For my husband, whoever you are.

      Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

Prologue: The Husband Store

PART ONE: How Did We Get Here?

1: The Dating Trenches

2: The Romantic Comedy That Predicted My Future

3: How Feminism Fucked Up My Love Life

4: Speed Dating Disaster

PART TWO: From Fantasy to Reality

5: Older, and Wanting to Be Wiser

       6: $3,500 for Love

       7: The What Versus the Why

       8: Mondays with Evan: Session One: The Percentages

       9: It’s Not Him, It’s You

       PART THREE: Making Smarter Choices

       10: Don’t Be Picky, Be Happy

       11: Mondays with Evan: Session Two: The Wrong Assumptions

       12: The Men Who Got Away

       13: Pulling Another Sheldon

       14: Mondays with Evan: Session Three: The Lowdown

       15: What First Dates Really Tell Us

       16: Are Wo men Pickier Than Men?

       PART FOUR: What Really Matters

       17: Mondays with Evan Session Four: Wants Versus Needs

       18: The Business of Love

       19: Love at Twenty-seventh Sight

       20: Mondays with Evan: Session Five: The Chemistry-to-Compatibility Ratio

       21: Dump the List, Not the Guy

       PART FIVE: Putting It All Together

       22: The Good Enough Marriage

       23: A Visit with the Rabb

       24: Claire’s Story—Getting Over Myself

       25: Alexandra’s Story—Mr. Right in Front of Me

       26: Hilary’s Story—Finding What I Needed

       27: My Story—A Dating Public Service Announcement

       Epilogue: Where They Are Now

       Acknowledgments

       ALSO BY LORI GOTTLIEB

       Copyright

       About the Publisher

      The events and facts presented in this book are true and based upon my reallife experiences and research. Names and personal details of some of my friends and others who appear in the book have been changed or, in a few instances, composites created either at the individual’s request or out of my concern for their privacy.

      You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep

       because reality is finally better than your dreams.

       —Widely attributed to Dr. Seuss

Prologue The Husband Store

       A NEW STORE HAS OPENED. A HUSBAND STORE! THERE‘S A SIGN AT THE ENTRANCE:

       YOU MAY VISIT THE HUSBAND STORE ONLY ONCE. THERE ARE SIX FLOORS, AND THE VALUE OF THE PRODUCTS INCREASE ON EACH SUCCESSIVE FLOOR. THE SHOPPER CAN CHOOSE ANY ITEM FROM A PARTICULAR FLOOR, OR GO UP TO SHOP ON THE NEXT FLOOR, BUT SHE CANNOT GO BACK DOWN EXCEPT TO EXIT THE BUILDING.

       So, a woman goes into the store. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

       FLOOR I— MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS.

       “That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.” So she continues upward, where the sign reads:

       FLOOR 2—MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS AND LOVE KIDS.

       She’s intrigued, but continues to the third floor, where the sign reads:

       FLOOR 3—MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS, LOVE KIDS, AND ARE EXTREMELY HANDSOME.

       “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

       FLOOR 4—MEN WHO HAVE GOOD JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE EXTREMELY HANDSOME, AND HELP EQUALLY WITH THE HOUSEWORK.