Modern Romance January 2020 Books 5-8. Heidi Rice
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time with anyone over the last seven years. He had preferred to be alone with his thoughts, with his regrets, with his guilt. Not just his guilt over Susannah.
Robbie caused him more guilt than he could handle and had done so for more years than he cared to count. His worry about his younger brother stretched back as far as childhood when their mother had left. Logan had done everything he could to shield Robbie from the sudden loss of their mother but he hadn’t succeeded.
But when had he ever succeeded in a relationship of any kind?
Spending time with Layla opened up a new world of connection and emotional intimacy—that thing he had so assiduously avoided even in his relationship with his fiancée. Getting to know Layla on a deeper level had made him realise what his relationship with Susannah had been missing.
It was hard to get his head around the fact they were now officially married. It didn’t seem real but it was—he had the marriage certificate to prove it. It was there in black and white.
On paper.
Layla looked up from examining the menu and frowned. ‘Is something wrong?’
Logan rearranged his features into an impassive mask. ‘No. Why?’
She closed the menu. ‘You keep staring at me and frowning.’
He gave an on-off smile. ‘Sorry. I was thinking.’
‘About what?’
‘About us.’ Even saying the word ‘us’ made something in him sit up like a meerkat and take notice.
She lowered her gaze to focus on the candle flickering on the table between them. ‘It’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I mean, us being married.’ Her gaze came back to his. ‘But at least we’ve saved Bellbrae. That’s what matters most.’
‘It’s not the only thing that matters,’ Logan said. ‘It’s important you aren’t too badly inconvenienced by our arrangement. I know a year is a long time but once we annul our marriage, you’ll be free to move on with your life.’
The waiter approached with their drinks to take their meal order at that point. Logan tried not to think about Layla’s life after their marriage ended. It would be strange seeing her marry someone else one day, perhaps even have a family. And if she moved away, she might not even be a part of Bellbrae any more. He couldn’t imagine the Highland estate without her. The place would seem empty and colourless. Bleak.
Once the waiter had left, Layla picked up her wineglass and gently twirled the contents. ‘My life is my business. That’s all I care about. I want to be successful and self-sufficient.’
‘Do you want a family as well one day?’ Why was he asking when he didn’t want to know? He didn’t want to think about her as a mother of some other man’s babies. It was none of his business what she did with her life after their ‘marriage’ came to an end. No business at all.
Layla lifted one slim shoulder in a tiny shrug, a frown forming between her downcast eyes. ‘I’m not sure about that… Sometimes I think it would be wonderful to have a family. But other times I worry I could end up like my mother.’ She flicked him a veiled glance. ‘She married the wrong person. It not only ruined her life, it cut it short.’
Logan suspected there was a lot more to Layla’s background than she had let on. Her guardedness around the subject of her childhood was testament to that. He knew she had been in a car accident that had claimed her parents’ lives and caused her to be severely injured but he had a sense she hadn’t had an easy life even before that terrible tragedy. ‘Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?’
Layla took a sip of wine and then placed her glass back on the table. Her features were a battleground of conflicting emotions as if she was deciding whether to reveal or conceal. But after a long moment, she started speaking in a voice that throbbed with conviction.
‘My mother made a series of choices she might not have made if she’d been better supported. She came from a difficult background herself and then got caught up in a downward spiral of petty crime to lift herself out of poverty. One job would have broken the cycle, I’m sure of it. It would have given her independence and a sense of worth.’
‘Is that why you’re so keen to employ people from disadvantaged backgrounds?’ Logan asked.
‘Absolutely. They sometimes just need someone to believe in them.’ She tapped her hand on the table for emphasis. ‘To give them a fighting chance. My mother didn’t have anyone in her life who believed in her potential.’
‘What was your father like?’
A flash of anger lit her grey-green gaze and her mouth tightened. ‘He was a brute and a bully but my mother got completely taken in by him because he promised to give her a better life. He said all the charming things she wanted to hear but they were empty promises. She thought because he called her “babe” that he actually loved her. But when he started to show his true colours, she didn’t have the strength or self-esteem to stand up to him. The worst part was she drank and used drugs to escape his behaviour but in doing so became more like him.’
She released a ragged sigh and looked back at the candle flickering on the table, a hot flare of anger still smouldering in her gaze. ‘If I can save one woman from what happened to my mother, then all the hard work and sacrifice will be worth it.’
Logan reached for her hand across the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘I think it’s amazing what you’re doing with your business. It’s an honourable and compassionate approach that is innovative and enterprising. If you’d like me to help you with a business expansion plan, I can do that.’
She pulled her hand away and placed it on her lap, her expression defensive. Wary. ‘I’m not completely incompetent. I’ve run my business for the last couple of years without going bankrupt.’
‘I meant no offence, Layla. Good structure is vital in business expansion. A lot of small businesses fold when they try to expand too quickly. I have some skills in that area so the offer is on the table. Take it or leave it.’
Something softened in her tight expression. ‘I’ll think about it.’
A small silence passed.
‘What was your mother like?’ Layla asked.
The question blindsided Logan. He was so used to not thinking about his mother that it took him a moment to even bring her features to mind. Thinking about his mother made him think about himself and his brother as distraught children who didn’t understand why Mummy wasn’t coming back home. Why she never came back or never wanted to see them or even talk to them on the phone. It had been a brutal abandonment that had all but destroyed his father and changed Logan’s and Robbie’s lives for ever.
‘She was beautiful and charming,’ Logan said, stripping his voice of emotion. ‘If my father hadn’t destroyed all the photos of her, I could’ve shown you how beautiful she was.’
‘Aunt Elsie told me how gorgeous she was,’ Layla said. ‘And that your father fell madly in love with her the moment he met her.’
‘My father was completely captivated by her. They had a whirlwind courtship and I was born a few months after their wedding. I don’t think it was ever a happy marriage but when Robbie came four years after me, things really started to come unstuck.’ He picked up his wineglass. ‘One day, I came home from school to find she had left.’ He drank from his glass and put it back down on the table with an audible thud. ‘That morning we’d had a mother. That afternoon we didn’t. No goodbye. No note. Not even a phone call. She’d gone to live with her lover in America. I haven’t seen her or heard from her since.’
Layla frowned in concern. ‘It must have been devastating for you both. You were so terribly young—what? Both under ten?’
‘Seven and four.’ Logan’s tone was flat. ‘We didn’t understand why she left. We both thought we must have done something to make her