Flashman Papers 3-Book Collection 4: Flashman and the Dragon, Flashman on the March, Flashman and the Tiger. George Fraser MacDonald
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topheavy administration, of the abyss between the despotic, luxuriating rulers and the miserable slave populace in this glorious revolution dedicated to equality – it’s all in my Dawns and Departures of a Soldier’s Life (one of the volumes D’Israeli’s bailiffs never got their hands on), and ain’t to the point here. Enough to say that I recognised the Taiping as a power that bade fair to engulf China – and was already mad and rotten at the heart.
Don’t mistake me; I don’t preach. You know my morals and ideals, and you won’t find the Archbishop shopping for ’em in a hurry. But I know right from wrong, as perhaps only a scoundrel can, and I’ll say that there was great virtue in the notion of Taiping – if it hadn’t somehow been jarred sideways, and become a perversion, so that the farther it went, the farther it ran off the true. One thing I knew I would tell Bruce: the Manchoos might be a corrupt, unsavoury, awkward crew, but we mustn’t touch this ship of fools with a bargepole – not even if the alternative was to go to war with them. And that was a daunting thought, for the one thing right about the Taiping was its army.
I saw that for myself when Lee took me to Soochow, the last big Imp foothold in the Yangtse valley, about thirty miles south of Nanking and one hundred and fifty from Shanghai. It was a strong place, with heavy fortifications on White Dragon Hill, and as soon as I saw them I put Lee down privately as a bungler who must have been lucky until now, for he’d brought hardly a gun with him. Twenty thousand good infantry, marching like guardsmen and chanting their war-songs, transport and commissariat as fine as you could wish for, the whole advance perfectly conducted – but when I looked at those crenellated walls, with the Imp gunners blazing away long before our vanguard came in range, and the paper tigers and devil banners being waved from ramparts crowded with men … well, it’s your infantry you’ll be wasting, thinks I. How long a siege did he anticipate, I asked him, and he smiled quietly and says:
“My banner will be on White Dragon Hill within three hours.”
And it was. He told me later he had close on three hundred infiltrators inside the walls, disguised as Imp soldiers; they’d been at work with friendly citizens, and at the given time two of the gates were blown open from within, and the Taiping infantry just rolled in like a wave. I’ve never seen the like: those long ranks of red coats simply thundered forward, changing formation as they went, into two hammerheads that engulfed the gates, up went the black death banners, and heedless of the storm of shot that met them those howling devils surged into the city and carried all before them. The battle lasted perhaps an hour, and then the Imps wisely changed sides, and they and the Taipings sacked the place, slaughtering and looting wholesale. I wasn’t inside the walls until next day, by which time it was a smoking, bloodstained ruin; if there was a living citizen left he wasn’t walking about, I can tell you.
“Nothing can withstand the might of the Tien Wang,” says Lee, and I thought, God help Shanghai. I realised then that my soldiering had been of the genteel, polite variety – well-mannered actions like Cawnpore and Balaclava and the Kabul retreat in which at least the occasional prisoner was taken. In China, the idea of war is to kill everything that stirs and burn everything that don’t. Just that.
I was a week at Soochow with Lee, and then he sent me back to Nanking, to ponder and count the weeks till my release. I won’t bore you with their passage; I was well housed and cared for at Lee’s palace, feeding of the best, but nothing to do except loaf and fret and improve my Chinese, and devil a wench to bless myself with, thanks to their godless laws. Which, when I considered what was going on in the Grand Palace of Glory and Light, was enough to make me bay at the stars.
