DEAR READER LETTER

      Years ago, just after my family and I moved to the West Coast, I was lucky to become friends with an amazing woman, Malibu City Council member and clinical psychologist Laura Rosenthal. As you may have guessed, Laura is the inspiration for the doctor character in THE FAVORITE DAUGHTER. One evening Laura joined us for dinner on a night my husband and I were discussing the baffling character traits of someone we knew. We just couldn’t figure this person out.

      “Well, that sounds like a classic narcissist,” Laura said.

      At that, the light bulb turned on and it has been shining brightly in both my imagination, and in real life, ever since.

      Maybe you’re more aware of this than I was, but narcissists are everywhere in our society. Some estimate narcissists comprise 10 percent of the population and experts believe access to social media is creating more: Selfies are a narcissist’s best friend.

      Although it may seem terrifying to some that I enjoy getting inside the heads of these types of people in my most recent novels, to me, it’s cathartic. Since first learning about narcissists from Laura all those years ago, I’ve somehow become blessed with a superpower: I can spot a narcissist. I’m not sure it’s a gift or a curse, but it’s true.

      I also enjoy writing stories with unreliable narrators, and Jane Harris, like Paul Strom in BEST DAY EVER, is at her core a very unreliable person, among other things. These characters are obsessed with perception. Everything they show to the world is carefully calculated to portray perfection, even in their marriages, even when their lives may be falling apart. Narcissists suffer from a self-esteem problem coupled with low empathy. Failure is unacceptable, especially with their family, where they expect unflinching loyalty and subservience. Grandiose self-worth, vanity and entitlement are the foundation of the disorder. When any of this is challenged, rage is the result.

      A special, terrifying subset of narcissist are those called “malignant narcissists.” Erich Fromm first coined the term in 1964 to describe the “quintessence of evil.” Some of the most difficult narcissists to spot are malignant narcissists who are mothers. She often gets away with her abuse because she is unseen to all but those she controls, her children, and no one wants to imagine a mother could be the monster in her own home.

      No one wants to imagine that, except as a starting point for a novel, perhaps.

      I asked my friend Laura if therapy works with narcissists. Her answer: It’s a pretty tough one to fix because they cannot see themselves for who they are and cannot take responsibility. When things go wrong they blame other people, so therapy is tough. They aren’t motivated to change. They like themselves just the way they are.

      I hope you enjoyed Jane’s story. She wants you to believe she is the perfect mother, a loving wife, a connected and compassionate member of her community. Did she convince you? And who is her favorite daughter?

      Thanks for reading,

       Kaira