The Way to myself. Андрей Алексеев
Читать онлайн книгу.
ur journey following the steps of the authors, make some hot tea, forget your worries, and feel the flow of life, as we did while writing this book.
I lived as a businessman for 20 years. That was a time dedicated to gathering valuable experience in life and entrepreneurism. I created my business projects one after another, they grew fast and became successful. I studied a lot during those years, and I learned a huge number of diverse skills. The thought about sharing my knowledge in a practical book for beginners in business has always touched some strings of my soul, but every time I was about to start writing such a book, I couldn’t do anything, and started doing something else. I had no wish of forcing myself to do that. Therefore, I left that idea behind again and again.
As soon as my life started changing fast, I started a long journey full of obscurity – the Way to myself. I found out that the concept of “I am a businessman” stopped being the key description of my life. Today it’s just one of my social roles, instead of being the meaning of my life, or a measure of how successful it is. My true inner being, the one who I really am, is much more expansive than a standard definition like “Andrey Alekseev, a businessman, a son, a husband, a father, a friend, etc…” It’s more like an amazing feeling that, “I am the master of my life”.
While studying myself, I had to go through really diverse experiences that were sometimes pretty tough. I moved towards obscurity through my own fears and limitations. Often, I went nowhere. Despite this, my wish to learn about my true “me” and my real being was so strong, that there were no obstacles (neither inner nor outer ones), which could stop me continuing on my path.
Once I asked my Teacher – a person, who helped me on my path to learn about myself, what would he suggest to me I do, what should my next step on the Way to myself be?
I thought, a new meditation practice, or a mind cleansing technique would be shown to me… “Go on and write a book!” the Teacher said. Frankly speaking, that was a very strange answer to me. I understood I didn’t know how I would go about doing that. What could I tell others? What could I share with them?
As time passed by, I did lots of different things, and the idea about a book seemed to be dissolved somewhere in the depth of my mind. That happened until Anna, a friend of mine, said that there was a person in our surrounding, who was interested in writing a book about a personal experience of deep inner changes. I decided to give it a chance and see what would happen, and if anything would happen at all. I met Lada Vilisova. We discussed the idea, and let it go for a while to let it get ripe.
Later on, while thinking about my future book, I realized I didn’t want to imagine anything. I thought to myself, “Let the book be born as naturally as children do. Let everything happen on its own. Let it be written and concluded on its own, naturally and harmoniously.” Even though I still hadn’t had any ideas on what a book writer should do, and how it happens usually, I said to Lada, “I’m open for any questions which would interest you. I will be honest about my thoughts, my words, and the experience I’m going to share.” That’s how we started our work, from the point of absolute obscurity regarding what result would come out of it.
Gradually, moving from question to answer, from one topic to another, our new book got its own character, inner links, and specific image system. The book was being born and growing like a child.
And of course, at that moment we didn’t think about our target audience, we didn’t consider positioning, nor did we develop any marketing strategies. We lived and wrote being in the flow of the Present, did our business, and stayed ourselves.
This book was not imagined, but it was lived through. It represents the inner experience I received during the years of my life. It is truthful in each word. This book is about the personal experience of a man, who used to ask himself the same questions about the IMPORTANT THINGS, as each of you does. It is about how he looked for, found, or invented his own answers. It is about where he has reached in the end, what supported him on his way, which obstacles he faced, and what it all led him to. One chapter of “Way to myself” can be described as “quotidian”, another one helps to get over the routine, and take a look at your life from the height of a Divine perspective.
This book doesn’t contain any unexpected plot twists, or fictional scenes – the only thing you can find here are some simple answers to difficult questions.
Whom is this book for? For those, who are on their Way of finding themselves, the Way, which is harmonious for their souls. Those people who seek, doubt, who don’t always feel ready to share their doubts, or just don’t know whom to speak with about the things which make them worried. At that actual stage, they need something more than certain instructions, or to learn about meditation, practices, lifestyle… Those people want to understand how they can find their own Way in the real world. They need a place of support. They need to believe that spiritual research, self-development, and material and emotional wealth are all possible to achieve for anybody, and that there are some people who have already managed to change their lives for the better.
I’m one of you, my dear readers. A person, who made his way on the road of research, losses, insights, mistakes, and finally found his own Way.
You can do that as well! You will.
Good luck on your Way to yourself!
Chapter 1. Finding myself
In my childhood, I used to be a really active and stubborn kid. My mom said that while she and my father were walking from the bus stop to our home, I could dash there and back several times.
From my very childhood, I felt as though there was a kind of flame inside me, and that flame forced me forward. At school I was very much into volleyball. I trained twice a day for 7 years in a row. I made my way through to the Russian National team. And that’s as far as my career in sports went.
Overall, as far as I can remember, I’ve always tried to achieve the maximum in whatever I did. I threw myself into those activities, and did my absolute best. However, I always managed to find a new interest as soon as I understood that the previous one was exhausted.
Pretty early, still as a school student, I read Theodore Dreiser’s Trilogy of desire: “The Financier. The Titan. The Stoic”. The life of the protagonist was so inspiring for me, that I decided immediately: “I’ll be a businessman!” And at that time, it was not about money. Not at all.
I WANTED TO CREATE, DESIGN SOMETHING GRANDIOSE. BUSINESS LOOKED LIKE AN EXTREMELY INTERESTING GAME.
After high school, I passed my university exams. At the same time, me and my friend Nikolay started working over setting up our very first business. And we worked a lot. One company, which sold alcohol, offered for us to become their sales representatives (as it’s called nowadays): to buy their products at wholesale prices, and sell them at retail. Me and my friend (being about 17–18 years old), rented a place at the market – and started bringing alcohol to sell. Then, in 1991, there was nothing like market economy in Russia yet. There even was a joke: “If you stick a rod in the soil, it will be blooming soon (meant produce a profit)”.
The business went well. At first, we used to bring the products in a little cart. Then – by minivans. And finally (pretty fast, actually), by railway carriages. So, by the time we started our university studies, we had earned enough to buy a 3‑bedroom apartment, and 3 cars. We only bought those things as a way to invest our money.
I was a student, but my heart was won over by business so much that it became absolutely clear: it was what I wanted and would do. In the mornings I studied at the University, in the afternoons – sold alcohol. And that’s how it was everyday: the market, alcohol, and a huge income (for those days)… We, two young guys, gained so much money that I couldn’t lift the bag with daily earnings alone. We took bags of cash to Moscow, and bought railway carriages of products to deliver to Novosibirsk. By the time we arrived back home – we already had lots of people in line to purchase what we brought.
In the end, I couldn’t understand why would I need a university education at all. I was in my freshman year – and I came to the lectures driving my own car. Lots of beautiful girls surrounded me. We spent both time and money for our own entertainment, for our own pleasure. We enjoyed our lives… I felt I was free and almighty!
Those days, business was my major interest, and in business the