Fruits of Culture. Tolstoy Leo
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matter if you loved me?.. I say, Tánya …
TÁNYA [angrily and severely] You'll get nothing from me, I tell you!
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH [off the scene] Gregory!!
GREGORY. You're mighty particular, ain't you?
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH [off the scene, shouts persistently, monotonously, and with all his might] Gregory! Gregory! Gregory! [Tánya and Gregory laugh].
GREGORY. You should have seen the girls that have been sweet on me. [Bell rings].
TÁNYA. Well then, go to them, and leave me alone!
GREGORY. You are a silly, now I think of it. I'm not Simon!
TÁNYA. Simon means marriage, and not tomfoolery!
Enter Porter, carrying a large cardboard box.
PORTER. Good morning!
GREGORY. Good morning! Where are you from?
PORTER. From Bourdey's. I've brought a dress, and here's a note for the lady.
TÁNYA [taking the note] Sit down, and I'll take it in. [Exit].
Vasíly Leoníditch looks out of the door in shirt-sleeves and slippers.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. Gregory!
GREGORY. Yes, sir.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. Gregory! Don't you hear me call?
GREGORY. I've only just come, sir.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. Hot water, and a cup of tea.
GREGORY. Yes, sir; Simon will bring them directly.
VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. And who is this? Ah, from Bourdier?
PORTER. Yes, sir.
Exeunt Vasíly Leoníditch and Gregory. Bell rings. Tánya runs in at the sound of the bell and opens the front door.
TÁNYA [to Porter] Please wait a little.
PORTER. I am waiting.
Sahátof enters at front door.
TÁNYA. I beg your pardon, but the footman has just gone away. This way, sir. Allow me, please. [Takes his fur cloak].
SAHÁTOF [adjusting his clothes] Is Leoníd Fyódoritch at home? Is he up? [Bell rings].
TÁNYA. Oh yes, sir. He's been up a long time.
Doctor enters and looks round for the footman. Sees Sahátof and addresses him in an offhand manner.
DOCTOR. Ah, my respects to you!
SAHÁTOF [looks fixedly at him] The Doctor, I believe?
DOCTOR. And I thought you were abroad! Dropped in to see Leoníd Fyódoritch?
SAHÁTOF. Yes. And you? Is any one ill?
DOCTOR [laughing] Not exactly ill, but, you know … It's awful with these ladies! Sits up at cards till three every morning, and pulls her waist into the shape of a wine-glass. And the lady is flabby and fat, and carries the weight of a good many years on her back.
SAHÁTOF. Is this the way you state your diagnosis to Anna Pávlovna? I should hardly think it quite pleases her!
DOCTOR [laughing] Well, it's the truth. They do all these tricks – and then come derangements of the digestive organs, pressure on the liver, nerves, and all sorts of things, and one has to come and patch them up. It's just awful! [Laughs] And you? You are also a spiritualist it seems?
SAHÁTOF. I? No, I am not also a spiritualist… Good morning! [Is about to go, but is stopped by the Doctor].
DOCTOR. No! But I can't myself, you know, positively deny the possibility of it, when a man like Krougosvétlof is connected with it all. How can one? Is he not a professor, – a European celebrity? There must be something in it. I should like to see for myself, but I never have the time. I have other things to do.
SAHÁTOF. Yes, yes! Good morning. [Exit, bowing slightly].
DOCTOR [to Tánya] Is Anna Pávlovna up?
TÁNYA. She's in her bedroom, but please come up.
Doctor goes upstairs.
Theodore Ivánitch enters with a newspaper in his hand.
THEODORE IVÁNITCH [to Porter] What is it you want?
PORTER. I'm from Bourdey's. I brought a dress and a note, and was told to wait.
THEODORE IVÁNITCH. Ah, from Bourdey's! [To Tánya] Who came in just now?
TÁNYA. It was Sergéy Ivánitch Sahátof and the Doctor. They stood talking here a bit. It was all about spiritalism.
THEODORE IVÁNITCH [correcting her] Spiritualism.
TÁNYA. Yes, that's just what I said – spiritalism. Have you heard how well it went off last time, Theodore Ivánitch? [Laughs] There was knocks, and things flew about!
THEODORE IVÁNITCH. And how do you know?
TÁNYA. Miss Elizabeth told me.
Jacob runs in with a tumbler of tea on a tray.
JACOB [to the Porter] Good morning!
PORTER [disconsolately] Good morning!
Jacob knocks at Vasíly Leoníditch's door.
Gregory enters.
GREGORY. Give it here.
JACOB. You didn't bring back all yesterday's tumblers, nor the tray Vasíly Leoníditch had. And it's me that have to answer for them!
GREGORY. The tray is full of cigars.
JACOB. Well, put them somewhere else. It's me who's answerable for it.
GREGORY. I'll bring it back! I'll bring it back!
JACOB. Yes, so you say, but it is not where it ought to be. The other day, just as the tea had to be served, it was not to be found.
GREGORY. I'll bring it back, I tell you. What a fuss!
JACOB. It's easy for you to talk. Here am I serving tea for the third time, and now there's the lunch to get ready. One does nothing but rush about the livelong day. Is there any one in the house who has more to do than me? Yet they are never satisfied with me.
GREGORY. Dear me? Who could wish for any one more satisfactory? You're such a fine fellow!
TÁNYA. Nobody is good enough for you! You alone …
GREGORY [to Tánya] No one asked your opinion! [Exit].
JACOB. Ah well, I don't mind. Tatyána Márkovna, did the mistress say anything about yesterday?
TÁNYA. About the lamp, you mean?
JACOB. And how it managed to drop out of my hands, the Lord only knows! Just as I began rubbing it, and was going to take hold of it in another place, out it slips and goes all to pieces. It's just my luck! It's easy for that Gregory Miháylitch to talk – a single man like him! But when one has a family, one has to consider things: they have to be fed. I don't mind work… So she didn't say anything? The Lord be thanked!.. Oh, Theodore Ivánitch, have you one spoon or two?
THEODORE IVÁNITCH. One. Only one! [Reads newspaper].
Exit Jacob.
Bell rings. Enter Gregory (carrying a tray) and the Doorkeeper.
DOORKEEPER [to Gregory] Tell the master some peasants have come from the village.
GREGORY [pointing to Theodore Ivánitch] Tell the major-domo here, it's his business. I have no time. [Exit].
TÁNYA. Where are these peasants from?
DOORKEEPER. From Koursk, I think.
TÁNYA [shrieks with delight] It's them… It's Simon's father come about the land! I'll