Future Ratboy and the Invasion of the Nom Noms. Jim Smith
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First published in Great Britain 2016 by Jelly Pie an imprint of Egmont UK Ltd The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text and illustration copyright © Jim Smith 2016 The moral rights of the author-illustrator have been asserted.
ISBN 978 1 7803 1434 1
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
www.futureratboy.com www.egmont.co.uk
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
Printed and bound in Great Britain by the CPI Group
56630/1
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Probably the best thing about getting zapped millions of years into the future and turned into a superhero rat is that I don’t have to go to school any more. (Kids don’t go to school in the future.)
‘What’ve you got planned for today, kiddywinkles?’ said Bunny one mornkeels, peering out the window at Shnozville High Street.
I was sitting in Bunny Deli with my best friends Twoface, Jamjar and Splorg. Oh yeah, and my sidekick Not Bird too.
‘Oh not much, probably just gonna hang around here eating cheesebleurghers,’ said Splorg.
A cheesebleurgher is a cheeseburger that goes ‘BLEURGH!’ when you bite into it, by the way.
‘Good idea, Splorgy Baby!’ said Twoface, his two faces grinning. ‘Four Cheesebleurgher Meal Deals for me and my pals please, Malcolm!’ he shouted.
‘Coming right up!’ said Malcolm, the official Bunny Deli Smellnu, and four Cheesebleurgher Meal Deals fizzled to life in front of our eyes.
A Smellnu is a floating menu, invented by Jamjar. It lets you smell the things that’re on it, in case you didn’t know.
Oh yeah, and a Cheesebleurgher Meal Deal is a cheesebleurgher, a packet of zigzaggedy-shaped chips and a cup of whatever drink you were thinking of at the exact billisecond the meal fizzled to life.
Jamjar sniffed her drink.
‘YUCK, Hedgehog Cola! Why do I ALWAYS think of Hedgehog Cola?’ she said, throwing her cup towards Dennis, the official Bunny Deli bin.
‘Ooh, I’ll have that!’ said Bunny, shooting one of her ten arms out and catching the Hedgehog Cola before it landed in Dennis.
‘Couldn’t do me a favour could you, gang?’ she said, sipping on the drink, and we all nodded but didn’t say anything, because our mouths were full of cheesebleurghers.
‘Here’s a list with a few bits I need from the shops,’ she smiled, and a glowing yellow square with scribbly writing on it floated up from the counter and hovered next to her face.
‘Ah, glad to see you’re using my latest invention, Bunny!’ smiled Jamjar. ‘The Floaty Note 6000!’
‘Ooh, it’s ever so useful!’ said Bunny, patting Jamjar on the head.
The shopping list wafted over to Twoface’s two faces, and he squinted his four eyes, trying to read what was on it.
‘What kind of boring old shopping list is that?’ said Twoface.
Bunny held all her fingers up and gave them a waggle. ‘You’d be surprised how quickly that stuff runs out when you’ve got ten hands, Twoface!’ she chuckled.
She took another sip of Hedgehog Cola and peered back out the window at Shnozville High Street. ‘Where IS everyone? It’s been quiet in here all morning.’
A car floated past while a dog did a hover- poo on the pavement. ‘I don’t know what’s going on,’ she said. ‘Nobody seems to want a Cheesebleurgher Meal Deal today . . .’
‘Apart from us, Bunny!’ I said to make her feel better. I took a sip on my avocado and felt-tip pen flavour soda, and the two little television aerials that’ve been sticking out of my head ever since I got zapped into the future did a wiggle.
The little black-and-white TV on my stomach started to fuzz and crackle, and Splorg peered at the screen.
‘YOINKS! What’s that weird-looking flying thing on your telly belly, Ratboy?’ said Splorg, and I looked down at my stomach.
A hairy pointy-toothed insecty rectangle about half the size of Not Bird was flying straight towards the screen, as if it was about to burst out of my belly.
‘Looks like something’s up!’ said Bunny, and I nodded, doing my superhero face, because whenever something flashes up on my telly belly, it means there’s trouble.
All of a sudden, a bitey-looking insecty