Chapter Four

      With the beach now firmly in her sights, Jess began to relax. For a little while the turning tide and her own newly crushing guilt had almost beaten her and sent her careening towards the rocks, but she had fought it like she fought everything and escaped a foamy death by the skin of her gritted teeth and through sheer stubborn determination.

      She’d lost sight of her floating prison long ago as that same tide had taken her briskly around the rocky headland and sheltered her from sight. Only then had she removed the makeshift turban she had fashioned out of a green-velvet cushion cover and that had undoubtedly helped her dark head to blend into the vast expanse of ocean. Close up, she was a ridiculous woman with a cushion on her head. From a distance she was merely one of the many kaleidoscope colours that made up the English Channel.

      Later she would take a moment to selfishly congratulate herself, right now she had to drag her exhausted body to the beach and find a place to hide. The last few months, and Saint-Aubin’s cruelty, had taken a toll on her body and, despite religiously exercising every day in her cell to maintain her fitness should an opportunity present itself, the laboured swim had pushed her to the limits of her endurance.

      Every stroke made the muscles in her arms and legs scream in rebellion. The partially healed welts on her back stung thanks to the salt water. Even her lungs hurt—but she was free. That heady feeling superseded all others and spurred her on. When her feet finally scraped shingle, she stood gratefully and, with the last of her severely depleted energy, dragged her aching body the last few yards, then collapsed exhausted on her knees to catch her breath before the next leg of her journey. She daren’t hang around too long. Lord Flint would be furious when he realised she had duped him and would have that ship sailing up and down the coastline searching for her.

      Jess allowed herself a triumphant smile which slowly slid off her face when she took in her surroundings.

       Incroyable!

      The isolated and tiny beach she had washed up on was secluded. It had that in its favour. But little else. The ragged rock formations she had seen at a distance were enormous close up and ringed her tiny bay, effectively cutting it off from everything else. Walls of solid rock loomed menacingly. The crescent cliff jutted out to sea at both ends, meaning to leave she either had to take her chances with the crashing waves again and swim around them or forge on ahead and scale the craggy wall in front of her.

      As it wasn’t a sheer cliff, more a haphazard collection of giant boulders on top of one another, climbing seemed the lesser of two evils. But with no rope to aid her and a life-long fear of falling to her death making her dizzy, it was only marginally less dangerous. Gelatinous, slimy seaweed coated every surface, waiting to send her careening to the ground. Aside from ignoring the fear, she would need a great deal of strength to achieve it. The muscles in her arms and legs were quivering from the exertion of her frantic swim and the dangerous, powerful waves which had done their level best to smash her against this very cliff. Jess had nothing left to climb a mountain—and these jagged rocks might as well be a mountain in her current state. They clearly displayed an obvious waterline, telling her in no uncertain terms that this narrow beach wouldn’t exist when the tide turned and she would be at the mercy of the sea again—probably very soon. The sudden urge to succumb to tears had her crumpling into a ball.

      She was petrified of heights.

      The thought of them left her paralysed and shaking.

      Rationally she knew that fear stemmed from breaking her ribs after falling out of a tree at the tender age of twelve shortly after being displaced in France. She also knew that it wasn’t so much the fall that was responsible for this persistent phobia, but the dreadful way Saint-Aubin exploited that fear afterwards. In her youth, whenever she became too rebellious, he would drag her to the roof of the chateau and use his superior strength to lean her over the ledge precariously until she promised never to defy him again. Finding a twisted and perverted delight in hearing her beg for mercy and confessing how much she feared him. Later, in Cherbourg... Involuntarily she shuddered. The beatings... The window. Saint-Aubin’s mocking laughter at her fear, reminding her he would happily allow her to plunge to her death the moment she ceased to be useful or dared to defy his express instructions.

      While she gave the guards the run around and defied them for as long as she was physically and mentally able, it didn’t take long for her to selfishly surrender to just the beating from Saint-Aubin, pathetically confessing that nothing in the world scared her more than him. In case he truly did send her tumbling to her death while in the grip of his all-consuming and bloodthirsty temper.

      Now that she knew for certain men had died because of that weakness, did that make her a traitor? Was she more like her self-centred mother than she realised.

      Now there was a comparison she had never imagined possible—that like her mother Jess had eventually complied for an easier life.

      She quashed the errant thought ruthlessly as she vowed to ignore the irrational way the fear of the cliff set her legs a-quiver and her stomach lurching.

      She wasn’t a traitor. Not intentionally at least. And she would make amends for all her unwitting crimes, because they were unwitting and the alternative had been her own demise when her soul internally screamed she deserved to live. Just once she wished luck or God would favour her. Just once! Was that too much to ask after all the obstacles she’d had thrown in her path? All the ordeals and pain she had been subjected to. It wasn’t fair!

      It wasn’t fair!

      But whining and wailing about it was pointless.

      She swiped the tears away angrily. Self-pity wouldn’t get her out of this mess. Neither would luck. Jess would simply have to do what she always did and endure. She hadn’t come this far to fall at the last obstacle. Going up was much easier than going down, because going up meant not having to look down. Down was her nemesis after all. It wasn’t that high and once the cliff had been climbed then she truly would be free and clear.

      Which was all she had ever wanted.

      Wearily, she stood and wrung the seawater out of her hair, then spent a few minutes squeezing it out of her clothes. By her best guess it was late afternoon, so there were many hours of daylight left, which in turn meant she could put a good few miles of road between her and the sea before nightfall as soon as she had conquered her irrational fears. Focusing on what came after might lessen the nerves.

      With no idea where exactly she was and no destination in mind, common sense told her she would need to stick to the small lanes and paths rather than the main roads. From somewhere she would need to procure a hat to disguise her waist-length hair. A woman in breeches was probably still a scandalous sight in England and with her slight frame and distinct lack of height, there was a good chance she could pass for a boy. Lord Flint’s fine silk waistcoat now protected her modesty, so there was no chance of inadvertently flashing her bosoms to anyone else who happened upon her. Jess was still mortified that he had seen them—or most of them. The wet linen left little to the imagination.

      Of course, he had been nonplussed, the horrid man. The brief flash of temper she had witnessed when he had caught her in the water was swiftly buried under his emotionless, aristocratic expression back on deck. Only his stormy green eyes gave any indication of his mood. He didn’t