Leg over Leg. Ahmad Faris al-Shidyaq
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so its men are distinguished by that of kindness to the stranger, once they have been introduced to him. Before he’s been introduced, however, if he greets one of them, the response will be a sidelong glance or a brisk nod of the head. Thus it was that one of their students of Arabic, having learned of the presence of the Fāriyāq and having been informed as to his noble pedigree and plentiful property, came to visit him and invited him to go with him to his house, which was some distance from Cambridge, and to stay there as an honored guest. The Fāriyāq accepted the invitation because the inhabitants of the city, despite the large number of schools and places of learning there, were exceptionally unwelcoming to the stranger, especially if he differed from them in dress; they made so much fun of his red cap, for example, that he often hid in his room and would leave it only at night.
4.5.2
وقال فى ذلك *
| رمتنى النوى فى كمبريج ملازما | لبيتى نهارا اَن ترانى اوباش |
| فتعبثَ بى حتى اذا الليل جنّنى | خرجت على اَمْن كانى خفّاش |
ولان الكلاب ايضا كانت تشم فروته وتلازمه * فقال فيها
| ولى فروة تاتى الكلاب تشمّها | ولم تندفع عنها اذا ما دفعتها |
| تهرّ على تمزيق جلدى وجلدها | كانى من ابائها قد صنعتها |
ولان اهل الدار التى نزل فيها كانوا يشاركونه فى طعامه ولا يشركونه فى لحمهم وشحمهم * فقال فيهم
| ولى عيلة فى كمبريج خفيّة | تواكلنى من حيث ليس عيان |
| فعهدى باسم الآكلات فلانة | وعهدى باسم الآكلين فلان |
ولانه لم يقدر على ان يحرّد الى احدى تلك القبب * فقال فيها
| وما نفع الوثير من الحشايا | وليس عليه وَثْر اذ تهش |
| وما نفع الشِعار بلا شعار | وحسن الحفش ان لم يُلفَ حفش |
| وما نفع الحياة بغير حىّ | فنعشك دونه ما عشت نعش |
On this topic, he wrote
Cast by the tempest on Cambridge’s shore,
Lest I be seen and mocked by the rabble, I kept to my house.
Then, when night had driven me mad,
I’d go out in safety, like a flittermouse.
Similarly, since the dogs too would sniff at his fur coat and follow him around, he wrote of them
I’ve got a fur coat that the dogs all come to sniff at
But when I repel them not one retires.
They snarl as they rip into my skin and the coat's—
You’d think I’d had it made from the skins of their sires.
And because the people of the house where he was staying would take a share of his food and not allow him access to their persons, he wrote about them
In Cambridge I’ve got dependents undisclosed
Who partake of my food when there’s no one there to watch—
All I know of my lady guest is that her name is So-and-so
And all I know of the man is that his name is Such and such.
Likewise, because he couldn’t find a way to be alone with one of those “domes,” he wrote of them
What’s the use of a comfy mattress
If there’s no sex to be had on it for all its softness?
What use a nightdress without a cunny
Or a nice bit of quim if you can’t find a cubby?
What use is life with no snatch in your bed?
No matter how long you live, you’re better off dead.
4.5.3
فسارا فى سكة الحديد وبلغا المنزل ليلا وما كاد الفارياق يدخل حجرته التى اعدت له حتى رقشها بهذين البيتين
| لله درب الحديد كم كفل ربا به والثدىّ قد رجفت لو لم يكن غير تلك فائدة لنا به دون اَتْوه لكفت | ||
| الاتو الاستقامة فى السير والسرعة |
ثم لما قام فى الغد راى المنزل بعيدا عن الدار * فاستعاذ بالله واسترجع واضبّ على ما نفسه * لان هذه الشكوى ليس لها عند هولآ القوم اذن واعية * حتى انه لما شكا يوما طول غيبته عن زوجته قال له صاحبه بعد ايام قد فرط منك بالامس كلام فقلت انى مشتاق الى امراتى * وكان الاولى ان تقول الى اولادى *
They took the railway together and arrived at the house at night, and no sooner had the Fāriyāq entered the room that had been prepared for him than he decorated it with the following:
What an excellent thing is the railway! How many a bottom
On its seats spreads wide, while breasts there quiver galore!
If that alone were all it did for us—never mind its forward dashing—atw [“forward dashing”] is “directness of motion, and speed.”
One couldn’t think to ask for more.
Then when he got up the following morning, it came to him how far still his new abode was from home but he said, “I seek refuge with God!” and “We are God’s and to God we return!” and put a brave face on it, because such complaints do not find a sympathetic ear among those people—so much so that a few days after his complaining of how long he’d been separated from his wife, his friend told him, “The other day you spoke extravagantly. You said, ‘I long for my wife!’ but it would have been more proper to say ‘for my children.’” “What,” the Fāriyāq asked him, “is wrong with a man speaking of his wife as he might of his children? Without the wife, there wouldn’t be any children! Nay more: