ Jenny scooted across the bed and put an arm around my shoulders. ‘People do stuff when they’re stressed, calm down. What was it your mom said to me when I lost Kirsten Dunst’s dry cleaning? Worse things happen at sea?’
‘I think in this instance my mum would say, “Angela you great big dirty slag, I can’t believe you shagged the barman”,’ I took a deep breath and looked up. This time Jenny couldn’t even pick up the M&Ms; her hand was frozen in mid-air.
‘Joe?’
‘Joe.’
I wrinkled my nose, trying to force my prickling tears back into my eyes.
‘You slept with Joe?’
The arm around my shoulders had got very tense all of a sudden.
‘I think so.’ I picked out a red M&M and passed it to her. ‘I just woke up and, I don’t remember, but he’s in my bed and his clothes are not.’
‘He’s still there now?’ Suddenly she was on her feet. ‘He’s in your room?’
‘Yes, hence my being in here,’ I replied, steadying myself on the bed. Fast movement, queasy stomach. Badness. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Angie, you were so drunk you don’t even remember what happened, right?’ she bolted towards the door. I followed as quickly as I could. Not that quickly. ‘And he was working so he was sober, at least he should have been. And I hardly think you threw yourself at him, you don’t exactly have any precedent for one-night stands. I’m gonna kill him.’
‘Jenny, wait,’ I chased her down the corridor, pulling my T-shirt as far over my pants as I could. ‘I don’t even know what happened, please don’t—’
But it was too late: she’d swiped her key card and thrown open my room door before I could catch her.
‘OK assface,’ I heard her yell as I staggered through the door.
‘Jenny, please.’
But aside from the wild-eyed brunette slamming into the bathroom, it was empty. No barmen in the bed; no closeted gay movie stars in the bathroom: no one.
‘Jenny, will you please calm down and talk to me?’ I closed the door behind me, giving the same couple that had passed me in my pants earlier a polite wave. ‘Please?’
‘Angie, I just can’t believe he would do this,’ she said, dropping to her knees and checking under the bed.
‘I don’t think he’s under there.’ I stepped around the pile of bottles by the mini-bar and retrieved the last standing Diet Coke. ‘As embarrassed as he might be about waking up in my bed.’
‘He had better be on a plane to Mexico,’ Jenny said, clambering back to her feet.
‘I’m not that bad.’ I closed the curtains, still feeling a little mogwai-ish. Turned out bright lights and eating-slash-drinking after midnight were bad for me too. ‘Although I’m guessing it wasn’t my best performance.’
‘Oh shit, Angie,’ Jenny stopped for a split second. ‘That’s so not what I mean. Don’t you even feel bad about this for a second. He totally took advantage of you and for that I’m going to end him.’
‘You’re not pissed off?’
‘Why would I be pissed?’
‘Because I’m a big slag who can’t remember doing it with the boy you were planning on doing it with?’
Jenny laughed. ‘Honey, I think we already agreed that I’m so not ready to do it with anyone. Of course I’m not pissed – not with you, anyway. You’re my best friend. You do stupid stuff. I sort it out. This is our thing, it’s the thing that we do.’
‘This is true,’ I agreed, starting to sip the water. At least the drama had taken my mind off my hangover. Until now. ‘I just can’t believe I’m so stupid. What am I going to tell Alex?’
‘You’re not going to tell Alex anything,’
‘But I can’t lie to him.’
‘And what’s going to happen? Assuming he comes to his senses over all this James Jacobs shit and I allow him to get back with you, if you tell him he’ll break up with you all over again.’ Jenny pulled me over to the bed. ‘It’s not like you’re getting a free pass, you still have to feel like a piece of crap, but telling Alex is the stupidest thing you can do. Yeah, you’ll clear your conscience but he’ll never ever forgive you. You want to lose him over a drunk one-night stand?’
‘Not really. Not if I haven’t already lost him over a nonexistent affair. I can’t believe this has happened.’ I buried my face in a pillow. ‘As if things weren’t shitty enough.’
‘So, you keeping your mouth shut and my kicking Joe’s ass off the continent aside, what happened with James yesterday?’ Jenny softened for a moment. ‘He wouldn’t speak to Mary?’
I shook my head. ‘He wouldn’t risk it. To be honest, I can completely understand. He doesn’t really know me; it’s not like we’re lifelong besties, is it? And I’m asking him to risk everything he’s worked for by confessing this huge secret that will completely change his life. I suppose there’s a bit of difference between him losing his job and me losing mine. Who am I compared to him, really?’
‘You’re someone who’s telling the truth. That counts for something.’ Jenny picked up my phone and flicked through my messages.
‘Not enough,’ I said. ‘Mary said she was going to give the Icon interview the go-ahead if I didn’t get back to her last night. I didn’t get back to her last night. God, how have I managed to get myself into this state?’
‘The state where we’re two hot single girls.’ She gave me my phone back. ‘‘And you’re about to make a ton of money from selling a sordid sex story? Awesome.’
‘I do love that you always find a bright side,’ I said, giving her a squeeze.
‘That’s my job,’ she replied. ‘Alongside my new stellar styling career. Tell me I can style the shoot?’
‘If there has to be a shoot, you can style the shoot,’ I choked. And then burst into tears.
Jenny pulled me in for a full-on, nose-squishing, tear-choking hug. ‘Angela Clark, what am I going to do with you?’
Once she’d run me a bath, removed all sharp edges and laid out a comfortably noncontroversial outfit on the bed, Jenny left the room, allegedly to call Tessa about a styling meeting that afternoon, but I had a sneaking suspicion that it was to go and find, beat and kill Joe. Luckily, there was altogether too much going off in my head for me to process any of it – James, Alex, Mary and – not least of all – my very first-ever one-night stand, which had been so incredibly fantastic that I couldn’t remember any of it and he had vanished off the face of the earth.