Modern Romance Collection: December Books 5 - 8. Julia James
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Everything he’d always dreamed of had been suddenly within his reach. For a man used to subduing or ignoring his emotions, he’d been overwhelmed, and not just because Callie would provide him with the longed-for heir. She was the perfect woman, who would become the perfect mother. She would be his perfect bride, and would transition seamlessly into a much-loved princess. ‘What’s so terrible about becoming my wife?’
‘If you don’t know,’ she said, sounding sad, ‘I can’t tell you. I suggest you forget about me, and ask one of those princesses to be your wife. You’ll hardly be short of replacements for me.’
‘Aggravating woman!’ he roared. ‘I don’t want a replacement. I want you.’
‘You can’t have everything you want, Luca.’
‘Are you saying no?’ he demanded with incredulity.
‘I’m saying no,’ Callie confirmed.
‘But you’ll be a princess.’
‘Of what?’ she demanded. ‘All you’re offering is a temporary position, an empty life in a foreign country with a man who only wants me for my child-bearing capabilities.’
‘That’s Max talking. Don’t listen to him.’
‘I don’t want that for our child,’ she said, ignoring him, ‘and I don’t want to be a princess in a loveless marriage. I can’t snuggle up to a tiara at night. I’d rather be back home in one room with my baby.’
‘That isn’t your choice to make,’ he said, adopting a very different tone.
‘Are you threatening me?’ she said quietly.
‘I’m reminding you that you’re carrying the heir to the principality of Fabrizio, and that neither you nor I can change that fact.’
‘And thank God for it,’ she whispered as blood drained from her face. ‘But there is something I can do.’
‘Which is?’ he demanded suspiciously.
‘Unless you intend to keep me here by force, I can return home to spend Christmas with friends I can trust. You took my trust and abused it,’ she accused. ‘And tonight I learned that you took my body and used that too.’
‘What? Dio! Never!’ He raked his still-damp hair with frustration. ‘Don’t we know each other better than this? Yes, passion drove us initially. And yes, your pregnancy was convenient. I won’t deny it. But it means so much more to me now. You mean so much more. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I feel—’ He stopped. He couldn’t even put into words how many feelings he was dealing with. For a man who’d spent most of his life avoiding emotion, he was drowning in them. ‘I respect you and I always will,’ he stated firmly. ‘Please give some thought to what becoming my wife will mean.’
‘I have,’ Callie assured him quietly, ‘and it’s not what I want.’
‘What do you want?’ he demanded fiercely. He’d do anything to put this right.
‘I want love and respect on both sides,’ she said without hesitation. ‘I want friendship that makes both of us smile, and I want trust like a rock we can both depend on. I want to honour the man who is my lover, my friend, and the father of my child, as he honours me. And I want my independence. I’ve fought too hard to lose that now.’
‘You’ll have it as my wife,’ he asserted confidently.
‘And as your Princess?’ When he didn’t answer, because he knew only too well the restrictions that royal life imposed, she continued, ‘I’ve spent too much of my life caged, and I won’t exchange one cage for another, however big an upgrade that might seem to you. And it’s not what I want for our child. I want us all to be free. I know I’m a fantasist,’ she added in a calmer voice, ‘and I know I want too much. I should have realised that from the start.’
‘Callie!’
‘No. Don’t try to stop me,’ she called back as she ran back to the lake. ‘We were never meant to be together. Max is right. I can’t marry a prince—this is over,’ she flared, trying to shake him off when he caught up with her.
‘It doesn’t need to end here,’ he said firmly, holding her still.
‘Yes, it does.’ With a violent tug she broke free. ‘Goodbye, Luca—’
‘But I love you.’
She stopped on the edge of the lake. Whether she intended to swim back or row back, he had no idea. He did know she was furious. ‘You love me?’ she said tensely. ‘Yet you didn’t think to tell me this before tonight? It sounds like you’re desperate to keep me here.’
‘I am desperate, but not for the reasons you think. You’re more to me than you could ever know, more than Max could even comprehend.’
She shook her head. ‘You had to be sure of me, didn’t you, Luca? That’s why you made the announcement of our engagement tonight in front of so many witnesses.’
‘You’re not listening, Callie. I love you. And you’re right. I should have told you long before now, but I didn’t realise it myself. I didn’t recognise the symptoms,’ he admitted ruefully, raking his hair with frustration. ‘I’m not exactly familiar with love in all its guises.’
‘Your father didn’t love you?’ she challenged with an angry gesture.
‘The Prince loved me, but it wasn’t easy for me to trust him enough to return his love, not as soon as he wanted, anyway.’
‘He must have been a patient man.’
‘He was.’
‘Know this, Luca. Nothing will change my mind. I don’t want a work in progress, while you discover your feelings. I want the boy who made his home in the Coliseum and dreamed of what he would one day become. I want the man who made that happen. Don’t you dare make your past an excuse. I haven’t.’
That was true. She shamed him. ‘How can I prove that I love you?’
‘By letting me go,’ she said with her usual frankness.
* * *
Back home at the Browns’, the ache in Callie’s heart at the absence of Luca was like a big, gaping wound that refused to heal. Even the Browns’ famously over-the-top Christmas preparations couldn’t do anything to mend it. Seeing Anita again had helped, Callie conceded as she smiled across the room at her friend from the lemon groves. Anita had become a most welcome fixture at the Browns’. On her return, Callie had persuaded Anita, who lived alone in a rented room, to take a job close by, and the Browns had offered to rent her a room. They always welcomed help with the younger children and Anita would never be alone again, Ma Brown had promised. Anita had a proper family now—if she could stand the noise and chaos. Anita could certainly do that, and had fitted right in.
‘Come on, our Callie,’ Ma Brown insisted as she bustled into the room they called the front parlour. ‘Anita, I need you to help me in the kitchen, and, Rosie, you and Callie still have the rest of those crêpe paper streamers to hang.’
‘And make,’ Rosie pointed out as she glanced at the uncut reams of crinkled paper and then at Callie’s preoccupied face. ‘Come on, I’ll help you.’ Kneeling down at Callie’s side, Rosie waited until her mother had left the room before putting an arm around Callie’s shoulders. ‘I know you haven’t said anything in front of the family, but you can’t keep bottling this up. And you can’t keep refusing to speak to him,’ Rosie added. ‘If Prince Luca comes to England to see you—’
‘Do you know something?’ Callie asked. Her heart soared at the thought of seeing Luca again, even as her rational mind told her she could never be a princess, so it was better not to see him at all.
‘Not exactly,’ Rosie admitted uncomfortably. ‘I’m just saying that if Luca did turn up, you should see him.’
‘I