Rags To Riches: His Wish, Her Command. Annie West
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for reassurance that what he was about to say would not be rejected.
‘You are a very attractive woman, Ella Bailey Martinez. The kind of woman a guy like me could fall for very easily. And cause a lot of damage in the process.’
His hand slowly lifted up her fingers to his mouth, and his warm lips pressed against each of her fingertips, one by one, sending delicious shivers of tender longing sweeping through her.
It was the sweetest tender touch she had been missing, and the instant Seb lowered her hand and released her fingers she knew that she wanted him to do it again. And again.
It had been so long since she had been held like this, touched and caressed like this, even before Chris died when their love life had died down to the point of a few absent-minded pecks on the cheek when he remembered.
There had been nobody else since.
Seb was like water in a desert. And she wanted to drink her fill.
‘I need to know if you feel the same way,’ he asked. ‘Or is it only me?’
She had sensed the attraction since the moment they had met on the dusty road, but putting it into words was harder than she expected.
He needed her to tell him how she felt. He needed her.
And it was terrifying. What was going to happen? Was it possible that they could have a future together? Could she let this man into her life and take the consequences? For herself and for Dan?
Yes, Seb had been kind to Dan, and she had been surprised that her little boy had taken to Seb so quickly, but her simple life in rural France was poles apart from Seb’s high-flying world.
What had her mother always said when she struggled to learn how to sing a new ballad? ‘Go with your heart first. Follow your heart.’
Her fingers stroked his cheek and his eyes fluttered in pleasure before opening with such desire that every cell in her body screamed, ‘This one. Choose this one.’
She grinned and lifted her shoulders into a slight shrug. ‘I’m scared.’
Seb must have been holding his breath because he shuddered out a half-smile before hugging her closer. ‘Me too.’ His hand caressed her waist and she sensed the air change a little before he braced himself with the big question. ‘Are you scared for Dan? Or is it Dan’s father?’
She closed her eyes. She’d never talked about Christobal to anyone. Certainly not to Nicole or Sandrine. As far as they knew she had been a devoted wife who was still mourning the loss of her soulmate. The truth was too hard. And way too difficult.
Only now that she tried to recall the personal conversations with Seb in the short time she had known him, she realised that her husband had never come up. Seb had no way of understanding how she felt about the man she had loved once.
Her stomach cramped in anxiety and he instantly seemed to sense her resistance.
‘You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Being a single mother is hard enough. I know that Dan has to come first in your life.’
Now he was being sympathetic! This was totally wrong. She did not want sympathy from Seb. Just the opposite. And she especially did not want him to think that memories of Chris were still influencing her choices.
‘No. It’s okay. After Chris died in a car crash, my life was in turmoil.’ Ella focused on a spot in the pattern of the patchwork quilt as Seb squeezed her hand once more in encouragement. ‘But you know the hardest part? I knew that I was lying to myself and everybody else. Christobal and I were so in love when we married. It was a magical time for both of us, and I will never forget it. He was really making a name for himself as a conductor around the world and I loved travelling with him to rehearsals.’ She flashed a smile at Seb before refocusing on moving her hands in his.
Her head fell onto Seb’s chest. ‘Only… Once I got pregnant I couldn’t go with him on long overseas tours, and we…we drifted apart.’
Ella sucked in a breath and concentrated on the sound of the crackling fire and Seb’s heart beating under his shirt to steady herself enough to go on.
‘Chris adored Dan and we both agreed that he had to come first. We were both professionals. We had no illusions about how hard it was going to be when he was away so much. We just didn’t expect our marriage to fall apart so completely and so quickly in the process. The truth is…’ And her voice faltered, before she steadied herself to explain, ‘The truth is that for the last two years of marriage we were living more like brother and sister.’
Her head lifted in emphasis. ‘Oh, we cared about each other. Very much! And he loved Dan! We never stopped being friends, and I think we made a good show of pretending to be a happy couple, but in private we both knew that our marriage was over.’
Seb kissed her forehead before replying, ‘I am so sorry.’
She sighed and nodded once. ‘Me too. Christobal was a wonderful man who had a brilliant future ahead of him, and I still mourn him and miss having him in my life. Only, not so much as my husband, but more like the best kind of brother a girl could wish for. He was great company. Funny. Talented. He was the best friend I ever had. I miss him every day.’
‘I don’t understand. You are still wearing your wedding ring and answering to your married name,’ Seb replied, and Ella could feel a new awkwardness between them and he moved slightly back on the sofa, creating a physical as well as a mental barrier.
‘I was proud that he chose me as his wife and the mother of his child. As for now?’ Ella shook her head. ‘People know me as a grieving young widow and my efforts at making a new life haven’t gone too well, so I let them believe it for Dan’s sake as well as mine. I hate being such a hypocrite.’
‘You have nothing to be ashamed about,’ Seb replied, his brows coming together into a frown. ‘People change. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t care about each other or your son.’
‘I feel more disappointment than shame. I knew all about touring! How hard a life it was! But I believed that we would have a marriage like my parents. They have been married thirty-five years and are still so much in love it hurts. They can’t bear to be separated.’
Tears started to prick the back of Ella’s eyes now, and she straightened her back on the sofa and tried to slide away, but Seb brought his legs up, blocking her escape.
‘I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere until you get those demons off your chest.’
‘What if I don’t want to talk about it?’ Ella replied, her voice bumbling with more indignation and frustration than she had intended. ‘I’m not proud of having a failed marriage. And I’m even less proud of pretending to the world that it was perfect. Because it wasn’t at the end.’
‘You shared a wonderful few years together. Is that right? Is that true?’
She hesitated, already sensing where Seb was going with this question. For years she had felt the pain of never knowing what might have happened if Christobal had not jumped into that particular taxi cab on that particular day. Her feelings were so mixed up. Guilt. Regret. Disappointment. And fear. But one thing she was clear about was the answer to that question. She had loved Christobal and for a precious time he had loved her. ‘Yes. Yes, that is true.’
Seb slipped off the sofa and leant on the rug in front of the fire so that he was facing her directly. ‘Then celebrate that fact. And move on.’
Her mouth dropped open. ‘Move on? How do you propose I do that when I have a six-year-old little boy to take care of? If you want to feel sorry for someone, save your sympathy for Dan. He is the one who will never know his dad!’
She was shaking now, her voice harsh and angry despite being little more than a whisper. ‘Dan needs me to be strong for him. I’m all he has.’
Seb reached forward and clasped her hands in his, before she could move