A Head Full of Everything. Gavin Oattes
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to being the type of person that thinks and says ‘but it's going to rain in an hour’.
‘Once you’re grown up, you can’t come back.’
—Peter Pan
That's the wee piece of magic I'm talking about right there. Heading outside to build the den or staying indoors to wait for the rain to pass. It's the perfect metaphor for life.
It's the difference between actually building the den and wishing you'd built the den. The difference between doing something that excites you and doing something safer. The difference between embracing the moment or passing it up. The difference between getting stuck in no matter what and sitting this one out.
Think about this from your perspective as a teenager. Like really young kids, most teenagers want things to be better, to always be improving. Most will seek some kind of positive change. We all want to have fun. Step one is always the easy part.
Step two is where we lose some people. It becomes harder to believe some things are possible. As we enter adulthood, we now know what it's like to fail, to be judged, to be told we're not good enough. We worry more about other people's opinions. We start to overthink things. We can overthink things to such an extent we convince ourselves we can't do or have certain things, so it's easier to not even try.
And then there's step three, as teenagers we know what it means to be told ‘the effort will be worth it in the long run’. It's code for ‘in the short‐term it's going to be awful’. Like exams. ‘Put the effort in now and it will all pay off’ they say. What they're really saying is that it's going to be stressful, messy and we're all going to be exhausted.
When you're in proper groan‐up jobland, they'll say things to you like, ‘we're embarking on a journey of change’ or ‘we're going on a journey of growth’.
We are ALWAYS on a journey of growth! BUT PLEASE CAN WE STOP CALLING IT ‘A JOURNEY OF GROWTH’!!! It's just life.
It won't matter what age you are, or how boring your boss is, it will be the wee piece of magic that gets you through. But not just through … in, involved and engaged.
But how do we do this? How do we make sure we never lose that wee piece of magic?
Mindset.
This is once again all about how you choose to think. I am a firm believer in the idea that you are what you think.
Change your thinking, you change your thoughts. Change your thoughts, you change the words that come out your mouth. Change the words that come out your mouth, you change what you give off.
Your thoughts lead to behaviours. Always.
I once read a beautiful quote by Cynthia Occelli: ‘For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.’
Sound familiar? Welcome to the teenage years. Welcome to life.
At 4 years of age we don't see destruction. We see adventure and excitement, we just think ‘bring it on’. As young adults, many of us see hard work, frustration and effort.
What if there's too much emphasis these days on striving to be great at something. This brings nothing but pressure and comparison. What if we've got it all wrong. Rather than finding the confidence to be great, what if it was about finding the confidence to have fun? To see the fun in the everyday, the fun in the ordinary. To play.
You used to be the best at playing. So did your parents. And your grandparents. I hope you've not forgotten this.
Remember when you were 6? In your mind you were never too far from a playground. The floor was always lava. Sometimes you played in the clouds. All steps were rainbow coloured. Every bridge was a shake shake bridge. You never sat still. Homework was fun. Museums came to life. The library was loud and you could borrow more than just books! Waiting never felt like waiting. Rain falling during school break time didn't mean we're staying indoors, it meant ‘Get your wellies on!’ It was like every day was national play day.
That wee boy/girl is still inside you. Still bursting with curiosity, still bursting with excitement. Still bursting with magic. The goal is to never let them disappear.
At that age there was nothing actually very hard about being playful. Far too many young people now worry about looking silly or doing something ‘uncool’. We live in a time where we can hide behind screens, heavily influenced by other people's opinions.
More weight is given to tests and grades than ever. We now spend more time than ever in settings where we are directed, protected, catered to, ranked and judged.
When you are playful, you let go of all that.
‘I find it amusing that we’re all pretending to be normal when we could be insanely interesting instead.’
—Atlas
Hide ‘n’ Seek
A couple of years ago I was invited to speak at a TEDx event. This one was particularly special as it was to be held at St Andrews University, one of the most prestigious universities in the world. I was buzzing, couldn't wait to do my thing.
The theme for the day was all around play and rediscovering your inner child. Perfect!
I wanted to try something completely different. I decided my talk would be all about why so many grown‐ups don't play anymore, and I wanted to come up with something that would prove it. What could I do in a lecture theatre with 300 grown‐ups?
There's no way I could play Hide ‘n’ Seek, that would be crazy, no one would ever do that. And plus, it could never work in that kind of space. There's nowhere to hide!
And then I began to think, well, that would be perfect because if they really wanted to play then they'd find a way. But in this context it would play into my hands as they won't play – because it's crazy – so my point will be proved there and then. As adults we don't play anymore, certainly not the way we used to!
So, Hide ‘n’ Seek it was.
“You're only given a little spark of madness, you mustn't lose it.”
—Robin Williams
To set the scene quickly, St Andrews University is, well, fancy. I was nervous, partly because it was TEDx event and partly because I know fine well, I don't belong there, our future king and queen went to this university. To be blunt, these aren't my people.
My imposter syndrome was kicking off in all sorts of ways. My self‐talk went as follows …
‘Shut up Gav, they’ve asked you to be here, get in, attempt to play hide‐and‐seek and get out.’
That was it, that's all I had for myself in that moment. I honestly don't believe anyone in the entire history of man has had this thought before giving a presentation at St Andrews University.
The room filled quickly. 300 people. I was up first. I had 18 minutes.
‘Ladies