Space: one hundred one story of surrealism. Рим Дик
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they throw the planets high up, maybe down, who knows, space never had directions, and they throw them into the hole, with a tentacle strike. Planets, moons, they all roll across the field, and then they are grabbed by tiny, but equally agile lemurs, they throw them into the ring of Saturn, playing basketball, And how happy they are when they hit. They beat each other for joy. Those planets quickly return back, rolling into place, like on a pool table, and, of course, it happens that lemurs are greedy, jellyfish have to fight with them on their fists. Of course, there can be no talk of any jellyfish fists. It could not, but here everything is arranged differently, alas, because the jellyfish itself, if you look, has a real fist. One blow is enough, it used to be for a lemur to die. there is a real fist. One blow is enough, it used to be for a lemur to die. there is a real fist. One blow is enough, it used to be for a lemur to die.
In the kitchen, in a house on the outskirts of the forest, a guy was sitting, an ordinary person, but he had kilograms of sweets in his closet. Only these sweets were not at all simple, but magical. Anyone who ate them immediately became a robot. And all because demons lived inside sweets, they seduced and invited people to eat them, and then they themselves ate people from the inside, built real mechanisms, frames there, and turned human skin into a robot. As real, there are legends that even the robot itself does not know that he is a robot, because the memories are alive. In a small box, the demons store the brain, protect it, and, depending on the need, rebuild it and introduce their memories. It happens that they go to hell in this body to assure people that there is a way out, to give them hope, and then, insidiously and cruelly, speak the truth, showing themselves. Immediately the man suffered even more,
In Siberia, well, where else could they be, if not there, lived snowmen the size of a mountain. And the Yeti lived with them there, a huge enormous hairy man, there was only hair on the body, only two eyes and sticking out, glowing under the moon. They played building house with the snowman and threw lances. The peaks reached, almost to the height of a tree near the mountain, and, only as tall as a car, a Yeti. They rushed like this until the morning came, and in the morning, of course, they always slept so that people would not notice them. When you look from below, you can see two huge caves, these are not caves at all, but the eyes of the mountain, but people do not see all this, because the mountain knows how to hide itself very well. Yeti, in order not to get caught, will dig out a norm for himself in the snow, climb into it, and sleep until evening, and wake up from the cold. He raises his head, and there is a blizzard. It hits him from side to side like a European flag, and he is holding on to a Christmas tree, and yelling at the mountain to give a hand, but the mountain is much larger, does not hear, the snow has laid his ears. So the Yeti flew far, far away, made a circle around the mountain seven times, and fell again into the snow. He used to fly across the sky, Crows and Penguins would fly in, sit on his back, and sleep while he was flying. And once, it was two or three days, a huge sea turtle crawled out from under the water, and shouted to the Crows to tie a rope to the Yeti. And the turtle flew from below, because it also always dreamed of flying, only it was very big, and therefore sometimes jumped up to overcome at least a hundred meters. Because the Yeti was a kite. He used to fly across the sky, Crows and Penguins would fly in, sit on his back, and sleep while he was flying. And once, it was two or three days, a huge sea turtle crawled out from under the water, and shouted to the Crows to tie a rope to the Yeti. And the turtle flew from below, because it also always dreamed of flying, only it was very big, and therefore sometimes jumped up to overcome at least a hundred meters. Because the Yeti was a kite. He used to fly across the sky, Crows and Penguins would fly in, sit on his back, and sleep while he was flying. And once, it was two or three days, a huge sea turtle crawled out from under the water, and shouted to the Crows to tie a rope to the Yeti. And the turtle flew from below, because it also always dreamed of flying, only it was very big, and therefore sometimes jumped up to overcome at least a hundred meters. Because the Yeti was a kite.
Dwarfs always said:
“It takes three gnomes to get a light bulb!” – but each of them tried, but their height was still not enough to the ceiling, – So ten! – but even ten did not reach the light bulb, and it was necessary to screw it in, so they called a man into the hut. The man helped, but leaving, he said:
– It’s good that you called me, you are too small, even together, you have a hundred thousand dollars.
Well, they gave him the gold of a leprechaun, and agreed on that. Thumbelina came, put two chairs, unscrewed the light bulb and said that warm light was needed here, for comfort.
Can you imagine how many stars there are in the sky, how a dragon floats across the galaxy, spewing marmalade from its mouth, how a rabbit flies in a balloon, singing Philip Kirkorov, and somewhere on Pluto, there lives a mosquito that can compose galaxies. The mosquito comes out onto the veranda, and, waving its trunk, begins to create new galaxies and planets. On one, a mosquito created giants that ate only small mushrooms, and on the other, a Hedgehog that could dance break dance and make ice out of sand. On its planet, the mosquito wanted nothing more than a tank of donated blood and a couple of secluded, dark places. But one day he got bored, he waved his magic trunk, created a cruiser and went to the created galaxy, only fell out of the cruiser along the way, because he forgot about the toothy pikes that swam through space and ate everything.
– What if everyone lives in a tea leaf? – the moth thought, eating out a fur coat with a friend, – Imagine that this is space, and planets are scattered there! There are butterflies, and flies, and lizards, even people!
– Marvelous! the friend agreed.
“Here, in a tea leaf,” he said, “the same Tim lives like you, a little moth, even smaller than you and me,” taking a leaf out of his pocket, “maybe he’s even your little clone, and also eats a fur coat, only a lot long years ago.
– Cool!
“And don’t say, but they don’t even know that it’s hot on the planet for them, because we boil them and eat them in a cup and teapot.
– Like this?
– You put it in the water, and everyone drowns there and dies. They swell, the planets become doughnuts, big as if they took water in their mouths.
– Ah, got it.
“Yeah, and I thought you were always stupid. Turns out you’re even dumber than I thought.
They ate, but Henry’s moth continued to occasionally examine the leaf, whispering to them that he saved their universe, and put it in his pocket. Then the closet opened and they flew out, but the fly swatter took them out and smeared them on the wall. So it happens, people often also missed a stop on buses, talking about something distant. So the moths did not notice the danger, only at the last moment. He became the last one.
Imagine a sock on the floor, stick your foot in, and there… but everything is in order. This sock is not at all ordinary, but a real magic sock. When a person puts them on, he immediately enters another world. There were werewolves and vampires, they are at war. Van Helsing also got here, from there he pulled out several werewolves, and they took over his world. But Helsing was the coolest of all, because he himself became one, returning to the past and being born a Lycan. He kept a secret within himself with the sign of Baphomet, which held back his rage and transformation. When the time came, he became a werewolf the size of a dachshund and flew south because there were no werewolves. They were not there, except that the magic was strange there. Climbing the highest mountain on Olympus, Helsing noticed that a new werewolf grows from every hair that falls out. He never wanted to be a father, but who chooses that was the purpose. They also need to be fed. Therefore, he raised more werewolves, and until they were formed, he gave children to eat for his children. Yes, they themselves could make children and eat. Children ate their children’s children. And Helsing decided that enough was enough from him, and flew back to the sock, climbed into the past and was born a man. Immediately all the werewolves perished on that mountain.
Freddy Krueger always had three sheets of drawings hanging in his room. He was afraid to pick them