The only diversion I had while I ate the beansprouts of idleness and brooded lewdly on the Bearer of Heavenly Decrees and the Tien Wang’s Heavenly Twins (I was never inside his palace again, by the way) was when Hung Jen-kan would have me over to his house for a prose. The more I saw of him, the better I liked him; he was stout and jolly and full of fun, and was plainly the only dog in the pack with two sane brains to rub together – damned good brains they were, too, as I discovered, and for all his jokes and guffaws he was a dangerous and ambitious man. He had great charm, and when you sat with him in his big cluttered yamen (for he kept nothing like the sybaritic state of the other Wangs; rude comfort was his sort) it was like gossiping with a chum in the gunroom: the place was littered with port bottles, full and empty, along with three Colt revolvers on the side-table, boxes of patent matches, a broken telescope, a well-thumbed Bible next to the Woolwich Manual of Fortification, a shelf packed with jars of Coward’s mixed pickles, bundles of silver ingots tied with red waxed string and thrown carelessly on the bed, an old barometer, piles of French crockery, jade ornaments, tea-cups, a print of the Holy Well in Flintshire propped up against The Young Cricketer’s Companion, and papers, books, and rubbish spread in dusty confusion.
And in the middle of it all, that laughing fat rascal in his untidy yellow robe, swilling port by the pint and eating steak with a knife and fork, pushing the bottle at me, lighting our cheroots, chortling at his own jokes, and crying thanks after his servants – who were the ugliest old crones imaginable, for Jen-kan of all the Wangs kept no harem, or affected any grand style. Aye, it was easy to forget that in little more than a year he’d climbed within a step of supreme power in this crazy revolution, and held in his podgy fingers all the reins of state.16
The other Wangs were a surly crew of peasants beside him – Hung Jen-ta, the Heavenly King’s elder brother, who gave himself ridiculous airs and sported silk robes of rainbow colours; Ying Wang, the Heroic King, who bit his nails and stuttered; and the formidable Chen Yu-cheng, who had abetted Lee in the great defeat of the Imps a few weeks before; he was from the same stable as the Loyal Prince, but even younger and more handsome, dressed like a plain soldier, never saying a word beyond a grunt, and staring through you with black snake eyes. They said he was the most ferocious of all the Taiping leaders, and I believed it.
One other I met at Jen-kan’s house, a weedy, pathetic little lad of about eleven, tricked out in a gold crown and sceptre and a robe fairly crusted with jewels; everyone fawned on him and knocked head something extravagant, for he was the Tien Kuei, the Junior Lord, son of the Heavenly King – which made him Jesus’s nephew, I suppose.
Possibly they all talked sense in the Council, with Hung Jen-kan, though I doubt it; in public their conversation seemed to consist of childish discussion of the Heavenly King’s latest decree, or poem, or pronouncement, with misquoted references to the Scriptures every other sentence. It was like listening to a gang of labourers who’d got religious mania; it wasn’t real; if I hadn’t had Jen-kan to talk to, I believe I’d have lost all hold on common sense.
At least he could give me occasional news of the world outside, which he did very fairly and humorously (although if I’d known the thoughts that were passing behind that genial chubby mask I’d have got precious little sleep of nights). It was a waiting time, that early summer of ’60, not only for me, but for all China. Elgin had arrived at last, and sailed north with Grant and the Frogs to the Peiho mouth, whence they would march 15,000 strong to Pekin in August, Jen-kan reckoned, though it was doubtful if they would get there before September. By then Lee would have launched his sudden stroke at Shanghai, forcing Bruce to choose one side or t’other at last; meanwhile Jen-kan was bombarding him with letters to which Bruce didn’t reply. So there was a lull through June and July, with Grant and Elgin girding their loins to the north, and Bruce and the Taipings listening for each other at either end of the Yangtse valley. Only one minor portent disturbed the peace, and when Jen-kan told me about it, I couldn’t believe my ears. But it was plain, sober, unlikely truth, as follows:
With Shanghai in uncertainty, the China merchants there had got the notion to raise a mercenary force to help defend the city if the Taipings attacked. According to Jen-kan, it was a bit of a joke – a mob of waterfront rowdies, sailors, deserters, and beachcombers, everyone but the town drunk – oh, no, he was there, too, in force. There were Britons, Yankees, Frogs, wogs, wops, Greeks, every sort of dago – and who d’you think was at the head of this band of angels? None other than Mr Frederick Townsend Ward.
It just shows what can happen when your back’s