The Complete Farseer Trilogy: Assassin’s Apprentice, Royal Assassin, Assassin’s Quest. Robin Hobb
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this little beast had gobbled, he didn’t have a chance.
‘It was fresh, and well-cooked. The same trout I had at dinner.’
‘Well, at least it’s not likely to be poisonous to him. Right now, it’s just the bone. But if he gets it down, it’s still likely to kill him.’
She gasped. ‘No, it can’t! He mustn’t die. He’ll be fine. He just has an upset stomach. I just fed him too much. He’ll be fine! What do you know about it anyway, kitchen-boy?’
I watched the feist go through another round of convulsive retching. Nothing came up but yellow bile. ‘I’m not a kitchen-boy. I’m a dog-boy. Verity’s own dog-boy, if you must know. And if we don’t help this little pup, he’s going to die. Very soon.’
She watched, her face a mixture of awe and horror, as I gripped her little pet firmly. I’m trying to help. He didn’t believe me. I prised his jaws open and forced my two fingers down his gullet. The feist gagged even more fiercely, and pawed at me frantically. His claws needed cutting, too. With the tips of my fingers I could feel the bone. I twiddled my fingers against it, and felt it move, but it was wedged sideways in the little beast’s throat. The dog gave a strangled howl and struggled frantically in my arms. I let him go. ‘Well. He’s not going to get rid of that without some help,’ I observed.
I left her wailing and snivelling over him. At least she didn’t snatch him up and squeeze him. I got myself a handful of butter from the keg and plopped it into my stew bowl. Now, I needed something hooked, or sharply curved, but not too large … I rattled through bins, and finally came up with a curved hook of metal with a handle on it. Possibly it was used to lift hot pots off the fire.
‘Sit down,’ I told the maid.
She gaped at me, and then sat obediently on the bench I’d pointed to.
‘Now hold him firmly, between your knees. And don’t let him go, no matter how he claws and wiggles or yelps. And hold onto his front feet, so he doesn’t claw me to ribbons while I’m doing this. Understand?’
She took a deep breath, then gulped and nodded. Tears were streaming down her face. I set the dog on her lap and put her hands on him.
‘Hold tight,’ I told her. I scooped up a gobbet of butter. ‘I’m going to use the fat to grease things up. Then I’ve got to force his jaws open, and hook the bone and jerk it out. Are you ready?’
She nodded. The tears had stopped flowing and her lips were set. I was glad to see she had some strength to her. I nodded back.
Getting the butter down was the easy part. It blocked his throat, though, and his panic increased, pounding at my self-control with his waves of terror. I had no time to be gentle as I forced his jaws open, and then put the hook down his throat. I hoped I wouldn’t snag his flesh. But if I did, well, he would die anyway. I turned the tool in his throat as he wiggled and yelped and pissed all over his mistress. The hook caught on the bone and I pulled, evenly and firmly.
It came up in a welter of froth and bile and blood. A nasty little bone, not a fish bone at all, but the partial breastbone of a small bird. I flipped it onto the table. ‘And he shouldn’t have poultry bones either,’ I told her severely.
I don’t think she even heard me. Doggie was wheezing gratefully on her lap. I picked up the dish of water and held it out to him. He sniffed it, lapped a bit, and then curled up, exhausted. She picked him up and cradled him in her arms, her head bent over his.
‘There’s something I want from you,’ I began.
‘Anything.’ She spoke into his fur. ‘Ask, and it’s yours.’
‘First, stop giving him your food. Give him only red meat and boiled grain for a while. And for a dog that size, no more than you can cup in your hand. And don’t carry him everywhere. Make him run about, to give him some muscle and wear down his nails. And wash him. He smells foul, coat and breath, from too-rich food, or he won’t live but another year or two.’
She looked up, stricken. Her hand went up to her mouth. And something in her motion, so like her self-conscious touching of her jewellery at dinner, suddenly made me realize who I was scolding. Lady Grace. And I had made her dog piss on her nightrobe.
Something in my face must have given me away. She smiled delightedly and held her feist closer. ‘I’ll do as you suggest, dog-boy. But for yourself? Is there nothing you’d ask as reward?’
She thought I’d ask for a coin or ring or even a position with her household. Instead, as steadily as I could, I looked at her and said, ‘Please, Lady Grace. I ask that you ask your lord to man Watch Island’s tower with the best of his men, to put an end to the strife between Rippon and Shoaks Duchies.’
‘What?’
That single word question told me volumes about her. The accent and inflection hadn’t been learned as Lady Grace.
‘Ask your lord to man his towers well. Please.’
‘Why does a dog-boy care about such things?’
Her question was too blunt. Wherever Kelvar had found her, she hadn’t been high-born, or wealthy before this. Her delight when I recognized her, the way she had brought her dog down to the familiar comfort of a kitchen, by herself, wrapped in her blanket, told of a common girl elevated too quickly and too far above her previous station. She was lonely, and uncertain, and uneducated as to what was expected of her. Worse, she knew that she was ignorant, and that knowledge ate at her and soured her pleasures with fear. If she did not learn how to be a duchess before her youth and beauty faded, only years of loneliness and ridicule could await her. She needed a mentor, someone secret, like Chade. She needed the advice I could give her, right now. But I had to go carefully, for she would not accept advice from a dog-boy. Only a common girl might do that, and the only thing she knew about herself right now was that she was no longer a common girl, but a duchess.
‘I had a dream,’ I said, suddenly inspired. ‘So clear. Like a vision. Or a warning. It woke me and I felt I must come to the kitchen.’ I let my eyes unfocus. Her eyes went wide. I had her. ‘I dreamed of a woman, who spoke wise words and turned three strong men into a united wall that the Red Ship Raiders could not breach. She stood before them, and jewels were in her hands, and she said, “Let the watchtowers shine brighter than the gems in these rings. Let the vigilant soldiers who man them encircle our coast as these pearls used to encircle my neck. Let the keeps be strengthened anew against those who threaten our people. For I would be glad to walk plain in the sight of both king and commoner, and let the defences that guard our people become the jewels of our land”. And the King and his dukes were astounded at her wise heart and noble ways. But her people loved her best of all, for they knew she loved them better than gold or silver.’
It was awkward, not near as cleverly spoken as I had hoped to make it. But it caught her fancy. I could see her imagining herself standing straight and noble before the King and astonishing him with her sacrifice. I sensed in her the burning desire to distinguish herself, to be spoken of admiringly by the people she had come from. This would show them she was now a duchess in more than name. Lord Shemshy and his entourage would carry word of her deed back to Shoaks Duchy. Minstrels would celebrate her words in song. And her husband for once would be surprised by her. Let him see her as someone who cared for the land and folk, rather than the pretty little thing he had snared with his title. I could almost see the thoughts parade through her mind. Her eyes had gone distant and she wore an abstracted smile.
‘Good night, dog-boy,’ she said softly, and glided from the kitchen, her dog cuddled against her breast. She wore the blanket around her shoulders as if it were a cloak of ermine. She would play her role tomorrow very well. I grinned suddenly, wondering if I had accomplished my mission without poison. Not that I had really investigated whether or not Kelvar was guilty of treason; but I had a feeling that I had chopped the root of the problem. I was willing to bet that Watch Island tower would be well-manned before the week was out.
I made my way back up to my bed. I had pilfered a loaf of fresh bread from the kitchen and this I offered