Nobody’s Son: Part 3 of 3: All Alex ever wanted was a family of his own. Cathy Glass
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with. One time when I went into his room to settle him I had to smile, as he was talking about his social worker being eaten by a lion. Simba? I reassured him there wasn’t a real lion and he went back to sleep. Dreams are nature’s way of cleansing the subconscious.
The following morning, by 10.15, I had the children settled at the table in the kitchen-cum-diner with lots of activities to keep them occupied while the review was taking place in the living room. LAC reviews tend to be formal wherever they are held, and Adrian and Paula knew that once everyone had arrived and the meeting was taking place we weren’t to be disturbed unless there was an emergency. Alex was still refusing to attend his review or speak to anyone who came to it.
Jill arrived first and as I took her coat she asked me how Alex’s behaviour had been since the last time we’d spoken. I said mixed. I’d go into more detail at the review. She looked in on the children to say hello. Adrian and Paula managed a small, shy hello, but Alex kept his head firmly down and, true to his word, said nothing. Debbie arrived next and as I took her coat I told her that Alex was refusing to attend his review and we hadn’t completed his questionnaire. ‘Perhaps he’ll join us later,’ she said. I showed her where the children were and she said, ‘Hi, how are you?’
Alex said nothing, while Adrian and Paula managed another small hello. Debbie joined Jill in the living room and I made them coffee. A few minutes later the independent reviewing officer (IRO), Lorraine, arrived. I hadn’t met her before, although I knew from the paperwork that she had been the reviewing officer at Alex’s previous, more recent reviews.
‘I certainly didn’t expect to be seeing Alex again so soon,’ Lorraine said regretfully.
‘No,’ I agreed. Once a child is adopted they are no longer in care, so no longer have reviews.
I took Lorraine through to Alex and she said hello and received the same response. We both joined Debbie and Jill in the living room. Lorraine didn’t want a coffee. The number of people attending a LAC review varies. There can be a room full, but today there would just be the four of us – five if Alex attended. His teacher would have normally been present, but because it was the half-term holiday she was away. Lin, who’d been present at Alex’s previous review – the last before the introductions to Rosemary and Edward had begun – wouldn’t be coming, as her involvement had finished with the end of the adoption.
I handed Lorraine the questionnaires, explaining that Alex hadn’t wanted to complete his, and sat down. Lorraine opened the meeting by asking us to introduce ourselves, which was usual at the start of all LAC reviews. She made a note of the date and time of the review and the names of those present, then recorded apologies for absence from Miss Cork and also from Shanice, who apparently was a member of the permanency team and had been invited but couldn’t attend. Debbie said she’d include Shanice’s progress in finding Alex a long-term foster family in her report. I felt there was a strange atmosphere as we sat there completing the formalities before the meeting began in earnest, which could best be described as reserved trepidation, perhaps defensiveness, as though we were on guard and bracing ourselves, for this was the first review since the adoption had failed and it wasn’t going to be easy.
‘I understand from Cathy that Alex doesn’t want to join us,’ Lorraine said, addressing us all. ‘I saw him before this meeting and I’ll see him again at the end.’ It was good practice for the IRO to at least see the child as part of the review. She drew a breath. ‘I was very sorry to learn that Alex’s adoption had failed, and so quickly.’ IROs are usually updated prior to a review. ‘I understand a disruption meeting will be held. Has a date been set for that yet?’ she asked Debbie.
‘Not yet, no,’ Debbie said.
‘I think the sooner the better, don’t you?’
‘I’ll speak to Lin and arrange it,’ Debbie said, making a note.
Lorraine now looked at me. ‘Thankfully, Alex was able to return here, or it would have been another new set of foster carers. How is he doing? Is he coping?’
‘Just,’ I said. I stopped, as a worrying thought occurred to me. ‘Sorry,’ I said, standing. ‘I won’t be a minute. I just need to check on something.’ Leaving them looking slightly bemused I went quickly down the hall to the front door where I checked that the latch was on, and then hurried through to the back door to make sure the key was out of reach, which it was. As I passed the children I threw them a smile and then hurried back into the living room.
‘Sorry,’ I said again as I took my seat. ‘I needed to check the doors. Alex has been running away and I now keep the latch down on the front door and the key out of the back door. We can get out in an emergency, but it gives me extra time to stop him if he tries to run away.’
‘Has he been trying to run away much?’ Lorraine asked, concerned.
‘Yes, and it’s on the increase.’ I then related the instances.
‘And he didn’t try to run away when he was here before?’ Lorraine asked.
‘No.’
She made a note and then looked at me again. ‘Please tell us more about Alex.’
When asked about a child I’m fostering I like to start with the positives – their strengths and what is going well for them, although at present for Alex that was going to be difficult. ‘Alex is eating well,’ I said, ‘and he sleeps reasonably well, although he has started having nightmares. He has good self-care skills – he washes and dresses himself, and his play is age-appropriate. He does his homework when asked, although his teacher said he had difficulty concentrating last week. There were also a few incidents at school – Alex became angry and tried to run away.’
‘As I remember he was doing well at school,’ Lorraine said, glancing up from writing to look at Debbie.
‘Yes, he was,’ Debbie said. ‘I have spoken to his teacher and the school is doing all they can to help him settle again.’
‘So this behaviour is a result of what happened with the Andrews?’ Andrews was the family name of Rosemary, Edward and James.
‘Yes,’ Debbie said. ‘It should pass once Alex recovers from his disappointment.’
Lorraine looked at me to continue.
‘I also have concerns that Alex may be depressed,’ I said. ‘Debbie is referring him to CAMHS.’
‘What makes you think he is depressed?’ Lorraine asked.
‘Alex has outbursts of anger, but most of the time he is very quiet and withdrawn. I include him in all activities, but nothing seems to interest him now.’
‘Does he talk to you about how he is feeling?’
‘Only a little. I think he is keeping a lot to himself. He’s obviously devastated by what happened. He was so looking forward to having a family of his own, and of course we told him it would be his last move.’
Lorraine nodded thoughtfully as she wrote and then asked Debbie, ‘Do we have an appointment yet for CAMHS?’
‘No. I’ve made the referral, but it could take two months. There is a waiting list and Alex’s case isn’t classified as urgent.’
Lorraine wrote. ‘This is all so sad,’ she said, voicing her thoughts. ‘It should never have happened.’ Then, looking at me: ‘You have two children. How does Alex get along with them?’
‘When he was here before they all played together nicely, but now he doesn’t want much to do with them. He sits with Adrian and Paula – as they are doing now – but he won’t be playing with them. He doesn’t talk to them much either. He is often in the same room as them but alone, if you know what I mean.’
Lorraine, Jill and Debbie nodded. Jill and Debbie were taking notes too.
‘Have there been any issues between Alex and Adrian?’ Lorraine asked.
‘No. Alex is very good at getting on with other children,