Lance had picked a fine time to decide to make peace with her about the past. If he wanted it so badly, why hadn’t he just gone ahead and put their house on the market, like she’d asked him to a couple of weeks ago? This was not a discussion she wanted to have in front of the boys, and as Ryan still looked at her expectantly about why she wasn’t married anymore, Erin had no idea what to say.

      Finally she squatted beside Ryan and put her arm around him. “It’s one of those complicated grown-up things,” she said. “We used to be married and now we’re not.”

      Ryan tilted his head. “Why not? When Mom and Dad got married, Dad promised he would love us forever and ever and ever, and he would never leave us. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you get married? How can you not be married anymore?”

      Erin sighed. This wasn’t an easy topic for a four-year-old to understand. Especially since Leah, his mom, and Shane, his new dad, had just gotten married. It was easy to believe in forever on the day you spoke those vows. But tragedy had a way of changing things. How to explain those complications to a boy who’d been part of a wedding where he was finally getting an amazing dad?

      “In most cases, yes. But sometimes bad things happen and the best thing is for both of you to go your separate ways.”

      Ryan gave her a funny look. “That’s not what Mom says. Mom says you have to work together to figure it out. Even if it’s hard, Mom says it’s worth it in the end to work through your problems. Just like I did with Dylan when he broke my fire truck.”

      She was rusty at this parenting thing. Being an aunt was so much easier.

      Even though they’d all been living in this house together after moving here a year and a half ago, and before that, crammed into Nicole’s tiny apartment when Erin had left Lance two years ago, they had been an extended family for as long as Ryan had been alive. Erin tried just to be the boys’ aunt and not their mom. This whole conversation felt like a mom discussion, but Leah was on her honeymoon.

      So she took a deep breath and prayed that she was using the right words, especially since she could feel Lance’s eyes boring into her, demanding that she answer not just for Ryan, but for him. He hadn’t wanted the divorce, and it was clear, from his presence, he still didn’t understand. But how were you supposed to keep explaining that you couldn’t handle being blamed for your daughter’s death? Or that he’d been too emotionally unavailable to work through their shared grief together? And why would he want to remain married to her, believing that about her?

      Erin hugged Ryan close to her. “You’re right. People should try to work out their problems. Lance and I tried very hard to do so, but unfortunately it didn’t work.”

      She didn’t look at Lance as she spoke the words, knowing it would probably just set him off. He didn’t want to hear about her pain, but he’d needed someone to blame and be angry at. That’s what their counselor had said.

      Lance didn’t seem angry now, though. Just...lost.

      Erin wasn’t sure she was the right person to help him find his way again.

      Thinking about that time gave her an idea as to how to explain it to Ryan, though. “You remember how you guys went to a counselor when we first came here? Then again, once your mom and Shane decided to get married? Sometimes counselors help you fix things, but sometimes they show you things are too broken to be fixed.”

      Lance made a strangled noise and Erin looked up to see the sadness in his eyes. He’d stormed out of so many of their counseling sessions. Did he understand just how much of that contributed to the breakdown of their marriage?

      It didn’t matter. They were divorced now and whatever peace Lance was looking for, she hoped he found it. Even if she wasn’t part of that solution.

      However her words seemed to resonate with Ryan, who nodded. “I didn’t know they did that. Does this mean he can’t play with me?”

      She looked over at Lance, who seemed extremely uncomfortable. After Lily’s death, he couldn’t stand being around Ryan, who had spent so much time with them. When things were really bad with Jason, Leah’s late husband, Leah would often leave the boys with Erin. In some ways, Ryan and Lily had been like brother and sister.

      “I’m not sure if he knows how to play your games,” Erin said. “Besides, we have to finish making and putting up our Christmas decorations.” Hopefully it would give Lance a way out without looking or feeling like a jerk.

      “He could help,” Ryan offered.

      Given that Erin and her sisters used to jokingly call Lance “the Grinch” because of how he’d make fun of all their Christmas merriment and holiday décor everywhere, asking him to help would probably be the quickest way to get rid of him.

      “That’s a great idea,” Erin said, looking over at Lance. “We haven’t gotten the outside lights up yet, and I was wondering how I’d do that all by myself.”

      Was it wrong of her to get a sick thrill at the look of horror on his face?

      As his brow furrowed, she couldn’t help smiling. Lance was as good as gone.

      Not that she necessarily had anything against him. But what did they have to say to one another anymore? He’d made it clear he didn’t want to sell the house.

      “I guess I could lend a hand,” Lance finally said, sounding like he’d rather have all his toenails pulled out one by one.

      Whatever this making peace business was about, it had to be big.

      “Great,” Erin said, gesturing to a large box in the hall. “If you don’t mind carrying that outside, I’ll grab a ladder.”

      When she returned to the front porch, carrying the ladder, Lance had already opened the box of lights and was looking through them.

      “You’re going to need to test them,” he said.

      “Already did that during our Christmas movie marathon over Thanksgiving.”

      Lance groaned and Erin grinned. Most families were into football games and parades, but Erin and her sisters hated sports, so they’d created their own tradition by watching their favorite Christmas movies. This year their tradition had been slightly abbreviated since they’d been busy with wedding preparations for her sisters’ early December wedding.

      All their decorating energy had been poured into the wedding and they hadn’t had time to get to the house.

      That left the job to Erin. She was hoping that by the time her sisters got back from their respective honeymoons in two weeks, the entire place would be transformed into a Christmas wonderland.

      As Erin got the ladder situated on the corner of the porch, she couldn’t help smiling as she pictured their faces at seeing how Erin had made it their best yet. They’d had so many terrible Christmases over the past few years, with Erin’s tragedy and the troubles of Leah’s previous marriage. Prior to that, growing up under the iron fist of their father, the Colonel—a man who made Scrooge look like a humanitarian—Christmas hadn’t been a joyous occasion in their home. She and her sisters had always promised each other that when they were finally on their own, and had the means to do so, they were going to have the most amazing Christmases ever.

      Last year, things had looked like they were going to finally work out for them after all their tragedies. But Erin had gotten sick, and many of their plans had fallen through. This year Erin was determined. After all these years of waiting, her family would finally have the perfect Christmas they’d always dreamed of. She’d put together a whole binder for the family’s perfect Christmas, listing everything they were going