Six Australian Heroes. Margaret Way
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I am discovering. So I will stay with you tonight and endeavour to give you lots of the only thing you want from me. But, come tomorrow morning, that will be that. Our ways will part, never to be crossed again. That’s my counter proposal. If you don’t agree, then I’m afraid it will be quits today at your door.’
Laura sucked in sharply, her emotions in immediate disarray. So much for her façade of cool control!
Fury that he’d accused her of callously using him mingled with panic at the possibility that she would never be with him again. Which would be the case if she didn’t agree to his ‘counter proposal’. But how could she agree now? He’d already made her sound like some sex-crazed fool who’d thrown away any chance of a real relationship in exchange for a fortnight’s sex. To agree to just one night of the same seemed so much worse.
She wasn’t that desperate, was she?
‘I’m sorry you think so badly of me,’ she said, her voice sounding calm despite a trembling starting deep inside. ‘I was just trying to be honest with you with my proposal, and not hypocritical. I don’t think you can blame me for suggesting a sex-only affair when you yourself said you couldn’t offer me any form of commitment. But I can see now that such an arrangement won’t work for me, even for one more night. It is far better that we call it quits today, then you can move on the way you say you always do, and so will I. Hopefully, the next time I find a man I fancy, he’ll want more than a temporary relationship.’
Ryan clenched his teeth down hard in his jaw as he listened to her quite stunning rejection of his proposal. And there he’d been, thinking she would not dare knock him back, not when she’d virtually admitted she was mad for him. He’d imagined that he’d backed her into a corner where he’d be the one in control and she would come begging for more. Which was what he wanted—more of Laura, naked and willing, in his arms. But on his terms, not hers. A man did have his pride.
Unfortunately, pride did have its downside. He was the one backed into a corner now. And there’d be no begging from his corner.
‘Fine,’ he bit out. ‘We’ll call it quits today.’
It was like a physical blow to Laura. She struggled not to cry out, then not to cry. Oh God, what had she done? Suddenly even one night with him was better than this … this emptiness.
‘I will leave it up to you to arrange for another lawyer to be sent to me every Friday afternoon,’ he went on, his voice sounding bitter. ‘I don’t care what excuse you give.’
‘All right,’ she said, her own voice sounding bleak.
‘Now, if you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk any more.’ And he turned on the radio, at the same time pressing whatever button it took for the roof automatically to go back into place.
Laura’s heart sank. The roof closing was like a sign that everything was over. They were over.
She turned her face away towards the passenger window so Ryan couldn’t see the tears filling her eyes.
IT STARTED to rain not long after they left the motorway, a grey drizzle which reflected the condition of Laura’s emotions. She ached to say something to take away the horribly strained silence which had permeated the car since their argument, but could not seem to find the courage to speak up.
Or was it common sense keeping her quiet?
If she were brutally honest, Laura suspected that if she opened her mouth she would start apologising wildly, then agreeing to whatever Ryan wanted just so that he wouldn’t drop her at her door. The thought of never seeing him again was appalling, so appalling that she began to wonder if she’d already fallen in love with him. It seemed unlikely, but why else would she feel so devastated? Surely it couldn’t still be just lust driving her feelings?
But, even as she speculated on the reason behind her despair, her eyes slid over to where Ryan’s hands were wrapped around the steering wheel. His hands were large, with long, strong fingers which had no doubt helped make him become a success as a goalkeeper. But none of that mattered to Laura. All she could think about when she looked at his hands was how gentle they’d been on her. Gentle, yet knowing. They’d explored all her orifices with stunning intimacy. She could feel them now, inside her, stroking, teasing, arousing.
Oh God, she thought as her body was suddenly overwhelmed by the most intense longing; her belly tightened as did her nipples. At least now I know, she thought wildly as hot blood roared around her veins, flushing her cheeks and making her break out into strangely chilling goose-bumps. Not love—still just lust.
She almost died of shame when he glanced over at her at that precise moment. It was impossible to hide the telling evidence of her flaming face. Impossible to look anything but what she was: desperate for him.
Yet he didn’t say a single word. He just stared at her for a long moment before returning his attention to the road. But she saw that his knuckles had whitened, and she could feel an answering tension in him. He knew what she wanted, and he wanted the same thing.
Not a word was spoken when he pulled up outside her house. They climbed out in the most appalling silence. Ryan helped her to carry her things up onto the front porch. Rambo didn’t make an appearance, which surprised her. Possibly he was curled up asleep in the neighbour’s rocking chair which was something he liked to do when she was away. She was left to fumble with her keys. Once the door was open, she turned to face Ryan, terrified that he would still leave, and equally terrified that he wouldn’t.
‘Ryan, I—’
‘Just shut up,’ he broke in, his face and eyes tormented as he dropped everything he was holding onto the verandah and pushed her inside the hallway, kicking the door shut behind him.
There was no question of fighting him, or even protesting, because she wanted him to do what it was obvious he was going to do. The trembling had already started inside. The trembling and the wild, uncontrollable excitement.
Yes, yes, slam me up against the wall, she urged silently as he did exactly that. Kiss me till I can’t think. Rip my clothes off. Ravish me.
‘God help me!’ she cried out when he finally surged up into her.
It was a manic mating; raw, rough and totally beyond reason. Beyond everything in this world which smacked of common sense and control.
And she revelled in it, her mouth gasping wide as he plundered her depths with the most primal passion. He came first, the fierce spasms of his flesh triggering her own cataclysmic climax. Laura’s release was so intense, so overwhelming, that she started to sob afterwards, tears streaming down her face as her arms flopped down by her side and her legs went to jelly. She might have slid down to the floor if Ryan’s body hadn’t been holding her up.
‘Oh God, Laura,’ he groaned, then clasped her tightly to him. ‘I’m so sorry. So dreadfully sorry.’
‘It … It’s all right …’ she somehow managed to stammer between sobs.
‘No,’ he said, taking her by the shoulders as he levered his body away from hers, his abrupt withdrawal bringing a startled gasp from her lungs. His eyes when they met hers were haunted. ‘It’s not all right. What I did just now … It was all wrong.’
His distress forced her to get control of her weeping so she could reassure him that he hadn’t raped her, if that was what he was thinking. She’d been with him all the way. She could have struggled, could have said no, but she hadn’t.
‘I’m as much to blame as you, Ryan,’ she choked out, not quite in control of her voice just yet.
‘I can’t accept that,’ he ground out as he zipped up his jeans then set about helping her with her clothes, which hadn’t been properly removed either, just enough