Irresistible Greeks Collection. Кэрол Мортимер
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As she stared, his jaw bunched and tightened. He ran the tip of his tongue between his lips, then pressed them together again.
“Alex.” She nodded carefully, determinedly giving nothing away, particularly encouragement. The last thing she needed was to fight this battle again.
For a long moment he didn’t speak, either, and Daisy wondered if she ought to just step around him, head home. Maybe he’d just been walking in the park, had happened on her by accident. God knew perverse things like that could happen.
“You were right,” he said abruptly. “What you said.”
Daisy blinked. What she’d said? What had she said? Uncertainly she shook her head.
“That I didn’t want to love. That I pushed people away.” He answered the question before she even had to ask. He said the words quickly, as if he needed to get past them. Then he said again more slowly, “I didn’t want to. Then.” Pale green eyes met hers.
Then? Which meant … what? Daisy felt herself tense, but didn’t move. She searched his gaze, tried to hear the words he never said.
Then he took a breath and said them. “I loved my brother,” he said, the words coming out on a harsh breath. “And I thought I killed him.”
“What?” She stared at him, aghast.
He shook his head. “We had a fight … over a car. A toy. I was eight,” he said harshly. “And I gave him a bloody nose. He bled and bled. They said he had leukemia. I thought …” He shook his head, anguished. “I wasn’t even nine,” he said. “I didn’t know.”
“Oh, Alex.” She just looked at him. She’d known about his brother. She hadn’t known this.
“He said I didn’t. But he just kept getting sicker. And … then he died.” Now she could hear him dragging the words out. “My parents were shell-shocked. Destroyed. They couldn’t help each other. They couldn’t even look at me.”
“It wasn’t your fault!”
“I know that now. But we don’t talk much in my family, not about …” He swallowed, then looked past her over her shoulder, staring into the distance, his eyes bright with unshed tears. Whatever he was seeing, Daisy was sure it wasn’t in Central Park.
He brought his gaze back to hers, his eyes filled with pain. “When I was ten years old I thought I’d killed my brother and ended our family.” His throat worked. “I loved all of them.”
And she had told him he didn’t love anyone.
“I’m sorry.” Her words came out as brokenly as his. She wanted to reach out, to touch his sleeve, to put her arms around him. She had no right. “I’m so sorry.”
He nodded almost imperceptibly. He took a breath and then another. “I put it away, shut it out of my mind, didn’t deal with it. I never talked to anyone about it—except you. Five years ago.”
Her eyes widened. “You never—?”
“No. I shut it all out.” There it was, the sharp hard edge. She could hear it. It was the way he always shut people out.
He bent his head. “But I couldn’t shut you out.” His voice was ragged. A faint smile touched his beautiful mouth.
“You certainly did,” Daisy reminded him. She remembered his words all too well.
Alex had the grace to grimace. “I tried,” he allowed. “Because you got under my skin. Made me feel things that scared the hell out of me.”
“What?” Daisy blinked, confused.
“I was … falling in love with you—even back then, that first night.” He pulled a hand out of his pocket and rubbed it against the back of his neck. “I was falling in love with you,” he repeated, wonderingly, as if he was amazed he could admit it not only to her but to himself. “And it scared me to death. When you started talking about it like it was a good thing—loving—all I could think was, ‘I’ve got to get out of here. I’ll destroy her, too.’” His tone was harsh, anguished. And when she looked close she could see his eyes glistening. He blinked rapidly, then gave a quick shake of his head. “So I did.” He swallowed. “Hell of a lot safer that way.”
Daisy digested that. Drew in a breath, then another, and cocked her head, then asked him gently, “Was it?”
A corner of his mouth quirked up. “It was until I ran into you again back in September. Then, short answer—no. You’re under my skin. I can’t get rid of you. Wherever I go, wherever I am, there you are.” He made it sound awful, but Daisy suddenly couldn’t stop smiling.
Despairing, Alex shook his head. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind, though God knows, I tried. I told myself I needed a woman who didn’t make me feel all the things you made me feel. But you must have noticed, I couldn’t stay away.”
“Every time I thought I’d seen the last of you, you came back,” Daisy realized. “It made me nervous.”
“Because of Charlie?”
“Partly. But really, I suppose, because I’d … never quite got over you.” She didn’t want to admit it, but if they were being honest, she owed him that. The heat of his gaze was warming her, making her tingle all the way to her toes. At the same time she was still trying to get a grip on the notion that five years ago he’d been falling in love with her, too.
“I wanted you as soon as I saw you again,” he told her.
“On your terms.”
“Hell, yes. Safer that way. And Caroline was safe. I never felt for her the tiniest bit of what I feel for you. I never wanted her. Never missed her. I knew I could live without her. I can’t live without you.”
“Alex.” She touched his cheek with her palm and he turned his face to press his lips into it, his kiss making her shiver.
“I couldn’t ask her to marry me,” he admitted. “I was going to, but I never could.”
“You must have realized she needed someone else.”
He reached up a hand to press her palm against his cheek. He looked down into her eyes, his full of an emotion she’d never dared hope to see there. “Yeah, maybe that was it.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “No, damn it. I was still in love with you.”
Daisy stared at him in astonishment.
“And then I discovered Charlie.”
“And you wanted Charlie.”
“Yes. I love Charlie,” Alex said with an intensity that made her believe it. “Not just because he reminds me of Vass, though God knows he does. I love him because he’s yours. And mine. Because he’s bright and inquisitive and fun and just knowing he’s alive gives me joy.” He shook his head slowly. “And I would give my life for him—and for you. I will go to the ends of the earth for you. I will slay dragons for you. I will get hurt for you. I swear it, Daisy.” There was wonder in his voice.
Daisy opened her mouth, then closed it again. She didn’t know what to say. Her eyes brimmed. So did her heart. Dear God, she’d loved this man for years, but never more than she loved him now, now that he had discovered the love he was capable of, the love he was willing to dare to share.
He reached out and touched her cheek, stroking away a tear she didn’t even know was there. Then he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close, let her feel the pounding of his heart, the warmth of his love, the shelter of his embrace.
She leaned against him, letting herself sink into him, loving his strength, his steadiness. She rested her head in the crook between his shoulder and his chin.
“I would have been here sooner,” Alex went on. He spoke softly, his lips against her hair. “But I didn’t think you probably wanted to talk to me again after what you said the last time.”