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Читать онлайн книгу.Vendelovskaya talks about her son’s situation and the beginning of her journey in our project.
This was very recent, she had been studying for just 2 months and in the video you can hear about her son’s results. Here is the transcript of Marina's story:
«Hello, my name is Marina Vendelovskaya, I am from the Voronezh region, and this is my video report on Liana Dimitrokskina's course "MAu-Therapy".
I started the MAu-Therapy program by accident, and, I should say right away that it was a lucky accident. My son Daniel is a late-in-life baby. I have two adult daughters; they are both successful and independent. But the boy had problems from the get-go. He had several surgeries right after birth (the labor was difficult) and is autistic; he has developmental delay, very weak memory and attention deficit disorder. This is our greatest misfortune in life.
When I started Liana Ivanovna’s course I didn’t know her and didn’t really expect any impressive results, as we had tried everything. The most surprising thing is that on this course I am working on myself, but it is my son who is changing. These changes were noticeable from the first few classes. In the first few weeks I noticed my son becoming more peaceful, more cheerful, more connected to me and his father, less secluded. This inspired us immensely! I continued my studies and at the moment I have completed just 2 out of 9 trimesters of Liana Ivanovna’s course.
So, what do we have now?
Firstly, I want to say that one of the most important things for us is socialization. Our child goes to school (he attends a regular school) when he was always an outcast. Children bullied him, teachers dismissed him; frankly speaking, going to school was torture for him. And now, when I completed 2 trimesters, only 2 out of 9, the situation has changed drastically. Our child goes to school with great pleasure. He has the same classmates who thought nothing of him but now they are great friends. He gets along wonderfully with the kids in the neighborhood, even initiating some games. Children come and call him to play outside, they go hiking, and they have many activities together. And when my son comes home from school – he is always cheerful, joyful, and eager to talk and share his day with us. Before he never said “we”, he always said «they» – “they” wrote the test, “they” were doing something today. «We» appeared just on the second week of my studies. Our son came and said “we”. This is very important for us. I believe this is very important for every parent.
What else? About his attention deficit. He is much more attentive and responsible now. If before he couldn’t even remember the lessons he had, the homework he was given, never writing anything down, then now he is worried about being ready for a test, when that test will be and if he needs to bring something to school. We were terrified to leave him alone at home before whereas now that’s not a problem. What’s more, aside from the chores we give him sometimes he takes initiative to do something nice for his parents, to please us, he could make something to eat or wash the dishes or something else we didn’t ask for. Aside from this he’s got new interests now, he’s become more interested in various things. He draws very well and he started reading more.
His speech has started improving. He used to mumble before and this interfered with his communication. Now he speaks much clearer and we see that he is more careful and conscious of his speech, he’s become more confident.
Also, he used to have constant compulsive spontaneous movements, whether he touched his face, or pulled some grimaces, or poked his stomach with his fingers. This has almost disappeared.
Before we also had a problem with sleepwalking; he would walk at night, jump up, run somewhere. I slept very lightly so we could catch him, to avoid something bad happening. Now this has also stopped.
I would also like to say that he gets sick less despite his main diagnosis which unfortunately is very troublesome for us. Now he is even allowed to attend physical education classes, although in the past he was always exempted from sports. And he is delighted, very happy that he can engage with his peers. You know, there is so much to say, so many things that I get lost, it's just impossible to tell you everything.
I'm just happy that I started Liana Ivanovna's course. This course is so extensive, so gigantic, such colossal work, and it shows. Believe me, I’m not a newbie in psychology, I myself engaged in Systemic Family Constellations, Metaphoric Cards and I teach courses and provide training so I can appreciate this huge amount of work and how extensive this course is.
There is also a side-effect – a very remarkable side-effect, it’s not just my son’s health which is improving, but our family’s relationship too. Although my husband and I always had a wonderful relationship, and I thought it cannot get better, it turned out that it is possible; it went from good to amazing. So to sum up, those who want to have a healthy child, a healthy son, and a happy, cheerful, joyful family – I advise you to start the "Mau-Therapy” course and be healthy and happy. Let there be a lot of joy in your life. Thanks to Liana Ivanovna, I am forever grateful.»
80 % of autistic kids are boys so it’s hardly surprising that in the first few months our test group consisted of mothers of boys.
But with time mothers of girls started coming too and all the girls showed results. We can’t say they are statistically reliable yet since we haven’t had many but the trend is clear and favorable.
Why Google and Wikipedia agree that autism is incurable
Now let's talk a little bit about why we haven’t learned how to treat children's autism.
Have you ever seen an apple rotting on a tree? It hasn’t fallen yet, it’s sick on the apple tree. And now attention, question. If the apple is sick on the apple tree do you have to treat the apple or the tree? The apple tree plus maybe the soil under it.
The apple tree.
And when we talk about apples, it's obvious.
But the same thing happens with children. They are just apples from an apple tree, and here they are, children-apples, they come and we start treating them. How can you cure an apple? It’s the tree that we should be treating. That’s why no one has been able to find a way to treat children. Because you need to treat the entire family.
Someone might say: this is shifting responsibility to those around; why should I treat the parents when it’s the child who is sick.
And this is such a typical reaction.
Why are you suggesting to treat me, the mother, am I the one who is sick? It’s the child who is sick. Treat the child! What am I? Someone crazy or slow? It’s my child who is inhibited / hyper aggressive / like this and like that.
No, my darlings. It's not the apple which is ill. The whole tree is ill. The whole family. If you've ever heard about Systemic Family Constellations and have an idea about what it is then you might understand what I'm talking about. Those who have not heard about this please go online where you can find all the information for free. You can download my first book about family constellations, “Housewife Dara" written in 2003 at http://www.koob.ru/dimitroshkina/hozyaika_dara. It’s written in an interesting, artistic way, vividly describing the ‘behind the scenes’ life of a constellation facilitator.
There are inexorable systemic mechanisms.
What kind of system am I talking about? I am talking about the family system now.
Where there is your dad, mom, parents, their parents, their parents, their parents, and the tree goes on and on. Do you know how many direct ancestors you have? If you count for a 100 years – it's about 5 generations – 32 people. And for 200 years there are 1024 people in your family tree. And for 400 years there are over a million, 1048576 people.
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