The Well-Beloved: A Sketch of a Temperament. Thomas Hardy
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means to be a great genius in that line some day, they do say.’
‘Well, I’ve done it; and it can’t be mended!’ moaned the girl.
Meanwhile Jocelyn Pierston, the sculptor of budding fame, had gone onward to the house of his father, an inartistic man of trade and commerce merely, from whom, nevertheless, Jocelyn condescended to accept a yearly allowance pending the famous days to come. But the elder, having received no warning of his son’s intended visit, was not at home to receive him. Jocelyn looked round the familiar premises, glanced across the Common at the great yards within which eternal saws were going to and fro upon eternal blocks of stone – the very same saws and the very same blocks that he had seen there when last in the island, so it seemed to him – and then passed through the dwelling into the back garden.
Like all the gardens in the isle it was surrounded by a wall of dry-jointed spawls, and at its further extremity it ran out into a corner, which adjoined the garden of the Caros. He had no sooner reached this spot than he became aware of a murmuring and sobbing on the other side of the wall. The voice he recognized in a moment as Avice’s, and she seemed to be confiding her trouble to some young friend of her own sex.
‘Oh, what shall I DO! what SHALL I do!’ she was saying bitterly. ‘So bold as it was – so shameless! How could I think of such a thing! He will never forgive me – never, never like me again! He’ll think me a forward hussy, and yet – and yet I quite forgot how much I had grown. But that he’ll never believe!’ The accents were those of one who had for the first time become conscious of her womanhood, as an unwonted possession which shamed and frightened her.
‘Did he seem angry at it?’ inquired the friend.
‘O no – not angry! Worse. Cold and haughty. O, he’s such a fashionable person now – not at all an island man. But there’s no use in talking of it. I wish I was dead!’
Pierston retreated as quickly as he could. He grieved at the incident which had brought such pain to this innocent soul; and yet it was beginning to be a source of vague pleasure to him. He returned to the house, and when his father had come back and welcomed him, and they had shared a meal together, Jocelyn again went out, full of an earnest desire to soothe his young neighbour’s sorrow in a way she little expected; though, to tell the truth, his affection for her was rather that of a friend than of a lover, and he felt by no means sure that the migratory, elusive idealization he called his Love who, ever since his boyhood, had flitted from human shell to human shell an indefinite number of times, was going to take up her abode in the body of Avice Caro.
II. THE INCARNATION IS ASSUMED TO BE TRUE
It was difficult to meet her again, even though on this lump of rock the difficulty lay as a rule rather in avoidance than in meeting. But Avice had been transformed into a very different kind of young woman by the self-consciousness engendered of her impulsive greeting, and, notwithstanding their near neighbourhood, he could not encounter her, try as he would. No sooner did he appear an inch beyond his father’s door than she was to earth like a fox; she bolted upstairs to her room.
Anxious to soothe her after his unintentional slight he could not stand these evasions long. The manners of the isle were primitive and straightforward, even among the well-to-do, and noting her disappearance one day he followed her into the house and onward to the foot of the stairs.
‘Avice!’ he called.
‘Yes, Mr. Pierston.’
‘Why do you run upstairs like that?’
‘Oh – only because I wanted to come up for something.’
‘Well, if you’ve got it, can’t you come down again?’
‘No, I can’t very well.’
‘Come, DEAR Avice. That’s what you are, you know.’
There was no response.
‘Well, if you won’t, you won’t!’ he continued. ‘I don’t want to bother you.’ And Pierston went away.
He was stopping to look at the old-fashioned flowers under the garden walls when he heard a voice behind him.
‘Mr. Pierston – I wasn’t angry with you. When you were gone I thought – you might mistake me, and I felt I could do no less than come and assure you of my friendship still.’
Turning he saw the blushing Avice immediately behind him.
‘You are a good, dear girl!’ said he, and, seizing her hand, set upon her cheek the kind of kiss that should have been the response to hers on the day of his coming.
‘Darling Avice, forgive me for the slight that day! Say you do. Come, now! And then I’ll say to you what I have never said to any other woman, living or dead: “Will you have me as your husband?”’
‘Ah! – mother says I am only one of many!’
‘You are not, dear. You knew me when I was young, and others didn’t.’
Somehow or other her objections were got over, and though she did not give an immediate assent, she agreed to meet him later in the afternoon, when she walked with him to the southern point of the island called the Beal, or, by strangers, the Bill, pausing over the treacherous cavern known as Cave Hole, into which the sea roared and splashed now as it had done when they visited it together as children. To steady herself while looking in he offered her his arm, and she took it, for the first time as a woman, for the hundredth time as his companion.
They rambled on to the lighthouse, where they would have lingered longer if Avice had not suddenly remembered an engagement to recite poetry from a platform that very evening at the Street of Wells, the village commanding the entrance to the island – the village that has now advanced to be a town.
‘Recite!’ said he. ‘Who’d have thought anybody or anything could recite down here except the reciter we hear away there – the never speechless sea.’
‘O but we are quite intellectual now. In the winter particularly. But, Jocelyn – don’t come to the recitation, will you? It would spoil my performance if you were there, and I want to be as good as the rest.’
‘I won’t if you really wish me not to. But I shall meet you at the door and bring you home.’
‘Yes!’ she said, looking up into his face. Avice was perfectly happy now; she could never have believed on that mortifying day of his coming that she would be so happy with him. When they reached the east side of the isle they parted, that she might be soon enough to take her place on the platform. Pierston went home, and after dark, when it was about the hour for accompanying her back, he went along the middle road northward to the Street of Wells.
He was full of misgiving. He had known Avice Caro so well of old that his feeling for her now was rather comradeship than love; and what he had said to her in a moment of impulse that morning rather appalled him in its consequences. Not that any of the more sophisticated and accomplished women who had attracted him successively would be likely to rise inconveniently between them. For he had quite disabused his mind of the assumption that the idol of his fancy was an integral part of the personality in which it had sojourned for a long or a short while.
To his Well-Beloved he had always been faithful; but she had had many embodiments. Each individuality known as Lucy, Jane, Flora, Evangeline, or what-not, had been merely a transient condition of her. He did not recognize this as an excuse or as a defence, but as a fact simply. Essentially she was perhaps of no tangible substance; a spirit, a dream, a frenzy, a conception, an aroma, an epitomized sex, a light of the eye, a parting of the lips. God only knew what she really was; Pierston did not. She was indescribable.
Never much considering that she was a subjective phenomenon vivified by the weird influences of his descent and birthplace, the discovery of her ghostliness, of her independence of physical laws and failings, had occasionally given him a sense of fear. He never knew where she next would be, whither she would lead him, having herself instant access to all ranks and classes, to every abode of men. Sometimes at night he dreamt that she was ‘the wile-weaving Daughter of high Zeus’ in person, bent on tormenting him for