THE BADDEST VILLAINS - James Bond Edition. Ian Fleming
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the wheel.
Pleydell-Smith leant through the window. He said, ‘Ever heard the Jamaican expression “rarse”?’
‘No.’
‘ “Rarse, man” is a vulgar expression meaning – er – “stuff it up”. If I may say so, it would have been appropriate for you to have used the expression just now. However,’ Pleydell-Smith gave a wave of his hand which apologized for his Chief and dismissed him, ‘is there anything else I can do for you? You really think you ought to go back to Beau Desert? They were quite definite at the hospital that they want to have you for a week.’
‘Thanks,’ said Bond shortly, ‘but I’ve got to get back. See the girl’s all right. Would you tell the hospital I’ll be back tomorrow? You got off that signal to my Chief?’
‘Urgent rates.’
‘Well, then,’ Bond pressed the self-starter, ‘I guess that’s the lot. You’ll see the Jamaica Institute people about the girl, won’t you? She really knows the hell of a lot about the natural history side of the island. Not from books either. If they’ve got the right sort of job … Like to see her settled. I’ll take her up to New York myself and see her through the operation. She’d be ready to start in a couple of weeks after that. Incidentally,’ Bond looked embarrassed, ‘she’s really the hell of a fine girl. When she comes back … if you and your wife … You know. Just so there’s someone to keep an eye on her.’
Pleydell-Smith smiled. He thought he had the picture. He said, ‘Don’t worry about that. I’ll see to it. Betty’s rather a hand at that sort of thing. She’ll like taking the girl under her wing. Nothing else? See you later in the week, anyway. That hospital’s the hell of a place in this heat. You might care to spend a night or two with us before you go ho – I mean to New York. Glad to have you – er – both.’
‘Thanks. And thanks for everything else.’ Bond put the car into gear and went off down the avenue of flaming tropical shrubbery. He went fast, scattering the gravel on the bends. He wanted to get the hell away from King’s House, and the tennis, and the kings and queens. He even wanted to get the hell away from the kindly Pleydell-Smith. Bond liked the man, but all he wanted now was to get back across the Junction Road to Beau Desert and away from the smooth world. He swung out past the sentry at the gates and on to the main road. He put his foot down.
The night voyage under the stars had been without incident. No one had come after them. The girl had done most of the sailing. Bond had not argued with her. He had lain in the bottom of the boat, totally collapsed, like a dead man. He had woken once or twice and listened to the slap of the sea against the hull and watched her quiet profile under the stars. Then the cradle of the soft swell had sent him back to sleep and to the nightmares that reached out after him from Crab Key. He didn’t mind them. He didn’t think he would ever mind a nightmare now. After what had happened the night before, it would have to be strong stuff that would ever frighten him again.
The crunch of a nigger-head against the hull had woken him. They were coming through the reef into Morgan’s Harbour. The first quarter moon was up, and inside the reef the sea was a silver mirror. The girl had brought the canoe through under sail. They slid across the bay to the little fringe of sand and the bows under Bond’s head sighed softly into it. She had had to help him out of the boat and across the velvet lawn and into the house. He had clung to her and cursed her softly as she had cut his clothes off him and taken him into the shower. She had said nothing when she had seen his battered body under the lights. She had turned the water full on and taken soap and washed him down as if he had been a horse. Then she led him out from under the water and dabbed him softly dry with towels that were soon streaked with blood. He had seen her reach for the bottle of Milton. He had groaned and taken hold of the washbasin and waited for it. Before she had begun to put it on him, she had come round and kissed him on the lips. She had said softly, ‘Hold tight, my darling. And cry. It’s going to hurt,’ and as she splashed the murderous stuff over his body the tears of pain had run out of his eyes and down his cheeks without shame.
Then there had been a wonderful breakfast as the dawn flared up across the bay, and then the ghastly drive over to Kingston to the white table of the surgery in the emergency ward. Pleydell-Smith had been summoned. No questions had been asked. Merthiolate had been put on the wounds and tannic ointment on the burns. The efficient negro doctor had written busily in the duty report. What? Probably just ‘Multiple burns and contusions’. Then, with promises to come into the private ward on the next day, Bond had gone off with Pleydell-Smith to King’s House and to the first of the meetings that had ended with the full-dress conference. Bond had enciphered a short signal to M. via the Colonial Office which he had coolly concluded with: ‘REGRET MUST AGAIN REQUEST SICK LEAVE STOP SURGEONS REPORT FOLLOWS STOP KINDLY INFORM ARMOURER SMITH AND WESSON INEFFECTIVE AGAINST FLAME-THROWER ENDIT.’
Now, as Bond swung the little car down the endless S-bends towards the North Shore, he regretted the gibe. M. wouldn’t like it. It was cheap. It wasted cipher groups. Oh well! Bond swerved to avoid a thundering red bus with ‘Brownskin Gal’ on the destination plate. He had just wanted M. to know that it hadn’t quite been a holiday in the sun. He would apologize when he sent in his written report. Bond’s bedroom was cool and dark. There was a plate of sandwiches and a Thermos full of coffee beside the turned-down bed. On the pillow was a sheet of paper with big childish writing. It said, ‘You are staying with me tonight. I can’t leave my animals. They were fussing. And I can’t leave you. And you owe me slave-time. I will come at seven. Your H.’
In the dusk she came across the lawn to where Bond was sitting finishing his third glass of Bourbon-on-the-rocks. She was wearing a black and white striped cotton skirt and a tight sugar-pink blouse. The golden hair smelled of cheap shampoo. She looked incredibly fresh and beautiful. She reached out her hand and Bond took it and followed her up the drive and along a narrow well-trodden path through the sugar cane. It wound along for quite a way through the tall whispering sweet-scented jungle. Then there was a patch of tidy lawn up against thick broken stone walls and steps that led down to a heavy door whose edges glinted with light.
She looked up at him from the door. ‘Don’t be frightened. The cane’s high and they’re most of them out.’
Bond didn’t know what he had expected. He had vaguely thought of a flat earthen floor and rather damp walls. There would be a few sticks of furniture, a broken bedstead covered with rags, and a strong zoo smell. He had been prepared to be careful about hurting her feelings.
Instead, it was rather like being inside a very large tidy cigar-box. The floor and ceiling were of highly polished cedar that gave out a cigar-box smell and the walls were panelled with wide split bamboo. The light came from a dozen candles in a fine silver chandelier that hung from the centre of the ceiling. High up in the walls there were three square windows through which Bond could see the dark blue sky and the stars. There were several pieces of good nineteenth-century furniture. Under the chandelier a table was laid for two with expensive-looking old-fashioned silver and glass.
Bond said, ‘Honey, what a lovely room. From what you said I thought you lived in a sort of zoo.’
She laughed delightedly. ‘I got out the old silver and things. It’s all I’ve got. I had to spend the day polishing it. I’ve never had it out before. It does look rather nice, doesn’t it? You see, generally there are a lot of little cages up against the wall. I like having them with me. It’s company. But now that you’re here …’ She paused. ‘My bedroom’s in there,’ she gestured at the other door. ‘It’s very small, but there’s room for both of us. Now come on. I’m afraid it’s cold dinner – just lobsters and fruit.’
Bond walked over to her. He took her in his arms and kissed her hard on the lips. He held her and looked down into the shining blue eyes. ‘Honey, you’re a wonderful girl. You’re one of the most wonderful girls I’ve ever known. I hope the world’s not going to change you too much. D’you really want to have that operation? I love your face – just as it is. It’s part of you. Part of all this.’
She frowned and freed herself. ‘You’re not to be serious tonight. Don’t talk about