The Art of Biography

      Is different from Geography.

      Geography is about Maps,

      But Biography is about Chaps.

      Sir Christopher Wren

      Said, "I am going to dine with some men.

      "If anybody calls

      "Say I am designing St. Paul's."

      The people of Spain think Cervantes

      Equal to half-a-dozen Dantes:

      An opinion resented most bitterly

      By the people of Italy.

      Mr Bernard Shaw

      Was just setting out for the war,

      When he heard it was a dangerous trade

      And demonstrably underpaid.

      Sir Humphrey Davy

      Abominated gravy.

      He lived in the odium

      Of having discovered Sodium.

      John Stuart Mill,

      By a mighty effort of will,

      Overcame his natural bonhomie

      And wrote "Principles of Political Economy."

      The Abbé Liszt

      Hit the piano with his fist.

      That was the way

      He used to play.

      What I like about Clive

      Is that he is no longer alive.

      There is a great deal to be said

      For being dead.

      Edward the Confessor

      Slept under the dresser.

      When that began to pall,

      He slept in the hall.

      Dr Clifford

      And I have differed.

      He disapproves of gin:

      I disapprove of sin.

      Chapman & Hall

      Swore not at all.

      Mr Chapman's yea was yea,

      And Mr Hall's nay was nay.