DUCHESS.  Shall this move me?  If all my royal kindred

        Lay in my way unto this marriage,

        I 'd make them my low footsteps.  And even now,

        Even in this hate, as men in some great battles,

        By apprehending danger, have achiev'd

        Almost impossible actions (I have heard soldiers say so),

        So I through frights and threatenings will assay

        This dangerous venture.  Let old wives report

        I wink'd and chose a husband. – Cariola,

        To thy known secrecy I have given up

        More than my life, – my fame.

        CARIOLA.                      Both shall be safe;

        For I 'll conceal this secret from the world

        As warily as those that trade in poison

        Keep poison from their children.

        DUCHESS.                          Thy protestation

        Is ingenious and hearty; I believe it.

        Is Antonio come?

        CARIOLA.          He attends you.

        DUCHESS.                           Good dear soul,

        Leave me; but place thyself behind the arras,

        Where thou mayst overhear us.  Wish me good speed;

        For I am going into a wilderness,

        Where I shall find nor path nor friendly clue

        To be my guide.

      [Cariola goes behind the arras.]

                         I sent for you:  sit down;

        Take pen and ink, and write:  are you ready?

        ANTONIO.                                      Yes.

        DUCHESS.  What did I say?

        ANTONIO.  That I should write somewhat.

        DUCHESS.                                 O, I remember.

        After these triumphs and this large expense

        It 's fit, like thrifty husbands,21 we inquire

        What 's laid up for to-morrow.

        ANTONIO.  So please your beauteous excellence.

        DUCHESS.                                        Beauteous!

        Indeed, I thank you.  I look young for your sake;

        You have ta'en my cares upon you.

        ANTONIO.                           I 'll fetch your grace

        The particulars of your revenue and expense.

        DUCHESS.  O, you are

        An upright treasurer:  but you mistook;

        For when I said I meant to make inquiry

        What 's laid up for to-morrow, I did mean

        What 's laid up yonder for me.

        ANTONIO.                        Where?

        DUCHESS.                                In heaven.

        I am making my will (as 'tis fit princes should,

        In perfect memory), and, I pray, sir, tell me,

        Were not one better make it smiling, thus,

        Than in deep groans and terrible ghastly looks,

        As if the gifts we parted with procur'd22  That violent distraction?

        ANTONIO.                   O, much better.

        DUCHESS.  If I had a husband now, this care were quit:

        But I intend to make you overseer.

        What good deed shall we first remember?  Say.

        ANTONIO.  Begin with that first good deed began i' the world

        After man's creation, the sacrament of marriage;

        I 'd have you first provide for a good husband;

        Give him all.

        DUCHESS.       All!

        ANTONIO.             Yes, your excellent self.

        DUCHESS.  In a winding-sheet?

        ANTONIO.                       In a couple.

        DUCHESS.  Saint Winifred, that were a strange will!

        ANTONIO.  'Twere stranger23 if there were no will in you

        To marry again.

        DUCHESS.         What do you think of marriage?

        ANTONIO.  I take 't, as those that deny purgatory,

        It locally contains or heaven or hell;

        There 's no third place in 't.

        DUCHESS.                        How do you affect it?

        ANTONIO.  My banishment, feeding my melancholy,

        Would often reason thus.

        DUCHESS.                  Pray, let 's hear it.

        ANTONIO.  Say a man never marry, nor have children,

        What takes that from him?  Only the bare name

        Of being a father, or the weak delight

        To see the little wanton ride a-cock-horse

        Upon a painted stick, or hear him chatter

        Like a taught starling.

        DUCHESS.                 Fie, fie, what 's all this?

        One of your eyes is blood-shot; use my ring to 't.

        They say 'tis very sovereign.  'Twas my wedding-ring,

        And I did vow never to part with it

        But to my second husband.

        ANTONIO.  You have parted with it now.

        DUCHESS.  Yes, to help your eye-sight.