Financial Adulting. Ashley Feinstein Gerstley
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be doing to reach our goals but really struggle to follow through on those actions. Nutritionists say, “Only eat until you're full” or “Weight loss is just about calories in minus calories out.” This all sounds simple but if it were actually that straightforward, there wouldn't be a multibillion-dollar dieting industry.
One of the reasons money is so emotionally charged is that it comes with a lot of promise. If I could just pay off my credit card debt, I would finally get ahead of my expenses. If I could afford that vacation to Tahiti, I'd feel so much more fulfilled and refreshed. If I could purchase a home, I'd feel much more financially stable.
Money means different things to different people, but having it (versus not having it) makes a tremendous difference in our lives. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Companies use this emotional pull to sell us things. Ads promise that if we just buy this one thing, we'll finally feel smart enough, beautiful enough, like we belong, or [insert desire here]. Brands play off our emotions to get into our wallets. They spend millions of dollars to do it, know way too much about us, and are absolutely brilliant at selling us things.
Because of everything we have working against us, financial experts who spout shame and fear drive me nuts. The system is rigged; so many other industries (financial services, credit cards, retail) benefit when we make financial missteps or choices that don't align with our best interest. To ignore that is ignorant and unhelpful.
It's Easy Not to Think About Money
Technology has also played a part in keeping us from financial adulthood. Back in the day, people had to use cash or write a check (and then balance their checkbooks). While technology has made our lives much more convenient, it's also made it a lot easier to lose track of where our money is going.
We hop in and out of Lyfts without actually having to pay, we click one button and the next day packages show up at our door, and we swipe our credit cards, which feels very different than handing over a wad of $20 bills.
Then There's Oppression
Not to mention the systemic racial and gender gaps that affect every aspect of our financial lives. Women, and much more so, women of color and moms, earn far less for the same work than white men. They have to pay more for the same things (it's called the pink tax), pay higher rates for credit despite having the same or better profiles, and face discrimination in the workplace.
The Black and Indigenous communities have been stripped of wealth over and over again through policy and theft since the United States was built on the free labor of the enslaved. This, along with policy and discrimination, has created the vast racial wealth gap in the United States.
If you are BIPOC, you carry generations of oppression into your financial life.
But There Is Good News …
All this is to say, it's no wonder we're not feeling like financial adults! We have so much working against us when it comes to our finances. We need to show ourselves some grace and understanding as we navigate a financial world that's not built for us.
Did my rant resonate? What are some reasons you might not feel like a financial adult yet?
Read over your list from this exercise. This is really important.
If you are still punishing yourself for your past financial mistakes after reading all this, go back and read it again!
Despite all of that (and I know it's a lot), I'm still a financial optimist. Understanding what we have working against us is actually the best strategy to know how to move forward. There are specific actions we can take and shifts we can make as individuals to improve our financial lives and overcome many of these roadblocks.
We can understand and champion the changes we need to see at the top, all the while taking action in our own lives.
We can go from financial hot mess to financial adult and I'm here to show you exactly how to do it. I've seen thousands of people transform their financial well-being and bring others with them, one step at a time.
So, What Exactly Is a Financial Adult?
Being a financial adult is a lot less daunting than it sounds. It doesn't mean you know everything about money or never make any mistakes. I still make mistakes all the time. We're each on our own money journeys and will continue to grow, learn, and make mistakes. It's all part of the “fun.”
Being a financial adult can actually be easy and straightforward. That doesn't mean you won't have to dedicate some time and put in some work, but it doesn't have to be a struggle. And it certainly doesn't mean that you have to give up your current lifestyle in exchange for your financial future. Personal finance is, as the name suggests, personal.
This is also a completely judgment-free zone. Yes, I'm talking no judgment from our experts and educators but also, as much as possible, from ourselves, too. I know, easier said than done. But we'll work on that.
After going through this book you will be a confident and conscious financial adult. Here's what that means.
A Financial Adult Takes Small, Consistent Steps That Add Up to Big Results
When it comes to improving our financial lives, action is everything. We can learn and read about money all day, every day, but until we take action, it won't meaningfully impact our lives.
What I find has the biggest impact is taking small consistent steps over time. Not only does that make change a lot more manageable (and easy), we start to see results and that builds our motivation. This inspires us to take more steps and our results become exponential.
So it's a win–win. Small steps make it easy but also lead to big results. This financial adulting program will provide you with the small steps needed to get there.
A Financial Adult Understands What's Happening with Their Money
This one might sound simple but it's actually tremendously powerful and profound. Understanding what's happening with your money means you know what's coming in and where your money is going, whether that's where you're spending it or how you are allocating it toward your goals.
As a financial adult, you have a clear picture of what you have and where you have it, and understand what's happening with your investments (including your retirement).
We have a tendency not to want to know what's happening with our money. We might be afraid of what we'll find, thinking it will be less stressful to not know and remain unaware. But until we know what's happening, we can't do anything about it. And there's no power in that.
Once we know what's happening with our money, we can make conscious and intentional choices. We can make sure our finances align with our goals and what's most important to us. We can choose to support organizations and causes we believe in and vote for our values with each dollar we spend and invest.
Clarity and awareness give us choices. And that's exactly what we need before we can make a plan. I feel a sigh of relief already!
A Financial Adult Feels Confident in Their Financial Plans, Knowing They Will Get to Have and Experience What They Want in Life (Which Is the Whole Point of Having Money Anyway!)
This one is a biggie! Financial plans often get a bad rap. We think of financial plans, especially budgets, as being overly restricting or limiting our fun. That's why we understandably avoid making them. But that comes at a really high cost.
Having a financial plan actually does the opposite of restricting us. It gives us peace of mind. Can you imagine knowing exactly how and by when you will reach your financial goals? Now imagine that you can also build