Getting the Woman of Your Dreams. Nishant Baxi
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likely feeling the same jitters and butterflies that you are. Keep that in mind to help quell your fears.
Women, just like men, have varying opinions about what makes someone attractive physically and mentally. Also just like men, for some women looks are more important than others. And every woman thinks different men are attractive. For many women, appearance is not a major factor in dating a man. Many women find it is most important to be romantically involved with a good man who is good to her. Someone that can make her laugh, hold an interesting conversation, and make life more fun and interesting. With this in mind, you’ll need to take a close look at yourself, complete the worksheets, and focus on your top attributes when trying to attract a woman.
When you are around single women, you shouldn’t worry that you will be shot down if you approach them. Most women are reasonable and normal, and a simple friendly conversation will not end negatively. Women like positive, non-creepy attention from men, and many dress up to boost their self confidence in the dating arena.
Women will tell you if they are not interested. You shouldn’t feel nervous about approaching an attractive woman and striking up a conversation. If she’s taken or not interested, she’ll simply say so. No harm done. It’s best to develop the attitude that taking small risks will have a big payoff. If you don’t try you will never know. And what have you got to lose?
After seeing these common sense facts about women in print, it hopefully helps you realize that women are normal human beings that have many of the same
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stresses and excitement about meeting you as you do with them. Female behavior is typically predictable and communication helps to ensure that you are both on the same page. Women aren’t out to embarrass you. Once you realize that women are the same as you, you’ll be able to easily approach any woman in a relaxed manner just as casually as a chat with your buddy about the game.
Look at Yourself – Know Your Attributes
Before you get started, it’s a good idea to take an honest look at yourself. What are your best selling points? Focus on the positive. Are you funny? Do you have an analytical mind? Are you quick-witted? Use the Appendix I worksheet to put your key selling points down on paper. You will use this in other developmental activities so keep it handy and add to it regularly.
Are You Your Own Best Friend or Enemy?
What you say to yourself in the back of your head is actually vital to your dating success. You probably didn’t think that your internal dialogue mattered that much! Well it does, and here’s why.
When you are making decisions, thinking about what actions you would like to take, and thinking about dating, it’s very likely that little, self-defeating thoughts pop into your head. These thoughts are the little confidence destroyers that you have to take control over to be successful with women.
If you let negative thoughts prevent you from saying, doing, and taking action, you are talking yourself out of forward momentum. You will never get anywhere if you don’t try.
When you are talking to a woman that you like for the first time, you probably are feeling nervous. Your subconscious will often shoot out thoughts that make you think twice about taking a risk.
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When you are already in a vulnerable state, it’s easy to listen to these negative thoughts. They will create unnecessary doubt in your mind, so it’s important to be able to identify them to counteract them. Are you plagued with negative thoughts? Consider these common dating saboteurs:
General Statements
“She’ll think I’m an idiot for even approaching her.”
“She probably always has guys talking to her.”
“I’ll get laughed at for even trying.”
“She’ll know she can do better than me.”
“This woman is out of my league.”
“She’s too good-looking to be interested in me.”
“She’ll think I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t stand a chance.”
Self-Defeating Questions
“She can have anyone, why would she pick me?”
“Why bother? There’s no way she’d be interested in me.”
“Why do I think I stand a chance now?”
“Why would a woman as great as she is want to be with a man like me?”
Easy-Way-Out Statements
“She’s too beautiful. I should try someone who’s less attractive, like me.”
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“Why should I stick my neck out on the line when I’m only going to get rejected? I’ll just go home and try again a different day.”
“I’m not prepared enough… I’ll buy a [training program, self-help guide, dating course] and study harder before trying.”
Tell yourself to stop making excuses to avoid an uncomfortable situation, and step outside of your comfort zone. You’re working against yourself if you are creating constant excuses and roadblocks. The best recommendation is to just do it.
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