The Obvious: Everything You Need to Know to Succeed. James Dale
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If it were a toss up for efficacy, you’d be nice. But here’s a surprise: Being nice can actually be more effective than being a jerk.
Ron Shapiro is a lawyer/sports agent. Nobody, it would seem, needs to be tougher or more demanding than a sports agent. But Shapiro and his partner, Mark Jankowski, practice, and conduct seminars, in a negotiation philosophy called The Power of Nice. The basic premise is: The best way to get what you want is to help the other person get what he or she wants. Shapiro took that approach to the bargaining table to cut deals for Hall of Fame ballplayers Jim Palmer, Brooks Robinson, Eddie Murray, Kirby Puckett, and (future Hall of Famer) Cal Ripken, Jr., to settle a symphony orchestra strike, to intercede during the baseball shutdown of 1994–1995, and to help the Major League umpires work out their differences with the team owners in 1999–2000. If an agent can be nice – and succeed – so can you.
There’s something to this Golden Rule thing
If you’re unreasonable, unkind, indecent, unfair or not nice to your co-workers, employees, vendors, associates, clients, investors, or partners, they’ll pick up the cues and respond just as badly. Then you have two or more jerks trying to out-jerk each other. On the other hand, if you’re nice, people will be nice back to you, to each other, and to customers, clients, and the outside world.
The J.M. Smucker Company, the jam and jelly giant, believes that being nice, even in little ways, makes everyone happier, which makes the company better.
The company serves all of their many employees complimentary bagels and muffins every day (along with a selection of jams and jellies, of course).
Wegmans, the innovative grocery chain, believes so strongly that being nice is contagious, and good for business, they’ve incorporated the idea into their motto, “Employees first, customers second.” The Wegman family’s rationale: When employees are happy, customers will be too.
You don’t have to own the company or be the boss to be nice. You can pick up an extra mocha grande for your fellow IT guy, acknowledge the innovative thinking of another space designer, encourage an entry-level research assistant, or even tell your supervisor you thought the meeting was productive (if it was.) Guess what? They’ll be nice back.
Being nice is selfish and contagious … in a good way.
The bad guys make the good guys look better
There are a lot of jerks in the world, and unfortunately, many have gravitated to the world of business. Some people can’t help it. Others do it on purpose under the misguided notion that acting tough or demanding or perpetually dissatisfied equates to power and intimidation. The good news is all those jerks make you look better.
In contrast to the typical autocratic method of determining compensation – I’m the boss. I’ll tell you what your pay is – Gore-Tex takes a surprising and very disarming approach. Workers participate in evaluations of fellow team members to determine annual compensation. It’s not only nice, it’s fair. After all, who knows your work better than your fellow employees? Imagine how much more enlightened Gore-Tex looks than their competitors. Imagine how effective that is for attracting and retaining good people.
All employees complain about their benefits, don’t they? Not at Starbucks. In sharp contrast to notoriously stingy global giants, the coffee chain offers healthcare coverage for all employees, including part-timers, including spouses or partners, whether opposite or same sex. They even cover hypnotherapy and naturopathy. Now you know why those baristas treat customers so well. They’re being treated well themselves.
Chances are there are some jerks where you work. At the mortgage company, the biotech lab, the remodeling firm, the moving and storage company, the travel agency, the school, or the government agency. Be nice and just imagine how good you could look by comparison.
People – even people who are skeptical and cautious and cynical – have trouble maintaining their doubting attitude toward someone who is polite, asks how they’re doing, respects their time, keeps promises, responds openly, treats them with dignity. It’s just so … reasonable. You’ll find you actually get your way, achieve your goals, make your sales, sign your deals, get hired, get promoted, make more money, by being equitable, kind, decent, and fair.
Playing fair doesn’t mean you give in when challenged or automatically compromise. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. On the contrary, it signals your strength. It means you’re sensitive, mature, sensible, open, intelligent, rational, consistent, and firm when necessary. Could anything be better? And besides, there’s no downside.
Goldman Sachs, the Wall Street investment bank, offers on-site childcare. Why? Investment banks aren’t known for their short hours so this way the company makes it easy for parents to maximize output and minimize guilt.
Law firm Arnold & Porter lets associates spend six months at public interest organizations; has ombudsmen to handle employee issues, and a peer committee to give lower-ranking lawyers a voice. Do these policies make Arnold & Porter a bunch of patsies? No, they just know what it takes to make better lawyers and keep them.
At American Express, women hold nearly 57% of managerial and supervisory positions and make up 40% of executives and senior managers. Minorities hold more than 18% of positions at those levels. Diversity is a stated policy and value on the AmEx Web site. Are they acting out of social pressure or good business? Both. Sensitivity is smart. Qualified women and minorities have their pick of jobs. And of credit cards. The more they pick American Express, the better.
Google, the company that has changed or discarded almost all the old rules of business, not surprisingly operates under a very non-corporate-sounding motto: Do no evil. Not only is that their guiding principle in business practice, but it has resulted in a wholesale redefinition of the term “employee benefits.” At Google, benefits include onsite medical and dental care, a $500 allowance for take-out meals for new parents, child care, adoption assistance, shuttle service, at-work dry cleaning and haircuts, and a fuel efficient vehicle incentive.
Playing fair works. And it doesn’t mean you’re a pushover … unless a pushover is smart, sensitive, evenhanded, sound, and strong.
You’re judged by the company you keep
Every year Fortune Magazine assembles a list of the best companies to work for. Take a look at a recent sampling. They’re of different sizes, categories, parts of the country and the world, seemingly with little in common but the fact that people like to work for them. But, in fact, there is a pattern, their management practices:
Ikea – This Swedish furniture retailer gives employees extraordinary opportunities. They’re encouraged to take international assignments, with employment opportunities or tuition allowances for spouses.
Pfizer – World-class benefits are offered at this huge drug company, including on-site childcare at four locations (parents pay on a sliding scale based on income) and an elder-care program that includes counseling.
Men’s Wearhouse – Company execs gave away 113 trips to Hawaii at holiday parties in 2003. For those who didn’t score tickets, a three-week paid sabbatical is available after five years; 619 employees took one in 2003.
General Mills – This food company makes it easy for employees to get smart: It reimburses tuition at 100% up to $6,000 per year, even for new employees. And if the employees leave afterward, they need not repay the money.
Proctor & Gamble – Now here’s an innovation: The consumer-products