Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 – 9: The Darquesse Trilogy. Derek Landy
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do we have a threat,” Ghastly said when they were gone, “now we have a deadline, too.”
Ravel sank back into his chair. “This is going to be trouble.”
“Good shot,” Eliza Scorn said.
Christophe Nocturnal nocked another arrow in his bow as they walked through the dark forest. “They say man is the most dangerous prey, but the fact is that rabbits are much harder to hit. Still, there’s nothing quite like the panicked squeal a mortal makes when they know they’re about to die. It’s quite relaxing, in its own way.”
“I had heard you were quite the hunter, and now I see all the stories are true.”
“I’ve been doing this since I was a boy,” he said. “My father used to take us out, me and my four brothers.”
“I didn’t know you had any siblings.”
“I don’t. When we reached our teenage years, my father threw us all into a pit and announced that only one of us was coming out alive. I was the smallest of my brothers, but the most ruthless.”
“What a charming story.”
“It was a different time back then. A simpler time.” Nocturnal settled into an archer’s stance, pulled the bowstring back, and let fly. The arrow caught the hobbling mortal in the back. The mortal fell, face down. “What do you want, Eliza?”
“Oh, it’s not just what I want,” said Scorn. “It’s what you want, too. We should be allies. Combining the Church of the Faceless with the church you lead in America, we could get this world back on track, you and I.”
Nocturnal chuckled. “And there, you see, we have our problem.”
“Oh?”
“My church doesn’t need you, Eliza. We’re strong enough as we are. We’re funded and resourced by seventy per cent of those mages who worship the Faceless Ones. Aligning ourselves with your church would not give us the rewards it would give you.”
“Ah, but I think you’re deliberately ignoring some key facts. We have something you don’t – we have a Cradle of Magic. The Diablerie successfully brought through three Faceless Ones only a couple of years ago. We have a track record, as they say. We have credibility.”
“But you’re weak.”
“Compared to your organisation, perhaps. But we’re growing stronger. And I don’t say this to cause offence, but at least I’m not a wanted criminal.”
Nocturnal laughed. “No offence taken. To be honest, though, my renegade status has actually helped my church. The people I represent are nervous by nature, unwilling to proclaim their beliefs for all to hear. They look to me for leadership, as someone who isn’t afraid to stand up to the Sanctuaries.”
“And they’re also, I would expect, more than a little afraid of you?”
“Fear helps things run smoothly.”
“I would imagine so,” said Scorn. “But you didn’t come all this way to turn me down straight, now, did you?”
“No. No, I didn’t. I’m interested in your offer, with a few amendments.”
“Such as?”
“Your church is absorbed into mine, not the other way around. You would be kept on, naturally, but as my second in command.”
Scorn bristled. “I would have thought partners would be more fitting.”
“My people are nervous,” Nocturnal said. “They’d feel safer if they knew I was still in charge. Unfortunately, it is a requirement, not a request.”
“Of course. That... isn’t a problem.”
“And one other thing,” said Nocturnal. “Before we go ahead, the mages I represent would like one little favour. A demonstration of goodwill.”
“And that is?”
“They’ve all heard the stories of what happened when the Diablerie brought the Faceless Ones back. They heard about the girl, Valkyrie Cain, and how she used the Sceptre of the Ancients to kill two of our gods, and my people don’t think she should be allowed to get away with that.”
“What would you have me do, Christophe?”
“I would have you kill her.”
“She is under the protection of Skulduggery Pleasant. You know how dangerous it would be to risk—”
“She is the ultimate blasphemer, Eliza. She must be punished.”
Scorn considered it, then smiled. “Very well. Cain will die. And as it happens, I know just the person for the job.”
“You’re hurt,” it whispered.
“Oh, yes,” Valkyrie replied, keeping her voice low. “But physically all I have are cuts and bruises. Mentally? You just wait till you remember what happened to me tonight. Pay particular attention to Jerry Houlihan. It’ll stay with you. Believe me. So how were things here?”
The reflection got out of bed as Valkyrie undressed. “I had an uneventful few days,” it told her. “The most exciting thing was an hour-long lecture from the headmaster on taking our studies seriously. He said next year’s exams will arrive sooner than we think.”
“No, they won’t,” Valkyrie said, frowning. “They’ll arrive next year, exactly when we expect them.”
“That’s what I told him,” the reflection nodded. “I don’t think he’s comfortable with logic, because he didn’t look happy. He sent me to the Career Guidance counsellor, who asked me what I wanted to be after college.”
Valkyrie stowed her black clothes. “What did you say?”
“I told her I wanted to be a Career Guidance counsellor. She started crying, then accused me of mocking her. I told her if she wasn’t happy in her job then she should look at other options, then pointed out that I was already doing her job better than she was. She gave me detention.”
Valkyrie grinned. “You’re getting me into so much trouble.”
The reflection shrugged. “We keep being asked to fill out the college application forms. Getting thrown out of class is the only way I can think of to avoid it. Have you figured out how to solve this problem over the past few days?”
“Amazingly, no. My folks expect me to go to college and I don’t want to disappoint them, but...”
“But how long are you going to have to keep lying to them?” the reflection asked, finishing the thought.
“Yeah. It’d be nice to give them the Stephanie they want while I’m off doing my Valkyrie thing, but let’s face it, I can’t keep you around for ever, can I?”
“I’ve already been active longer than any other reflection anyone has ever heard of. I wasn’t designed for