Inflection Points. Matt Spielman
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their how (the plan of how to get it).
But finding their why is not as straightforward, and that's where things can get muddled. Consider if you aspire to land a managerial position with a top media company. Much of my coaching practice revolves around helping you explore the motivation behind that desire. I don't ask questions as a way to plump your ego, or simply make you feel good. That's not enough. Do I want you to see how that job/activity/degree will be stimulating intellectually? That's better, but it's still not adequate.
The why behind the goal has to resonate with something deep inside you, a fundamental part of who you are—or who you strive to become.
I spend a lot of time with my clients just getting at what is going to represent or manifest who they are intrinsically. It is not merely what you should do, but what you could do if you made decisions based only on your innermost, heart-and-soul-level desires.
What emerges from within? The point is for your outer actions to be congruent with your inner self. Do your behaviors, your words, your work, and your time commitments align with who you truly are? If that's lacking, there will be a kind of disconnect that will always nag you and make you feel uncomfortable no matter what gilded title happens to grace your office door.
This may seem to be abstract, touchy-feely stuff, but the magic happens when we winnow down our mix of passions, desires, wishes, images, impulses, and hopes into a simple, physical document—your personalized Game Plan System. Your GPS will help you prioritize and make decisions, and it will give you the boundaries and motivations you need, emotionally and intellectually, to keep your steps moving. The key is that we write these things down. Not unlike an NFL coach's laminated Game Plan card, your GPS is a concise yet detailed single page (front and sometimes back) you can place on your desk or pin on your wall. In this way, it provides a constant visual reminder that keeps you on track (it's laminated, too). It would be easy enough to devise a life plan and consign it to some digital file, or keep it on the back burner of your busy mind (where it has to share space with a million other things). But our goal is action, serious and real action. You need to see your plan to believe it. Figure 2.1 shows what a Game Plan System looks like.
One of the strengths of the GPS is that it's intended to be shared with associates, colleagues, friends and family, mentors, partners, and other stakeholders in your life's mission. One of the best practices for staying on track with a life or career plan is accountability, transparency, and alignment, which is only achieved by drawing others into your plan. Also, it's wonderful to have support, and a resourceful system to communicate with—for your sake.
Figure 2.1 A Sample Game Plan.
One of the most famous examples of formulating a Game Plan was America's mission to the Moon, which captivated the nation and the world's attention throughout the 1960s. In 1962 President Kennedy announced, “We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”1
That audacious statement kicked into gear an all-hands-on-deck process involving thousands of professionals in the space program (and many more stakeholders not directly involved but whose assistance was essential). It invigorated NASA, and America as a whole, with a clear and compelling sense of purpose and direction. And seven years later, the American flag was planted on the craggy gray expanse of the lunar surface.
The Moon mission was a tremendous mission of unthinkable scale, but it's analogous to how I go about creating goals with my clients. It starts by informing what goes on the Game Plan. Then we co-create the Game Plan, and the balance of the engagement is working the Game Plan, going on the journey together, and executing against it, as you'll discover throughout this book. After all, a goal is the outcome of how you organize your time, energies, and resources.
TRADITIONAL GOAL-SETTING VERSUS GPS: WHY SMART NEEDS TO BE SMARTER
One of the great lies (and there are many) of the self-development/personal development/coaching world is that all you need to effect a transformation in your life is to set the right goals and follow a process for achieving them (made possible by discipline). Not only does this miss the mark, but it can be dangerous, too. It causes a lot of angst and wasted time for the countless people who go down this road. The purpose of setting ambitions is to grow and learn as you meet them, not to be held in a feedback loop of want without follow-through.
Many people are familiar with SMART as a goal-setting program, a concept born from a paper written by businessman George T. Doran in 1981. He wrote “There's a S.M.A.R.T. Way to Write Management's Goals and Objectives” as a curriculum for managers, so the model has a corporate perspective by nature. Doran emphasized the creation of goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely (there is some variation in the words in the acronym, but that's the gist). This method is not in and of itself wrong, per se. The problem is that SMART, and other conventional goal-setting systems, fall short of what is required. They are shallow. For one thing, it was meant specifically for business application, and it is intellectual, as opposed to comprehensive. Second, the system is limiting. It's not enough to have good intentions—one must know and feel the why, the underlying drivers of the goal.
What are the motivations and innermost intentions that produce your goals?
My own goal-setting system is ACHIEVE: each goal must satisfy seven criteria (see Figure 2.2). One of those is that it must be consequential—to embody something of great significance to me. That is what powers my progress toward the goal's realization. Knowing why something is important to you will drive you toward it versus just thinking that you'd like to have it.
If you've been beating yourself up for most of your adult life because you fail to follow through on the goals you set, or (just as common) you spend years chasing a goal only to discover that it wasn't really what you wanted at all—you're not alone. For years I struggled in my own way with the ineffectiveness of the SMART system and other similar models. Many individuals work hard with the SMART model, but fall short. I, too, thought the formula was good enough, but I always sensed there was something vacuous about goal-setting on the whole. It wasn't until I began coaching that I realized the problem isn't with us—it's with the system.
Figure 2.2 The ACHIEVE Model™.
Finally understanding that goal-setting doesn't work for most people was shocking but also tremendously liberating for me. I see the same shock and awe with many people I've helped see the light. If you've been slogging through your life chasing after something that no longer excites you (if it ever did), this is your way out of that trap (it's a trap you set for yourself, over and over again). It can even be argued that if you've wondered why checking all the boxes next to S-M-A-R-T has left you unfulfilled, then rest assured that the problem is not you. Working with your goals should be energizing. Challenging, yes. Not draining.
It's important to recognize that traditional goal-setting doesn't emphasize visualization, which constitutes a sizeable part of the GPS process. What will it look like when you achieve X? Is there flexibility in what it looks like? For example, if someone wants to run a marathon, do they visualize success as crossing a finish line? As just participating? As being one of the first to finish the race?
Once upon a time, I was fortunate to play on Columbia University's baseball team; I was good enough to have a shot at continuing to play after college before I decided to pursue other avenues. As an athlete, I learned the value of